Graceful Lives

Things I Remember

2010-09-06T06:15:00.003-05:00

Today's Labor Day--in my memories, the official end of summer. In my day, the first Monday in September marked the day before the start of the new school year. Labor was a good name for this nearly last holiday before Thanksgiving. We washed, folded, ironed, etc., everything we owned in preparation for the new school year. Girls weren't allowed to wear pants of any kind, so dresses and skirts and blouses were the only selections we had. By Labor Day, my spring and summer Sunday clothes were worn enough that they were relegated to every day wear, if they weren't too "fancy." Cotton sundresses with jackets or sleeveless crop tops over a full gathered skirt were my favorite first-day-of-school outfits. Recycling Sunday dress clothes was fine. Wearing the white shoes bought for Easter months earlier was NEVER all right. We had rules after all...no white after Labor Day was a big one I never broke--and still don't. I would wear my worn-out summer sneakers while I waited until we could afford to buy my loafers or oxfords for the new school year.I remember that getting new school supplies was always a treat. I never took it for granted that I would have all the stuff on our school list. Everything always depended on when dad's pay day fell and how well my mother had thought ahead and prepared for sending three of us back to school. I learned early to keep my binders (notebooks) as clean as possible because it was likely that I would use them again. I remember that I was often embarrassed by not having new stuff for the start of school. However, I was even more embarrassed by coming up short when we had to write or talk about the dreaded, "What I Did This Summer."

My family seldom took what I would consider a vacation. We went to see relatives and every once in a while, we'd pack up our big canvas tent and Coleman lamps and stove, and camp out at the beach. At least those summers I had something to talk about when I got back to school. Today I can't imagine a week of sleeping on an Army cot, eating sand and getting sunburned. Yet, back then these were exciting days filled with adventure. It was on our beach vacations that I collected my getting-hit-by-a-car and being-bit-by-a-sting ray stories which wowed the "What I Did This Summer" crowd. A slight scar on a leg or arm enhanced the story telling and brought me my five seconds of classroom fame.You can imagine my embarrassment on those years when we stayed at home and the most exciting thing I did was attend two weeks of Vacation Bible School. How do you glamorize making tuna can paper clip containers or coffee can planters? Today, I treasure all the certificates my mother saved from the 15 plus Vacation Bible Schools I attended growing up.
The start of school did signal some really good things. I loved getting back with my girlfriends who I hadn't seen all summer. And, once school started, weekends became more important than ever. Only during the school year were we allowed to go to the movies on Saturday mornings. My brothers and I were allowed to ride a bus to downtown San Antonio and go to the Texas Theater to watch cartoons and usually a western. Who cared how many times a gun was used when everyone seemed to survive in the end, with the bad guys going to jail (with bandages and slings) and the white-hatted heroes singing a song at the end. Was there ever anyone as handsome as Roy Rogers, or as pretty as Dale Evans?

In my childhood I probably saw more movies at the theater than I do today. Movie going was an event to be planned for and anticipated with excitement. First run or re-runs were enjoyed equally. Television was just beginning to come into its own; and, it would take a long, long while before a really good movie made it to the small screen. Until my late elementary school days, there was never an argument at my house about staying up too late watching television. We didn't have one! We went to visit relatives on the evenings that favorite shows were on.

Today as I think about my yesterdays, I'm remembering that our social life was wrapped up in going to church, visiting relatives, and having relatives over to our house. Oh yes, and going to the grocery store where there was air conditioning and a small toy aisle. Mother went to the grocery store usually once every two weeks, right after pay day. One of the best things about going with Mother to the store was getting a nickle to spend at the end of the shopping at the cash register area where gum and candy occupied the check-out lane, just as it does today. I could make a bag of M & Ms last all the way home--sometimes all the way to dinner.

Right after a trip to the grocery store, there were usually treats in the house--at least for the first few days. On Labor Day and other holidays, we typically had soft drinks in the house. We didn't have soft drinks on a regular basis. They were reserved for very special occasions like a family barbecue or other important get-together. My favorite was always an ice cold Coke in the small glass bottle. There's nothing better! Even today I think this is the best way to drink a Coke.

How can I be so young and have such "old time" memories?! Living without a T.V. in the house? Letting children ride a bus to downtown to watch a movie? Growing up in the fifties and sixties was certainly and decidely different than today. The world has turned a time or two since then, and life has changed a million times over for all of us. Matter-of-fact, change is the only constant we know in this era when my cell phone has a shorter life and expiration date than the green beans on my pantry shelf. I do long for the simpler lifestyle of my past when family and church activities occupied the center of my universe. However, I know that there's no going back and no choice but to move ahead and face the ever evolving present and future. Some day soon, this Labor Day will be one of the "good old days" for all these young computer geniuses who seem to rule today. I have to wonder, for what part of their youth or past will they lament?

Time and change come and go for all of us. I'd be more than a tad depressed and concerned about all of this if it weren't for the eternal truth that my time and yours and even that of the modern young geeks rests in the hands of an everlasting, omnipotent, awesome God.

Fads and fashion fade because they are man-made and very temporary. On the other hand, "The heavens keep telling the wonders of God, and the skies declare what He has done. Each day informs the following day; each night announces to the next."(Psalm 19: 1-2).

We love our memories and long for the past because the news scares us. We hear every night how our world is changing daily as one nation rises up against another and there are rumors of war and fighting on many fronts. Yet we read in the Bible, "The Lord destroys the plans and spoils the schemes of the nations. But what the Lord has planned will stand forever. His thoughts never change."
(Psalm 33: 10-11).

Praise the Lord that we can trust Him to hold our past, our present, and our future very carefully in His hands: "Who makes these things happen? Who controls human events? I do! I am the Lord. I was there at the beginning; I will be there at the end." (Isaiah 41: 4).

M O V I N G--Not so much fun the second time around...

2010-08-28T10:07:00.005-05:00

Yikes! Here we are again with cardboard boxes the order of the day. After personally moving from Ft. Worth, Texas down south 300 miles to San Antonio, combining two residences (our Ft. Worth home and my San Antonio corporate apartment) into one, AND moving a regional One by One office to San Antonio, I thought my moving days were past. Oh how incorrect can one be!

The year of the "perfect storm" is upon us at One by One Ministries: the point of our ministry where we have huge growth in ministry locations and numbers of mother/volunteer matches; AND, the point of our operations where our funding is stretched the most. In the middle of this very rocky national economy, individual and corporate donors are cutting back on their charitable giving. Large foundations are cutting back on how many non-profits they will fund and drastically slashing the amounts with which they will fund organizations. While we trust the Lord's provision and have great faith in Him, we are trying to be good stewards of the limited funding we already have. So, we're moving to a smaller Administrative Office and cutting our rent and occupancy costs in half. It's a real praise to the Lord for our finding a very suitable space at such a reasonable rental rate--and, get this, we're leasing from a Christian! Not just any Christian, but one whose wife was a mentor for One by One earlier before her health prevented her from continuing. All of this was an accidental find on our part, but well orchestrated by our Lord.
Today, I'm enjoying these photos of the office we're leaving as one more reminder of our pretty place. We have faith that we'll make our new location a lovely and welcoming space again. Right now there are stacks of boxes in both the new and old offices and disarray EVERYWHERE. It's nice to gaze at these pretty pictures and be reminded that order will reign once more--only not today nor for the week ahead.

Even as every joint in my body aches today, I have to lift up my hands to the Lord. He has brought us safe this far, and I know that He will not take His hands off of us. Even as we face our financial challenges ahead, it is with my whole heart that I say that God will provide. He is good every day in every way. We know that He loves these precious moms and babies more than we can imagine. We believe with everything within us that One by One comes straight from the Lord's heart. How can we do anything but love and serve Him more?!

Hebrews 13:5..."Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Things That Make Me Smile

2010-08-23T21:55:00.001-05:00

I am one beat and tired puppy tonight, and it's only Monday. We've just turned in a major grant for a collaboration we've developed at One by One Ministries with four faith-based social agencies in Memphis, Tennessee. It's a great proposal that will help us minister to the inner city area of Memphis where teen pregnancy, gang violence, etc. runs rampant. We worked hours and hours last week and all through the weekend getting this ready. On top of this grant, we have another one to finish for presentation in a week. And, of course, we're moving our administrative office this week. After a long day of working and packing, I also stopped at the grocery store. Yes, you might say that I've been busy! Tonight I just want to veg and go to bed. I get the groceries put away and chef salads made for an easy supper, and I spot them again. The really cutesy creamer and sugar bowl that always make me pause and smile. The bright mixture of polka dots, stripes, cherries, and solid colors are a happy combination that just make me brighten up. Yep, that's a slight upturn with my lips. My mood is lifting just a bit. Just the right thing at just the right time.

I get the grocieries put away, and supper started. My mood is lifting ever so slightly. Gotta get comfortable so I limp off to my closet and change into something comfy. The shoes are definitely off and house slippers are on. Then it happens again, I spot one of the things in my house that always reminds me that I have much for which to be grateful...my family photo wall in the home office I share with Russ. While the pictures of my lovely daughters, great son-in-law and marvelous grandchildren are a feast for my sore eyes, it is the hand-worked sign in the middle of the photo collage that catches my eye. "All because two hearts fell in love!" Oh there it is, a real giggle and now there's an ever so tiny little bounce in my step. My stars but I've got a sweet life--tired or not.

After supper, my mind is back on my office and the overwhelming task of packing up curriculum, office equipment and supplies, desks, and furniture. I'm beginning to fret again and the frown on my face seems like it's becoming a permanent fixture on my face. Then our dog, Nicholas, comes bounding my way. He's determined that I will pay him attention and he does every trick he knows to get my attention. How can I not smile with my whole face when something as cute as him is begging me to throw a ball and play chase?

I'm still very, very, exhausted and aspirin for my achey muscles is high on my agenda. But by now, I'm also beginning to feel "human" and more like myself. There's tomorrow and the day after that to get the office packed and moved. Tonight, I'm going to make myself let go and relax. Wait, there it is, a tiny, tiny sigh followed by a deep breath. It's going to be all right. There are reminders all around me to lighten up and not take myself and life quite so seriously. I'm not sure that it's been a "holy" evening, but it's been one filled with little reminders of God's love and grace. I think I'll take my moments of joy wherever and whenever I can. What a moment of bliss to realize that God cares that I'm happy!

Zephaniah 3: 17..."The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."

Thinking About Transformation

2010-08-19T16:44:00.000-05:00

Just a few days ago, I was deep into the sweet place in my heart and mind that I reserve for the better and best memories of my life. I indeed shed tears as I wrote the post about my mother. Even as I think about Mom's life-long struggle with mental illness, I have to remember that in spite of her journeys into the "dark land" of depression, Mom lived a productive life. If she were here today, her words to me and to anyone who would listen would be that her life had purpose and was filled with good things. If you asked her or me how that was possible, we both would say, "Because of the transformational power of Jesus." Religion was never a crutch for my mother. It was the reality that brought her back to us from the brink of the dark abyss, time and time again. The fragile, yet strong wings of a butterfly are the perfect symbol for this transformation.

It was God's grace that brought salvation to my mother, and she never seemed to forget who she was--a child of God. Even with depression as her constant companion at times, Mom instinctively seemed to be aware that she had worth, and that there was hope somewhere on the other side of the black hole she might find herself in at the time. Consequently, my mother never attempted suicide as my brother did and other bi-polars often do. Somehow, her belief in God's love and mercy sustained her enough so that she never totally lost hope. Most doctors would tell us that this is very, very rare. For Lorena Moore Elmer, though, hope floated above the frey of all of her psychological problems. It was the life-saver she held onto with all her might.

As I think of my mom, hope, transformation, and butterflies, I'm reminded that Jesus' whole reason for coming to live among us was to show us that we could know the Father if we knew Him. He taught us that hope based on our belief in His love and power could and would lift us right out of our muck and mire. A straight forward dictionary definition of hope is desire accompanied by expectation. Hope is wanting something and believing it will happen. Sounds almost like the same definition as faith--having complete trust or confidence.
I guess that I will always wonder what life would have been like inside a normal household where bi-polar episodes did not exist. For Mom's sake, I wish she had had a smoother path to walk. Yet, in spite of everything, I realize that my childhood shaped me and made me who I am today. Seeing the transformational power of the Lord's love in my mother's life, made me want to know her Savior and Lord. Recognizing what the Lord did to help my mom have strong enough wings to fly out of depression made me want to experience the same power that at times transformed my mom's sadness into outright joy.

Who doesn't want a life where HOPE FLOATS!

Romans 15:13..."I pray that God, who gives hope, will bless you with complete happiness and peace because of your faith. And by the power of the Holy Spirit fill you with hope."

The Birthday Queen

2010-08-16T20:33:00.006-05:00

Isn't this just a lovely, lovely lady? Look at that hair and that gorgeous skin. Her name at the time of this portrait was Lorena Moore. She was somewhere in her twenties and living on her own in San Antonio, Texas. Even though War World II was starting in earnest, her world was still safe and untouched by what was going on thousands of miles overseas. I think this is a birthday photo--at least I hope it is because she looks happy. This person in just a few years will marry my dad, have my older brother, then me within 21 months, and then my younger brother within 27 more months. For all the years I knew her, my mother never lost her love of dressing up, getting her hair fixed, and putting on a pretty face. As pretty and hopeful as she looks in this picture, I know that by her twenties, my mom had already suffered several serious bouts of depression. If one looks at her eyes, they seem a bit wistful, though she is smiling. I wished I could ask her what she was thinking. If it is indeed her birthday photo, I would like to know that she was really happy that day. This is important to me today, August 16th, because today is the anniversary of her birthday. Somehow, I just had to honor the "birthday queen" in some way. No one that I've ever known loved her birthday as much as my mother did. For this one shining day every year, she was the ultimate center of attention. She adored Christmas as well; however, August 16th was HER day.
When the photo above was taken, the war was on everyone's mind and always the center of conversation. My mother's three brothers were all in the service and each one spent time overseas. During the war, Mom worked at a gas station, a very different occupation for a woman, especially for her generation. With so many of the men in uniform and overseas, who was there to keep things running except the women? She was always very proud of this photo, even though the uniform was miles too big on her and not very attractive. I can guarantee you, however, that there's lipstick on that mouth and red polish on those nails. You can see her style shining through in her choice of work shoes. No work oxfords or boots for her! She shared an apartment with a friend, Martha, who would remain the center of most of the stories Mom would tell about this time of her life. Mom once said that Martha was a "party girl" who loved to go out and have a good time. Mom often talked about Martha's fun-loving personality and bright, spirited dispostion. Even when I was young, I could tell that Mom seemed to long to have been Martha.

As far as I can remember, the photo below is right after one of Mom's birthdays. By this time, she's in her fifties and my brothers and I are all gone from home, either married with families or off in school. During her fifth decade, Mom found a third career and became a Physical Ed teacher for a private school. She took some classes to get her certification and she just fell in love with working with children in a setting that was different for her. I remember her celebrating her birthdays in the middle of getting ready for a new school year. She and my dad, who was still living at that time, celebrated with a party. All of us children helped her celebrate in one way or another. And, then all her co-workers and fellow teachers helped to celebrate with her. I recollect that Mom had several birthdays that also involved all our neighbors. Mom was not above celebrating in August and again in September when the children were back in school and in her class. Just look at that hair up-do and that almost flawless make-up. How did she keep those eyebrows so well trimmed? Her clothes were well chosen for the photo. Yet, again, there's that wistful, almost sad quality about her eyes. I do remember that it wouldn't be but about year from this photo, and Mom would start having longer bouts with depression with my dad taking her from one doctor to the next trying to find the magic bullet to help her out of the dark place in which she found herself.

Mom went into nursing care fairly early, in her mid seventies. She cycled in and out of such deep, dark depressive times that she was on life support at one point and we thought we would lose her. Just as she cycled into the dark recesses of her mind, she would also cycle back. And, almost always, she would cycle back in time for her birthday. I remember taking her to Olive Garden or any restaurant where the wait staff would come over and sing and make a fuss. The birthday queen never seemed to forget that at least once a year, she could make herself feel happy again.

The picture above was one of Mom's nursing home birthdays. She has on a new dress and pearls. We were outside by the pool and hot tub and Mom sat down, pulled off her shoes and stuck her feet in. She was playful and just full of delight. I remember that being one of our best days.

My mother passed away three days before Christmas in 2004. This post is the first time that I've written about her. My daughters and I talk about her often. They adored her and easily overlooked all her days of sadness. They each have happy memories of Mom as does my granddaughter who was in elementary school by the time my mother was in nursing care. If you ask either my daughters or my husband what they remember about my mom, they would say in unison without a moment's hesitation, "Her birthdays!"

Lorena the "birthday queen" loved the Lord and she never blamed Him for her bi-polar disease. She did have questions and she would say to me, "When I get to heaven, I really want to ask the Lord why He ever let mental illness exist in our world." In spite of her struggles with depression, my mother lived a victorious life in many respects. She had a great sense of humor and a marvelous dry wit. She had a multitude of friends all her life. No matter how deep or how long the depression would get, Mom would fight her way back to the surface and find something to hold onto. I think that her birthdays were always those life-ropes that brought her back. These snippets of happiness seemed to remind her that happiness WAS possible, even if just for a short while. And, her great anticipation and celebration of her birthday seemed to bring her a sense of normalcy when life around her was uncontrollable and chaotic. How could life be so bad when your birthday is just three months away...two weeks from today...or tomorrow? My mother lived a grace-filled life in spite of or maybe because of her battle with mental illness. She certainly claimed God's mercy and held on to His outstretched hand all her life. How can I do less? Life can be hard, but God is good. And to think, it's just 9 1/2 months to my birthday!

Isaiah 57: 18-19..."I know what you are like! But I will heal you, lead you, and give you comfort, until those who are mourning start singing my praises. No matter where you are, I, the Lord,will heal you and give you peace."

Psalm 117:2..."For great is His love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever."

"But, first..."

2010-08-14T09:44:00.008-05:00

It's Saturday--the next best day of the week, only beaten out by Sunday. I tend to fill my Saturdays to the very brim with activities and things to do. Working fairly long days all week, I'm ready to unwind and get a few projects accomplished. My well organized list is ready to go.

I'm up today by 4:30 a.m. ready to begin the tasks for the day. I know what I want to get done today, I begin to get into my list of things to do.

1. Have a longer prayer and Bible study time. Seek the Lord in prayer for a number of special prayer requests.

2. Catch up blog...write three to four entries/posts.

Praying and study God's Word are really good tasks for this morning. But first, I feel that I need to set up my Blog Notebook I've been meaning to create. So I start archiving a list of blog posts with their date, title, subject, and scripture verse used. I fill pages in my notebook for two months worth of 2009 posts and am plugging along. Then I hear the voice in my ear. But first, go back and read comments, make notes about them, and put them at the right place in the Blog Notebook. I start on this pursuit, get five sets of comments recorded and am going ahead to other postings. But first, let me get out my Bible and record appropriate Bible verse which fit future blog entries. By now I'm writing something on practically every page of my Blog Notebook.

But first, I look at the office clock and realize the work out room of our apartment complex is now open. I stop what I'm doing and put on my exercise duds and walking shoes. I'm almost out the door, but first I need to clean out my exercise bag, put in some more bleach wipes, a fresh hand towel, and a bottle of water.

2. Exercise at least two times this weekend.

I'm out the door, get nearly 40 minutes of walking in. I'm back home ready to take a shower and get back to have a quiet time and do the blog work. But first, let me start the dryer with the clothes I washed last night and get something else on my to do list done.

3. Fix breakfast and cook for Russ.

4. Bake bread and share a loaf with a neighbor.

I reach for a bowl to mix the eggs for a quick omelette for Russ. But first, while I'm at the bowl section of the cabinet, let me get out a bowl and start the yeast mixture curing for whole wheat bread. I get out the ingredients I'll need. But first, let me check on-line for another, maybe better bread recipe. Fast check and I'm back in the kitchen (still in my exercise clothes) deciding to use my favorite recipe I always use. Russ is tired of waiting for an omelette and is fixing a bowl of yogurt and granola. I encourage him to use some of our fresh fruit and I move on with the bread. But first, I stop and cut up the strawberries and fresh pineapple and blueberries left in their packages on the counter and make up a salad for lunch later.

Oh yes, stop and start the yeast mixture and get the bread going.

Yes, bread is now mixed, kneaded, and in the bowl ready to rise. The counter is covered with flour and ingredients ready to be put up. I start this clean-up process, but first, let me wipe off the entire canister set because it looks dusty. While I'm at it, let me straighten the baking ingredient drawer and update the grocery list with what I need.

It's now heading towards noon and after nearly seven and 1/2 hours of work in pursuit of my to-do list, I'm still in my sweaty exercise clothes back in my home office at my desk trying to finish the first thing on my list: have a quiet time filled with prayer and praise and Bible study. And, I'm frustrated and exhausted by all my "but first" jobs!

I'm frustrated mostly because I know better. I've studied time management and even taught seminars on how to gain back control of our times. I also know that giving the Lord my time first seems to multipy my investment of minutes into enough time to get the rest of my stuff done. My intentions this morning when I started were so good. I put in the effort needed to get something accomplished, but I let myself get distracted--a lot. I think I got some good things done along the way, but what I started out to accomplish in the first place somehow got lost along the way...or at least got sidetracked and even postponed.

Why do we think we can get it right without putting the Lord first? Getting good things accomplished isn't nearly as wonderful as getting great things done. I definitely need a "do over." No ifs, ands, or but firsts about it--my grace-full life depends on my getting this right.

Psalm 143:..."Each morning let me learn more about your love because I trust you. I come to you in prayer, asking for your guidance."

Proverbs 16:3..."Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

Seeing Truth

2010-08-08T07:00:00.000-05:00

There's another woman in my husband's life. I kid you not. This beautiful hugger and heart-stealer is none other than our great granddaughter, Lenzy Allyse. I've posted about her before: born to a 16 year old mom (our granddaughter); moved and tossed around until she and her mom landed at our home where they stayed with us for almost two years; currently living with our oldest daughter and her husband. Lenzy is five now and a real live wire. The photos below are last spring's school photos,one with her glasses and one without. Either way we think she's a doll, of course. About those glasses. Lenzy was diagnosed with Optic Nerve Hypoplasia(ONH) just this spring. She is blind in her left eye and the glasses are mostly there to protect her one good eye. Her doctor had diagnosed "lazy eye" when Lenzy was just a toddler. Her left eye seemed to move independently and Lenzy seemed to have a hard time focusing. While we were concerned, we knew that this condition was treatable, usually by strengthening the muscles of the "lazy" eye. For at least 18 months, the doctor had us put a patch on her good eye in hopes that this would force her "lazy" eye to become stronger. Lenzy would usually have quite a melt-down when we put on the patch. She got around all right and even seemed to play once she calmed down. We thought that the fits over the patching were just preschool temper tantrums. The amazing thing is that because of the ONH, Lenzy's left eye has an under-developed optic nerve, actually there's no optic nerve attached to that left eye, and she was born with this condition. How she managed to get around and function when the patch was on is still a mystery to us. She may have memorized her environment thoroughly enough that she was able to get around by touch and feel. How cruel the patching seems now because we were in essence blinding her totally every time we put the patch on.

It's ironic that I wrote a post back on September 27, 2009, entitled "Through a Child's Eyes" and used Lenzy's photos. I used that post to ask questions about what children are thinking when they look certain ways--pensive, happy,etc. I never imagined how important the whole subject of eyes and vision would become.

You can imagine how shocked and grieved I was when my daughter called me right after their appointment with the Pediatric Opthamologist in April. I asked about a million times, "How can this be? There has to be some sight in that eye." And, the answer was that there had never been sight in that left eye, EVER. You have to understand that Lenzy rides horses like an adult. She plays with the tiniest things in her doll house. She does everything any other five year does. If you didn't know about the ONP, you would never suspect that there's anything wrong with Lenzy. For her, there are no limits. She's never known anything other than seeing her world through one eye. She's steadily compensated for her lack of depth perception and doesn't seem limited like you and I think she might be. While our world turned upside down the day we got the ONH diagnosis, Lenzy's world was exactly the same as it has been the day before and the day before that one.

Below are photos we took week before last when Lenzy stayed with us for a week. We took some vacation time and played with a five year old all week.

Lenzy climbs anything and never seems to have any fears of height. She's really pretty graceful in her movements and never seems to fall or stumble as one might think she would.

Lenzy loves to play with paper dolls. She can choose the neatest outfits and match up tiny accessories better than me. Again, she has compensated for the sightless left eye.

Lenzy is a girly girl who loves clothes and all things pink and purple. Praise the Lord, she is an auditory learner who can memorize very long Bible verses and song lyrics simple by listening to others saying or singing them. God is gracious to give her this learning style which will be so important as she goes through school and life. And, as you can tell from her photos,she has the most amazing blue eyes with long, thick eyelashes. The beauty of her eyes often keeps folks from noticing the left eye's disorientation with the right one. There is nothing disfiguring about eye at all

As a realist, I know that Lenzy's life will have its challenges because of the ONH. Matter-of-fact, she has to undergo frequent tests and MRI screenings to monitor the other complications that can accompany ONH. Growth, development, and other things can be compromised because of the optic nerve's proximity to the pituitary gland. So far, Lenzy is growing normally and doing very well in meeting her developmental milestones. However, I know that these potential complications are in the background, shading the parameters of Lenzy's life, both figuratively and realistically.

Because of the ONH, the truth is that Lenzy's life will not be exactly what we had dreamed for her. Driving a car and sports are big "ifs" as well as some other activities. Yet, as I look at this child with a difficult beginning and a challenging future, I know that God's hand is on her. For Lenzy, the truth is her life can be a grace-filled one. Through the eyes of this child, I pray that many will see the Lord's love and mercy and know that His grace--unmerited favor--can be theirs. Some forms of blindness are indeed in the eye of the beholder. The words of the favorite hymn, Amazing Grace say it well,"I once was lost, but now I'm found. I was blind, but now I see."

Psalm 146:8..."The Lord sets prisoners free and heals blind eyes. He gives a helping hand to everyone who falls..."

Matthew 6:22..."Your eyes are like a window for your body. When they are good, you have all the light you need."

Change...Getting It Right

2010-08-04T07:12:00.003-05:00

Most of you know that I'm the Program Director for One by One Ministries. We recruit churches and then train their volunteers to mentor expectant and new moms. One by One is my vocation AND my advocation. From 1995 to 2005, I earned a living directing large church sponsored child development centers and preschools; but, I spent most weekends and almost every vacation creating and writing materials and curriculum for One by One. I can't even calulate the hours spent in birthing and founding this ministry with the other three co-founders, Camille (currently our Executive Director), Evelyn ( a very gifted editor/graphic artist, now retired),and Dr. Hime (who has since passed away). Today, we laughingly say that we're a fifteen year over night success!

As I worked with Evelyn, we would spend hours on the phone and in person, working out every tiny detail of how this new and innovative ministry would work. We planned a simple approach: recruit Christian churches of every denomination and train their volunteers to mentor expectant and new moms. The purpose of the ministry was equally simple: provide easy to understand and apply parent education in a fun approach and help parents, particularly the mothers, parent their children. The vision continued the simplistic approach but was far more profound: impact and change entire generations of parents and babies one mother and baby at a time. We took every concept, every idea and field tested them and then took them to the other founders for discussion. Everything went through a careful screening process.

When it came time to design a "look" for One by One, Evelyn tried out several things until she came up with a wreath of sorts made up of tiny hands. She used primary colors, so indicative of the early, preschool years.

The logo pictured above served our ministry all through our beginning years. We put it on everything--curriculum covers, newsletter headers, business cards, stationery, etc. We had a large professional display created and the little hand "wreath" won people over in a heartbeat. Accompanied by adorable baby pictures, the display would attract folks from across crowded convention exhibit halls. It showed especially well at churches and seemed to just draw people in. We always felt that we had the absolutely best publicity tool in our logo.

Then it happened. We consulted with an advertising expert who suggested that we research who we were as a ministry and why we were so attached to our logo. We sensed change in the air. CHANGE?? How could you improve on perfection, we asked in agitated and excited voices. Why would we want to change something that meant so much to us? Even our volunteer mentors and prayer partners recoiled when they heard we were contemplating making any changes. Why mess with something that really was us in every way?

We met over several weekends for hours at a time. We evaluated every aspect of who we are as a ministry and how our mission and vision statement defined who we were. We dug through question after question until we had pulled back every layer of our ministry. We were helped to see One by One through the eyes of the moms and the volunteers. And, in all our digging and peeling, we redefined who we are. We discovered that we were all about helping the mom on her journey to being her baby's first and best teacher. We learned again that while the baby was the center of the picture, we actually touched the baby THROUGH the mom. We saw that we aren't a preschool oriented ministry. We are a woman to woman ministry all about growth and discovery for the mom and for the volunteers. We were shocked at this discovery!

Out of this study, we discovered our brand and our branding road map. Yes, the tiny hands had to go and in their place had to be something that better fit our vision and our mission. With that discovery came our new image...

Of course...a butterfly. It's feminine. It represents transformation. It has long been a symbol for Christianity, especially in light of the resurrection of Christ. It took us a while, but we finally saw the light and knew that we had something beautiful. We are such creatures of habit, devoted to the familiar--at least I am. I found it hard to give up the old for the new. It seems too true that we find things we think define us, adapt them as being who we are, and hang on for dear life, declaring that we will never let go of them. I was more than a little attached to the wreath of little hands. I liked them and didn't want to see or hear anything that would shake my belief in this symbol of who we were as a ministry. It didn't help that my life was tied so closely to all things preschool. Our little hands logo just spoke to me and I was willing to fight for their staying our logo forever. However, a journey of discovery into the truth and reality of our ministry forced me to take another look at what has become my life's work.

The gorgeous butterfly we had designed now belongs to us and is our copyrighted logo. We feel so blessed to have such a lovely symbol of the transformational work accomplished through the Lord using the volunteer mentors. With every mom who gives her life to Christ and chooses a different life path for herself and her baby, the butterfly becomes ever more meaningful. Just like for each of us who accepts God's gift of grace, the old is gone and the new has come! Yes, a grace-ful life is knowing when to give up in order to get something terrific in exhange.

2 Corinthians 5:17..."Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new."

Colossians 3:10..."Each of you is now a new person. You are becoming more and more like your Creator, and you will understand Him better."

Family Matters

2010-08-02T17:50:00.010-05:00

When I was in second or third grade, my family forgot my birthday. I can't recall the entire story, but I remember wondering how they could do that. Had I not reminded them incessantly like most seven or eight year olds are prone to do? On the day of the forgotten birthday, I remember being at recess, pushing a friend in the swing on the playground, when it came to me...I must be adopted. It just had to be. That was the only explanation for my family forgetting my birthday. That tiny thought stayed in the back of my mind for a long time. Matter-of-fact, it never left. Even when my mom got a cake and a present a day later, I still wondered if my original thoughts about being adopted were true.

Though the family resemblance with my dad and his side of the family was then and now unquestionable, I kept thinking that I just didn't belong to the family in which I found myself growing up. I don't remember even crying over the nearly missed birthday because I think I was so delighted that I had finally figured out why I never seemed to fit in. Thinking and wondering about my real birth parents and siblings became a fun game. Whenever I wanted to escape from the things about my mother, dad, and brothers which drove me crazy or embarrassed me, I conjured up what I thought my life would be like with those phantom parents of my imagination. Of course, I believed that my "real" parents were wealthy and were spending a fortunate on private investigators looking for me. Maybe if I did something that made me famous, I'd be on the news and they'd find me. It never occurred to me to wonder why I had been lost or misplaced at birth in the first place. So,as I look at vintage photographs of families and children, I always have to ask...

"Are you my family?"Is the man holding the little boy in the photo above, my Uncle Sal (I always thought it would be neat to have an Uncle Sal--short for Salvado)? Are those cuties my cousins or, oh my, the brothers of my dreams?

You have to know that I NEVER, EVER told my mom or dad about my adoption thoughts. By the time I was in junior high, I had heard enough of the family stories that involved my birth to know that I was truly an Elmer on my dad's side and a Moore on my mother's side. I inherited my dad's eyes and nose and my mom's inquistive, never-satisfied-with-easy-answers mind.

Even if by some wild, wild chance I had been adopted, I still would have ended up being who I am, through and through, since so much of who we are is environmental, not just heredity. I know that my belief in truth and integrity and striving to be the best you can be at everything you try wasn't mine to claim at birth. It came as I grew up around a dad whose word was his absolute bond and who lived as transparent a life as I've ever seen. Most of all, I know that my becoming a Christian and living an extraordinary life in a quest to serve the Lord with all I have did not come with my DNA on my original birthday. It came with my being exposed to Biblical truths every day of my life; with my being taken to church Sunday after Sunday; and, with my being offered the opportunity of seeing Christ portrayed in the life of the mother I watched struggle often with mental illness.

My family was never perfect, though they never forgot another birthday. They were simply my family...the small group in which God placed me to grow and find Him. I have to wonder if my own children ever asked themselves if they were adopted and secretly hoped that they were. Whether they did or not, I hope they found some of the same answers I did. I think they know that being a child of God is by far the best heritage of all. God is indeed good and full of grace!

Galatians 4:4-7..."But when the time was right, God sent His Son, and a woman gave birth to Him. His Son obeyed the Law, so He could set us free from the Law, and we could become God's children. Now that we are His children, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts. And His Spirit tells us that God is our Father. You are no longer slaves, You are God's children, and you will be given what He has promised."

An America's Got Talent Wanna Be

2010-07-30T12:00:00.011-05:00

I am such a huge fan of this reality show. My husband and I plan the early part of every week around the America's Got Talent network schedule. I apologize for appearing to be so shallow, but I grew up watching Lawrence Welk with my parents. Then I graduated to the Donny and Marie Show with our kids. Of course, there was also the Carol Burnett Show. Variety entertainment is just in my blood. Where on T.V. can one find such a mixture of singers, dancers, magicians, jugglers, and other talents? AGT (how fans refer to the show) raises the bar for reality T.V. a bit and brings some entertainment into the picture. A lot of my friends are watching the show, and believe it or not, even my grown kids like AGT.

The audition shows can be pure torture with gaudy costumes and bad acts everywhere. Even the judges can be hard to watch and listen to as they bicker over contestant's merits. As the auditions go from major city to major city, I'm often amazed and embarrassed by what people are willing to do for their five minutes of fame. I'm more upset at times that these acts even get air time. Finally, though, the sour notes go away as do the magic acts gone awry; and, we're left with a bunch of fairly talented folks who will end up getting sent on to the next level--Las Vegas. It is at this level of the competition when front runners are recorgnized and fans begin to choose their favorites. The 100+ goes down to about 48 and these get sent on to Hollywood for the semi-finals.

Then, lo and behold, the best part comes along when we, the voting audience, get to have an impact on the outcome of the remaining contestants. This year for the first time, I have faithfully voted in each quarter final elimination. I hate to brag, but the first 12 semi-finalists have been chosen and I'm 11 for 12. Actually, I'm 11.67 for 12 because my one wrong pick was actually on my alternate, could-probably-win-list. I even have a small notepad on the coffee table where I'm tracking the semi-finalists.

This is far more information than you may have ever wanted to know about my T.V. viewing habits. However, I'm trying to be honest and real here. Let me mention that the judges this year are better than ever, though Pierce is his perfectionist self and Sharon is too middle-of-the-road. The new judge this year, Howie Mandell, is funny and is more encouraging of raw talent than Pierce. Yes, you can see that I take this show quite seriously.

More than just wanting to watch a variety show, I enjoy AGT because the acts all seem so human and so much like us. If they can make it up the competition's levels and get to the finals, then maybe I even have a shot. I have to admit that every season, I dust off my wild card dreams of being on a stage and doing something that is worth a $1,000,000 prize and a Las Vegas show. Maybe if I rented that cello and took lessons...what if I lost 100 pounds, overcame my fear of heights, and learned to fly on the trapeze...how about if I just concentrated on finding the right material and developed comedic timing? AGT makes me (and many others I've heard) believe once again that anything's possible in our crazy world. I've even looked up the audition site when it was near our town.

The truth is, I don't have a marketable entertainment talent. My husband and best friends will tell you that I'm better off staying with singing in the shower. And, my two too-Baptist left feet won't tap, scoot, or moon-walk me into fame. With my senior citizen status I might get a sympathy vote or two, but I have to face the hard, cold truth that Susan Boyle I'm not. I have to admit that my becoming a millionaire by winning America's Got Talent is just not very likely.

I'm sure glad that the Lord sees worth in you and me whether we can sing, dance, walk on glass, or swallow a flaming sword and appear on AGT. Philippians 3:8-9..."Nothing is as wonderful as knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have given up everything else and count it all as garbage. All I want is Christ and to know that I belong to Him...God accepted me simply because of my faith in Christ."

I think I'll spend my time studying and working on my faith walk and leave Vegas stardom to others. I've got a long way to go, but God's Word tells me I have promise. Philippians 3:12-14..."I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me. So I keep on running and struggling to take hold of the prize. My friends, I don't feel that I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I struggle for what is ahead. I run toward the goal, so that I can win the prize of being called to heaven. This is the prize that God offers because of what Christ Jesus has done."

Horses, Cowboys, God and Church

2010-07-29T07:26:00.013-05:00

Besides being from Texas, I can't fathom putting the above artwork on anything that has my name attached to it...especially my blog. In my home state, we famously use horses, saddles, barb-wire, rope, boots and other symbols of the Old West on our state publicity, on souvenir tee-shirts, and even on the walls of our homes. But most of us, even those like me who love being Texan, are drug store cowboys at best. Much to my older daughter's chagrin, I have never even owned a pair of cowboy boots. These days, however, I find myself pricing those iconic Texas foot coverings, and even trying on jeans and cowboy hats. And, putting horses on my blog. What gives?

It has to be due in part to our older daughter's indoctrinating Russ and me to the best part of the cowboy life style. Laura has had a life-long infatuation with horses and everything that goes with them, which includes the gamut of everything western. After years of dreaming of horses, Laura and her husband, Justin, are pretty much living out her childhood fantasies. While they don't have the ranch they envision having in the future, they are raising horses and own the biggest horse trailer I've ever seen. Ask either of them what their favorite scent is and they will quickly answer, leather and hay.

What I'd like to tell you about today is not just about Justin's and Laura's love affair with horses and all things western. I'd like to share an amazing life-changing journey which was brought about because of their cowboy life-style. In the last few years, the Lord has taken these two wonderful, but very independent and not very religious people and turned them into two dedicated Christians and church leaders who are now using their lives to serve Christ.

For Laura and Justin, turning their lives over to Christ came about because of a fairly recent phenomeon called the Cowboy Church. I understand that Texas is not the only state with these "specialty" churches, so many of you may be familiar with this movement. Though I live in a cowboy-oriented state, I hadn't heard much about cowboy churches until Laura called and told me that they had found a church where they could attend in their jeans and boots and even bring their horses to church. You can imagine my surprise and all the questions I asked. Week by week, Laura called and excitedly described the rodeo events they were involved in at the church. It soon seemed apparent to me that the allure of the church was the variety of arena events held several nights a week. While Russ and I were happy that Justin and Laura had found a church they loved, we were concerned about what real spiritual value could be gained from bull riding and calf roping.

We had our answer when Justin called us one night and told us that he had given his life to Christ and was going to be baptized in a few weeks. The answer wasn't just that Justin was saying he had become a Christian. His life took a huge turn-around and Justin's entire demeanor changed. Laura had been a Christian since her tween years, but had not always been a vocal or even visibly active one. We watched as the Lord turned both Justin's and Laura's life upside down. When Justin was baptized in a cattle trough a few weeks later, he literally and figuratively came out a brand new person with totally new life goals.

In the months since Justin became a Christian and Laura rededicated her life, they have been at "church" at least three to four nights a week. There was still a lot of calf roping and bull roping going on; but, there was also a whole lot of Bible study and praise and worship going on as well.Justin and Laura took on working weekly with the youth at the church and the group has gone from a handful to an average of 40-50. While they try to make sure this group has a good time, they also have serious Bible studies. Justin is a policeman by trade and has taken his new Christianity to work with him. Even his captain recognized this and asked Justin to take the courses necessary to become the chaplain for their unit.

All right, now I was really aware that there was a lot more to the cowboy church than just arena and rodeo events. After many more weeks, a surprise development came about. Laura's and Justin's pastor asked them to start a cowboy church in a small town about 35 miles away from their home. After praying about doing this, Laura and Justin have gingerly stepped out in faith (and in their boots!) and have started a small Bible study on Monday nights in Shepherd, Texas. They began by meeting at a local park and are now at the Community Center at least three Mondays a month. There's no place for arena events yet, but they've already held a family trail ride.

Above is the banner taken right off the brand new Shepherd's Flock Cowboy Church's website. Nope, it doesn't look like my church's website, but it gets the job done and attracts a great many people.

Below is a photo of the table display Laura sets up whether they are meeting outside at the park or inside at the Shepherd Community Center. The upturned cowboy hat is their unofficial offering plate. The cow hide sure doesn't look like any altar covering I've ever seen before, but this table does represent an altar of sorts for this little new congregation.

As a Cowboy Church, the Shepherd's Flock's vision is:

To establish a ministry to the rural and western community;
To create a place where worship is an act of the heart, soul, and mind;
To make a positive impact on our culture and our community by standing on Biblical principles;
To teach the gospel from the pulpit, in the classroom, and in the arena; and,
To teach life skills and ministry skills in a positive environment.

Those are words by which all of us could live, whether we wear boots or not. Below is a photo of Justin and Laura, right before one of their outdoor praise and worship services. There's no denying that this is a cowboy couple! The only surprise is that Laura's not wearing a hat and a horse is not in the picture.

Below, the photo shows folks setting up for church. Every week, chairs, pulpit, table, etc. all have to be set up and readied for a group of about 25-30. That's dedication!

So, we have a daughter who graduated from seminary and is a minister to students and we have a son-in-law and daughter who are still seeking training in their new roles as pastor and wife, but are ministers nonetheless. Russ and I are equally proud of all of them. What an honor to have been part of God's plan for their lives. I can't wait to keep you informed of the Shepherd's Flock Cowboy Church's progress. God works in mysterious ways--even in bull riding and bronc bustin'--but He DOES work!! No matter our "style" of worship, a pure heart that belongs to Him is all that matters. One way, one truth, and one life.

John 14:6..."Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

And for Shepherd's Flock Cowboy Church, a special verse:

John 10: 27-28..."'My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.'"

Tangling with Technology and Winning!

2010-07-25T20:07:00.006-05:00

Wow! I can't believe that I was able to follow the instructions and get this mini-album posted on Graceful Lives. Not that I don't trust what programs tell you to do. It's just that my experience with doing anything other than a simple copy and paste with photos has not been successful. Count today as one for my personal record books.

Yesterday, breezing through scrapbooking blogs and websites, I came across Smilebox. I stopped and played with it and was able to complete this little five page photo album for our great-granddaughter, Lenzy. She loved it when I sent it to her, but she reported that the music made her cry. I don't know if I'm prouder of actually using the technology to create the book or that I was able to post it here and on my FaceBook page. Lenzy will probably be grown before I get another album made, so I'm enjoying my momentary success.

In my years of battling to become computer literate, I have made my fair share of messes. When I first started doing my writing on the computer, I sent a fair number of things to cyber space--usually at 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. Of course, I soon got in the habit of saving the document to a file from the very beginning and then hitting the save button every few sentences or so. I still remember completing almost 10 pages of a ready-for-the-editor chapter for the One by One Mentor's Manual. Ten pages is impressive by anyone's standards. It was even more important to me because I had written all of this chapter late at night and on weekends after a grueling 60 hour work week. I had put the finishing touches on the manuscript just as one of our clocks struck 2:00 a.m. I still do not know what happened, but my screen suddenly went blank and my computer shut down.

Today, I know that I can go back in and try to retrieve lost data. Back then (about 9 years ago), I did not. All my early manuscripts were typewritten. It was the very late '90s before I really started using a computer for my writing. That night of the 10 page disappearing manuscript, I tried hard not to wake up Russ. I remember putting my head on my desk and just bawling my eyes out. I recall sobbing quietly for about an hour when I finally declared an end to the grief and went to bed. I ended up having to do all 10 pages all over again. Fortunately, I generally work from piles of notes and notecards, but it was still a lot of work to have to rewrite and re-key all those thoughts and words.

That would not be my last escapade with faulty computer skills; but, it is one of my most memorable adventures. My "love/hate" relationship with computers continues today. However, with my years of practice has come the confidence to not get panicky and certainly to not get so upset over technology. For coming so late to the computer age, I think I've come a long way. The fancy-schmancy things like Photo Shop and other programs like it are still a bit beyond me, but I am willing to at least try to tackle something new. Whether I do any more five page albums, at least I have this one. And, you have to admit that it's subject is really cute.

I have just about conquered most of Publishing and can flit in and out and design what I need--most of the time. Excel and Power Point are coming along, but still troublesome. I may never be as proficient as my more computer savy friends, but I'm happily plugging along and getting further down the road every day. The computer is much less scarey and my confidence level has grown with exposure and experience. I probably spend at least 10 hours a day either writing or being on-line. Yes, you could say that I've tangled with technology, made peace with it, and tackled it...at least enough to get by!

This afternoon during some Sunday quiet time, I thought about how my Christian life is developing. I still have problems with the "high level" things such as having faith when things are looking dark and frightening. But, with steady exposure to God's Word and life experiences trusting the Lord in good times and bad, I'm gaining confidence. My faith and confidence are all in the Lord, not in my abilities or knowledge. It is an ongoing education. One thing learned and assimilated into my life and then there's something new to learn. Like my computer skills, using my spiritual skills day in and day out helps me to have more confidence to move on to the "advanced level" things...such as evangelism...scripture study and memorization...and trusting the Lord with EVERYTHING in my life. I'll never be skilled enough or know enough and I'll never be finished learning. But, hey, I'm a work in progress!

Psalm 119: 30-32..."I am determined to be faithful and to respect your laws. I follow your rules, Lord. I am eager to learn all that you want me to do; help me to understand more and more."

Home Again

2010-07-21T07:00:00.003-05:00

There's nothing like having your favorite things around to make a new abode feel like home. It seems like ages since we left Ft. Worth and moved to San Antonio to live full-time. Yet, it was only the end of May when we loaded up the moving van and moved all our earthly possessions to South Texas. Well, I should say that we moved the main body of Hibner belongings to San Antonio. Christmas and camping stuff are in our daughter's garage in Austin and about 1/3 of our furniture is in our grandchildren's apartment near Houston. What's left is more than enough to furnish our new apartment. I feel like we've been part of one of those House and Garden TV shows where they take what you own shuffle and rearrange it and stage things differently. The book shelves in the photos above and below hold an ecclectric array of things I've collected through the years. I think its the aged mellow colors of the things on these shelves that I really like. Brown, beiges, golds, burgandies, and deep greens blend so well when placed together. Throw in something blue and/or black and an animal print somewhere and you have a good "look." Or, so I've been told.

I love old books and use them in groups everywhere, sometimes to give items height. The books in the photo below have such rich looking covers. It warms my heart to just look at them. When you open any one of these volumns there's a slight musty smell of old paper. Umm, one of my all time favorite scents! It's crazy, I know.

I love books to read, to use as decor, and to work with in arts and crafts projects. There's something magical in making "art" out of old books. It's the ultimate recycling project. On a previous blog entry, I posted about one of the altered books I had made. The book art below is different than any altered book I have done before. It was so much fun to make. There are five different folds to produce the end product you see. What a treat to touch the old pages and handle them. What a joy to get to smell old paper for the two plus hours it took to do the page folding. I really like the effect of this book "sculpture" displayed on the book shelf.

The photo below shows a glimpse at the whole book case with all its individual elements coming together for what I hope is a well thought out design.

There's much more of the new apartment to show you, but I thought I'd just do an area or two at a time. Russ and I both feel that things have come together well and we're feeling more and more comfortable and settled. Home is really so much more than the things we own, but the stuff of our lives IS important in many respects. Each time we've downsized, I feel that we added huge significance to the things which made the cut. I really liked paring down to just the quality things which have the greatest meaning to Russ and me--even though I fumed and fretted throughout the actual packing process.

Some of you may agree with me that living our entire lives this way could be one of the best ways to do things.. Having now managed to get through three downsizings, I'm here to tell you that cutting back on things is just hard, hard, hard work. Yet, when the hand wringing and tears are over, and the dust has settled again, you're generally left with what means the most and with that which has the greatest value to you. Eliminating and concentrating. Oh, I like the sound of that phrase! I don't know about you, but I'm so ready to embrace the simplest life possible. After all, grace is free. So what else could we possibly need for a grace-ful life?

2 Peter 1:3..."We have everything we need to live a life that pleases God. It was all given to us by God's own power, when we learned that He had invited us to share in His wonderful goodness."

Grace Under Fire

2010-07-18T19:54:00.005-05:00

Last summer Russ brought home seven rose bushes. While I was delighted to have them on our patio, I reminded Russ that roses can be the "divas" of the garden, requiring lots of work year 'round to guarantee a few blooms part of the year. Not to be distracted, Russ said, "Just wait , give me and the roses a chance and let's see what happens." We are NOT great gardeners, but I know that Russ has inherited his mother's green thumb. My sweet mother-in-law could make anything grow. I decided that we would enjoy a few blooms here and there and then dispose of the bushes at the end of the summer.

Russ did a great job finding just the right containers, doubling up bushes in one large container. All the way through the summer and then up through November, these little bushes grew and grew. Russ watered them as needed, fed them a little plant food, but generally ignored the "divas." Lo and behold, the rose bushes bloomed their hearts out and we enjoyed having fresh flowers day after day. I had to admit how wrong I had been about the roses, but I figured we would still end up throwing the bushes away after they died back.

Though I was sceptical, I did mention to Russ that IF he wanted to keep the bushes alive until Spring, he would need to take some precautions, wrap up the bushes and containers, and be diligent with their care. Once again, Russ asked me to just wait and see. His schedule was a heavy one through Christmas and January, so he had no choice but to ignore the rose bushes. Winter 2009-2010 hit with a vengance, and we experienced some of the coldest weather for that part of the state. Even with that, Russ left the bushes in their containers and just pulled them up close to the house. He watched over them, but did little else throughout our very harsh North Texas winter. My one contribution to the wintering of the roses was to remind Russ of one of the few facts about roses I had remembered reading on the web--prune rose bushes in February. When I asked about this in mid-February, Russ chuckled and said that he had pruned the rose bushes back in January. I think I remember rolling my eyes and saying under my breath, "Well, there's the end to that."

By the time March came our way, we had had several huge snow storms. The temps stayed cold enough that the snow lingered on the ground for days. Without a doubt, I thought, the roses are gone. However, as the days got warmer, our little cut back bushes began to sprout new leaves. By April, we had our first beautiful blooms. The photos above and below are our Spring 2010 "crop".

I was shocked, to say the least. With little extra help or care, the roses had made it through the worse winter North Texas had seen in years. By this time, even Russ was surprised by the heartiness of our roses. With Russ' job challenges and our subsequent move, we had little time to worry about the roses. They really were lucky to be watered periodically. Yet, with or without intense care, these blooming wonders gave us bouquets of cheerful flowers. Since we were concerned about how much sun the bushes would receive at our new apartment, we gave the rose bushes to our daughter, Autumn. She put them in her front yard and reports that they are blooming and thriving. Autumn is a busy youth minister who travels a lot during the summer going to youth camps and missions trips. I don't think the roses are getting any more intense attention than they did when we had them. Hearty stock indeed!

I'm not sure I have processed all the symbolism in my little rose tale, but I do think I see encouragement and a lesson or two in their story. First, don't judge eventual outcomes by hear-say, even if it seems true. I was ready more than once to totally abandon the rose growing project because of things I had heard and read about roses. We would have missed spectacular daily blessings, vases full of fragrant and lovely roses, if Russ had stopped because of my doubts. Second, even things that appear inadequate to do so, can survive harsh trails and go on and thrive. Many days in May and June I think Russ and I felt like a pruned rose bush, cut back at the wrong time of the year and left out in the cold. But, as the days pass by and the Lord leads us along, I can see that not only have Russ and I survived, we are doing better than we ever imagined we could under these circumstances. If we look carefully, we can even see a little new growth as we learn to depend even greater on the Lord's goodness and grace.

I realize that our time of trial has not been as hard as that of some of our friends who are struggling with cancer, divorce, or astranged relationships with their children. We know this is not our first trial nor our last. We are fairly sure that we are not even totally finished with this time of "pruning." And, I have to confess that I'm not certain that we've passed the test. What I AM sure about is that at some point in the future, either here on earth and when we're in glory, whatever we are going through will make sense. But, whether things make sense now or later or never, we can trust in God's grace--in good times or hard. It is His grace that can protect us through the fire or harsh weather of this life.

James 1:2-4 and 12..."My friends, be glad, even if you have a lot of trouble. You know that you learn to endure by having your faith tested. But you must learn to endure everything, so that you will be completely mature and not lacking in anything...God will bless you, if you don't give up when your faith is being tested. He will reward you with a glorious life, just as He rewards everyone who loves Him."

Wednesday's Walk With Wisdom

2010-07-14T21:56:00.009-05:00

Philippians 4: 8-9..."Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper. Don't ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise."

I really wanted to call today the "what if" Wednesday since I challenged myself yesterday to walking in greater faith today--even if only for part of the day. For the first few moments of the day, I forgot the challenge. I was involved with getting ready for an early breakfast meeting with a One by One coordinator, who happens to be a good friend. What to wear...when can I get out the door to be on time...and who is that calling so early already... these were my first thoughts and my first worries of the day. Score: trust--0 anxious spirit--3.

Got to the restaurant and within just a few moments I was reminded by my sweet friend that our Heavenly Father is faithful. What if I thought like Kathy all day long? What if I saw the world today through her eyes? Okay, it was beginning to look possible to have those moments of faith. Score: trust--2 anxious spirit--0.

An hour and a half with bubbly Kathy and I was fortified for the day. At the office all our staff were working from their homes today. Ah, pure joy. I had the office to myself. Turned my back on all deadlines for two full hours and worked on files and digging out my desk. Lord, did I remember to thank you for the protected time without worry and doubt? It was marvelous! Score: trust--2 (I can't give myself a higher score because the Lord made it so easy to just rest in His presence) anxious spirit--0.

Ouch...the afternoon hit and I looked at the clock and thought about what I still needed to do. A rush to work on several projects and my heart was beating too fast and my breath became a bit labored. Score: trust--0 anxious spirit--5+. What was that scripture I wrote in my blog yesterday? At nearly 4:00 p.m., I had already forgotten the goal for the day.

But by 6:00 p.m. I was smiling again and walking out of the office door with a song in my heart. What made the difference? An email from my breakfast friend, Kathy, with notes and a story about the latest mentoring visit she attended with a young mom and her baby. Her words reapplied perspective to my work and to my attitude. I recounted the day's moments and realized that I had walked in faith several times during the day. Score: trust--3 anxious spirit--0. Final score? trust--7 anxiety--5.

Yes, it was a close victory, but with just a little push, the evening passed with a relaxed heart and a peaceful spirit. If I scored the evening at home, then trust would have won by at least 5 more points. Praise the Lord! He did it, not me.

What if Thursday was a day of absolute trust? What if there were no moments of "down"? What if I stayed my mind on only the worthwhile and the worthy? What if tomorrow, like a butterfly rising out of its cocoon, I flew with strong wings of faith. What if I let God renew me all day long and let Him keep me soaring above the fray? What if indeed!

Philippians 3:12..."I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me. So I keep on running (Linda's note: and flying!) and struggling to take hold of the prize."

What If?

2010-07-13T22:17:00.006-05:00

Philippians 4:6-7...Do not be anxious about anything,but in everything, by prayer and petition,with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

What's your safe place where you go mentally when things are rocky or situations are crumbling around you? Where do you go to catch your breath? Psychologists suggest that we have pictures of "safe", tranquil places firmly imbedded in our subconscious, ready for us to pull to our consciousness whenever we need to calm our nerves and stop our shaking hands. I guess the photo above with its peaceful natural setting is close to being my perfect mental hide away. I breathe slower just looking at the waterfall with its rock surround and the two spindly trees, and imaging the sound of the water hitting the rocks and hard surface of the small dam.

I wish I could truthfully say that I am the model of grace-filled living and that I live my life free of worry and anxiety. I am not that model nor do I live totally in the freedom God gave us. My husband believes that I probably coined the word fret. That's a really good descriptive word. Fretting means to gnaw, wear away, or make rough--just about the opposite of trust, security and calm.

But what if I took Philippians 4:6-7 at face value? What if I lived God's Word out loud even with the world crashing around me? What if the "peace of God which transcends all understanding" actually ruled in my day to day life? What if I took God at His Word?

What if I let God be God? I think I want to try to put grace back into my angst-driven life starting with letting the Lord guard my heart and mind. What if we all tried this for just part of tomorrow?

Philippians 4:13..."I can do anything through Him who gives me strength."

Sunday Thoughts...My Heart Wide Open

2010-07-11T17:50:00.007-05:00

Russ and Linda, October 14, 1966--thin and dark-haired!Russ and Linda, circa 2010, all grown up!

Sundays are my days for contemplation and deep thought. Routines are different. There's generally time for church, rest, and for breathing deeper. Sometimes, if we let it happen, Sundays seem a suspension in time with the play and family/house work of a Saturday behind us; and, the intensity of a work week still ahead of u. Today, I spent time looking seriously again at choices and their consequences. Russ calls what I am doing, processing. And, it is just that. Sometimes I can't go forward without going backward first.

With all the recent changes in my life, it seems appropriate for me to take a journey looking back at those decisions which have had the greatest impact on my life. I've noted before that my belief in God and my commitment to my Christian faith are the things which make my life workable and livable. Once made, this decision to be a Christ-follower impacted and still impacts every choice of my life. Next to that decision in significance, has to be choosing with whom one will spend their life. Russ, if you read this, don't panic. Our anniversary is still in October so you haven't missed it! Also, don't worry. I didn't embarrass you much, and most of our private life is still private!

I married at 18, choosing this course for my life after much deliberate thought, and even much counsel from others. Though young, I was not willy-nilly about my life. I'm not sure how much wisdom I had at eighteen, but when I said "I do", I did so with the determination of a very old soul in a very young body. Here I am decades later and unfortunately, but very naturally, my body and soul have caught up with one another! Eighteen for me is long gone, yet the choice I made then, I would make again today.

Today I can say that I am one very happy and contented woman who deeply loves the man in her life. I delightedly and unabashedly admit that I'm in love. It was not always so. I chose Russ in the bloom of my youth. What did I know about marriage? In the years since I married him, there have been thousands of decisions made to insure the survival of our union. Sometimes in the first days of marriage, I felt like I took the short end of those decisions. Remember that at 18, one has an elevated impression of one's importance. Russ didn't know what to do with this young wife who seemed his perfect choice just months before. Once the honeymoon period was over, there seemed like there were a thousand decisions to make. Yes, we committed ourselves for better or worse, but had we actually dedicated ourselves to living together?

Two very different people choosing to live together IS one of life's most influential choices. Back in our day, few were living together before a ring was on one's finger and a license hung on the wall. Russ and I would never have chosen to "try" out marriage before everything was perfectly legal. We would make this same choice today. What we would do differently today, knowing what we do and having greater maturity, is that we would have been much more intentional in deciding how to make the decisions and choices which changed our lives and shaped our marriage.

Consequential choices...the secret to life and to marriage. Several choices Russ and I made together kept things from falling apart. First, we intentionally decided that there was NO "backdoor." Our marriage would make it in spite of what was tossed to us. With this in mind, there was no choice but to buck up and with the Lord's help, to face whatever came across our path. That early decision did help to keep us together. Deciding to keep a marriage intact no matter what, definitely increases the longevity of a relationship. It does nothing, however, for its success, health, or happiness. A much more momentous choice for us was choosing to like as well as love the other person in the relationship--no matter what. When Russ and I made that decision, our whole lives changed. More about that on another day.

Philippians 1:6..."Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Choices and Roads Less Traveled

2010-07-10T12:48:00.005-05:00

The grand and glorious photo above was taken on a Texas country road during the height of blue bonnet (our state flower) season this last spring. A motorcycle friend of my husband's sent this shot to him. Can you imagine taking this out of the way route and finding this beatiful bonaza? I have to wonder if the person taking this photo knew what was down this road when it was first chosen as the course for the day?

I woke up today thinking about something that's been on my mind and heart for several days now. Maybe it was posting about Russ yesterday and thinking about decisions we make ourselves and decisions we have pushed on us by others. A key word in life seems to choice. Like everyone else in the world, you and I wake up to a new day every 24 hours. Each morning we choose the road we'll travel --the most convenient one, the most popular one, or the off-the-beaten path one that is less traveled. We also select the "weather" for our day--stormy, overcast, or sunny.

Our daily choices start there, but they are tempered by major choices we have made in the past. For instance, remembering that I have Jesus in my heart does indeed help me turn the corner each morning into the freshness of a newly minted day. Because I trust Him, I know that my regrets from the day before can be consciously left at the foot of the cross where I trust that the Lord will deal with them. No matter how I feel or what's going on in my life, I think I mostly choose to believe that I will do better in the new day before me than I've done before. It boils down to the fact that typically one of my first choices of every day is HOPE. And, isn't hope one of grace's gifts?

Choosing HOPE seems synonymous with choosing Christ. I like that my life is wrapped up in the most positive things in this world. For a Christian, there is always a new day with new choices to be made. Christians were designed and made to be optimists! Now, being an optimist doesn't guarantee an easier life. However, it does produce a much happier way to live. Even my long-suffering husband who knows me so well would say that on my hardest day I'm at least a "half-full-glass" person; and, at my very best, I'm the "over-the-top-of-the-glass" person. Since our choices impact our lives so greatly, doesn't it make sense that we decide intentionally to take the path or road that is the most hopeful, even if it is the road less traveled? Why not pick the most upbeat outlook on life? Why not choose the blue bonnet strewn road?

I've written about choices before and I remain intrigued with the power of choice in our lives. The fatalists believe that we are powerless to enact change. What will be will be and that's pretty much it. That kind of thinking is outside my realm of understanding. Until the day we take our last breath, I believe that we can influence the course of our lives. God does have a perfect plan for us, and today I walk in hope that I will find it and make the right choice to follow it. It is after all the grace-ful life where the blue bonnets are bound to be!

I Corinthians 3:9..."But it is just as the Scriptures say, 'What God has planned for people who love Him is more than eyes have seen or ears have heard. It has never even entered our minds!"

Not All Super Heroes Fly

2010-07-07T23:08:00.009-05:00

The very handsome dude in the photos above is my guy...a superman by any account. Russ was so excited when he found this shirt and has worn it happily ever since. He is an authenic Superman fan who will watch marathons of back episodes of Smallville. While he admires the man of steel who saves the world by great acts of strength and endurance, he doesn't begin to realize how many people look up to him and depend on him to rescue them in one form or another. I'm one of his "rescuees". I also play the Lois Lane part any time I can--who wouldn't want to kiss this super hero!

Now I have to admit that I've never seen Russ in blue tights or with a large cape. Nor have my eyes have ever watched him in mid-air flying to the next car wreck, bank robbery, and natural disaster. Yet, for almost 44 years, I've watched this man of mine work hard at every job he's ever held. Like many others, he might have dreamed of a different career and life path for himself. Yet, I haven't heard him complain much. He just did whatever he had to do to take care of his family.

During most of our married life, Russ has had a place of service at whatever church we were attending. He was a part-time minister of music for small to medium sized churches for the longest time. For the seven years we lived in Austin, Texas, Russ worked at several jobs to help support us and to support his "church habit." He did the music program for a small, rural church with the same enthusiasm and effort as he had before at much larger churches. I remember him also cleaning the church when needed and even cooking Wednesday suppers as a service to the congregation. What an example of a servant for this church to see.

For the last 12+ years, Russ has served as Facilities Director for two different very larger churches. While this was not what he may have planned earlier in his life, he took to this work and made it his own. His administrative skills came to the forefront and he brought organization and always worked hard at saving money and staying on budget with each church. Super heroes are always diligent workers and Russ was no exception. Fourteen hour days were nothing for him. Working holidays and every weekend were the standard for him.

I don't know if many of us recognize the service of others around us, especially at church. Sometimes we just assume that the building will be ready, the nursery cleaned, the grounds beautiful and ready for us. Yet, without support staff such as Russ and his crews, church just couldn't happen.

So, today, here's to unsung heroes and the angels among us. I know that the Lord is the ultimate score-keeper and rewarder. He certainly knows the heart and work of all us. However, sometimes even Superman needs an "atta boy." Would you believe, that even as Russ is trying to retire and find his way to easier days, he is volunteering for One by One 15-20 hours a week? He's still keeping the gospel fires burning with quiet, competent service. God bless my super hero and his grace-full life.

2 Chronicles 31:21..."

In everything he undertook in the service of God's temple and in obedience to the law and the commands, he sought his God and worked wholeheartedly. And so he prospered."

Resurrection Sunday Dance, Budapest, Hungary

2010-07-05T07:42:00.001-05:00

We serve an awesome God. Surfing and reading blogs this morning, I found this absolutely wonderful video from the Faith Church Budapest. Before it was even finished, I wanted to jump up and dance with them! Please watch this and look at the faces of those involved. The joy of the Lord is on every one of them. Though it's not still Easter, please watch the video from beginning to end. It is so worth the five minutes. YOU WILL BE BLESSED! The resurrection of our Lord bought our salvation and brought us a new beginning...a new future. If you have Jesus, then you have a brand new grace-filled life to celebrate today. I hope you dance in resurrection joy today!

Jeremiah 28: 11..."For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I'm Still Here, But "Here" Has Changed

2010-07-04T22:51:00.005-05:00

Yes, it's been weeks and weeks since I've entered a post here. I wish I had a lovely and long story about a cruise or a vacation that took me away to far and exotic places where telecommunications just didn't work. But the truth of the matter is that in April, my husband and I had our lives turned upside down. I guess we have indeed been on a trip of sorts...a journey of discovery.

After eight years as Facilities Director with our church, my husband's employment changed overnight. While it did catch us off guard, it should not have surprised us. I watched Russ go week after week working 10-14 hours many days and then having to cover events over the weekend as well. There were many weeks that he had a few hours off either on Saturday or Sunday but no other time off to catch his breath. By last fall, I was already praying seriously that the Lord would open a door for Russ to at least semi-retired. Russ told me later that he had also been praying for the same thing. He admitted that he was ready for our long, monthly separations due to my traveling to San Antonio for my work to end. Because of One by One's precarious position as a new non-profit with funding very dependent on an unstable economy, neither of us saw a way we could make such a major change. Discovery No. One: God had our backs. He knew what would be best for us, for One by One, and for the church with which Russ had been working. Discover No. Two: We don't always know exactly what's best for ourselves, nor do we always have a handle on the timing of our lives.

It seems that the Lord had been listening carefully to our prayers and He made the change for us. Things took an unexpected turn and we found ourselves with the job decision pretty well made for us. After struggling with trying to make a decision for months, within two weeks, Russ had said his last good-byes to his crew and packed his office. In another two-three weeks, we had also packed up all our belongings and had moved to San Antonio.

Wow, I made that sound so easy, like one, two, three, and things were done. As you can imagine, things didn't happen that way. But I have to admit that the Lord, in His loving and merciful way, took care of us, dotting every "i" and crossing every "t" before we even knew what we needed. Discovery No. Three: God is bigger than any trial we think we are having. It was a major struggle to pack up two residences (one at Ft.Worth we shared and my San Antonio apartment) and a regional One by One office. And it was hard work to clean the apartments and the office. Yet, somehow everything came together. From finding the new apartment to the very logistics of the move itself, we saw God's hand at work for us.

Discovery No. Four for me came one late night when we wearily fell into bed at midnight or beyond. Russ and I took just a moment to discuss the day we had just lived through. In the middle of the discussion, I noticed a smile on Russ' face and excitement in his voice. He shared with me that he was relieved to not have to face his long, difficult days and was looking forward with great anticipation to living in San Antonio again after being away for 29 years. God knows what is best for us and He is dependable to bring about His will.

Not a day has gone by in the last few months when we've doubted God's presence or His grace. Life still feels a little out of kelter sometimes, and we're still concerned about One by One's financial future and the shakey economy. But Discover No. Five is that when the ground under your feet feels like shifting sand, our Lord is the strong, true foundation.

I posted a smiling photo of Russ and me, double chins and all. I thought you ought to see what God's applied grace looks like. Nothing we've ever done has earned us the Father's providential care. His unmerited favor has us on this uncharted journey of discovery. We are blessed beyound words and so grateful to the Lord for His protection, direction, encouragement, and tremendous help.

Isaiah 33:6..."He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure."

Psalm 62: 1-2..."My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken."

We All Need an Angel or Two

2010-03-18T23:02:00.003-05:00

Well, I was on a real roll with writting a blog post almost daily. Then, Russ and I went to a family camp this weekend in the Texas Hill Country and my writing stopped for a while. The weather was absolutely perfect and we enjoyed a nearby river, beautiful sunshine, and wonderful fellowship with one of our daughters and her family and with one of our One by One Coordinators and her family. And, we enjoyed the 50+ others who were also there from Friday to Sunday. I brought my computer because I was going to post photos from the weekend from the camp. The computer never left our car. Things were going well when on Saturday I bit down on a piece of candy and broke a crown and the tooth under it. I was in misery!

I ended up having the tooth surgically removed Monday afternoon. It took one and a half hours of pulling and yanking to get all the pieces of the tooth out. Needless to say, I went home from that time not in good shape. I remember praying so hard that my stint in the dentist chair would go quickly. Seven rounds of whatever they were using for numbing did not work for the entire extraction. Talk about white knuckles! I do believe, however, that I did have an angel watching over me because I was able to get into see the dentist in the first place.

Russ was a wonderful "nurse" and my own special angel. He brought me all kinds of liquids and very soft solids. I laid low on Tuesday while he fretted over me. I then was finally able to drive to San Antonio yesterday and am now here for my two weeks of work. The good news is that I 've lost eight (8) pounds already. Eating is still not fun while I wait for the stitches to dissolve. What a way to start a diet!

We did have fun at the camp, however. I highly recommend such an adventure for any couple or family. It was truly like the old fashioned church camps I remember from my childhood. We even made s'mores and did an art project. Just being away where our cell phones wouldn't work was a delightful experience. Being "unplugged" for a while doesn't hurt any of us, right?

The camp planned a "Winter 'Lympics"--not to be confused with the real Olympics. Russ and I signed up for ice dancing (a pretend version,of course). Even though I was already in trouble with my tooth, we knew that we had to do this gig. We decided to go for broke and really hammed it up. We "skated" to Could I Have This Dance for the Rest of My Life" which we consider to be our song. I think there might be a video out on YouTube by now! You might see photos if you go to www.llfamilycamp.org. I'll try to post some when I feel better and can download the camera. No point in letting such an embarrassing moment go by unnoticed! Russ was a great sport and played along with all the dramatics. He twirled me and I did a little spin on one leg. It was a sight! Our daughter and family said that we won the gold medal, though the competition was declared a tie.

Toothache and all, the last few days have been good ones. God is faithful no matter what and life goes on. There is an end to the mouth troubles just around the corner and hopefully my life will return to whatever normalcy I typically have--though there's not much "normal"about my life! I'm grateful for every ounce of grace our Heavenly Father grants me. From a brilliant husband who is humble enough to act silly once in a while, to a dentist who was willing to see me on an emergency basis and took wonderful care of me, I have known grace-filled days this week. I know that I've felt the flutter of angel wings every where I've walked. I hope you have known the same.

Isaiah 41:10..."So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Amen and amen!

Sharp Truths

2010-03-11T19:53:00.006-06:00

I've mentioned on Graceful Lives before that my husband and I live in a small apartment owned by the church for which Russ works as facilities director. That's small with a capital "s"...little...not big...undersized...petite. I say this because we still own some of the same pieces we did before we downsized from first over 5,000 square feet (when we did group foster care and had eight children to live with us in addition to our own two), to homes with 2,00-2,500, to an apartment with almost 1,500 to this apartment with about 950 square feet. Believe it or not, nothing looks overly crowded as we've used some of HGTV's best ideas to create a very livable space.

But, there is very limited wall space because there are only four main rooms off a central hallway. Between seven interiors doors and three to four large windows per room, available wall space for hanging art and treasures is just non-existent. So we've gotten very creative in hanging some of Russ' favorite swords and a shield he likes. We already have a sort of Tuscany look going on so these things seem to fit well with our decor. Russ doesn't hunt or fence. He has a large collection of knives, daggers, and swords. Even I have to admit that they are very attractive. Look at the photo above and notice the handle with the engravings. Russ' reproductions are probably almost as costly as the real antique ones.

The five displayed in the photo above are just part of his collection. We found a little wall space between the bathroom and our bedroom. The swords in their leather scabbards (sometimes also called sheaths) are a handsome display. Visitors to the apartment usually stop and admire these like they were pieces of art, which I guess they are. Russ only owns one shield, pictured below. Isn't it impressive looking? I'm not sure how much protection it would be in a real sword fight, but it's heavy as lead. Maybe you could use it to plop someone on the head and keep your sword clean?

I think Russ appreciates having his favorite things out where he can enjoy them. For me, I like them, too--but for different reasons. I don't ever expect to use any of the heavy things either in a sword fight or in an attempt to save or protect my life or anyone else's. Though I do like to know the swords are there and could be used. However, I really like what the swords represent--protection. And, when I'm contemplative, the swords remind me of a couple of my favorite Bible verses:

Psalms 18:1-3..."I love you, Lord God, and you make me strong. You are my mighty rock, my fortress, my protector, the rock where I am safe, my shield, my powerful weapon, and my place of shelter."

Ephesians 6: 16-17..."Let your faith be like a shield, and you will be able to stop all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Let God's saving power be like a helmet,and for a sword use God's message that comes from the Spirit."

Pans, Potential, Purpose, Possibilities, Perfection, Personal Best

2010-03-09T20:43:00.011-06:00

PANS: For the last several years, Russ and I have eaten out a whole lot of the time. Long and difficult work schedules made this choice seem like the way to go. For at least the last 10 years, we've eaten many more meals at restaurants than we did at home. I still bought groceries and cooked an occasional breakfast and every-once-in-a-while family meal. For the most part, however, we found ourselves spending our evenings at the local Cracker Barrel, Olive Garden, South of the Border, etc. Not a healthy way to live, but it put Russ and I across the table from each other with a little time to talk and catch up.

Then recently, the cooking bug bit me again and I've been spending more time in the kitchen reading cookbooks, planning meals, and actually COOKING. I've fallen back in love with the power and creativity of cooking...especially the power over our nutrient content. It was this renewed interest in the culinary arts which led me to Friday, and the fateful day I went shopping for bread pans. Years ago I had literally worn out my loaf pans baking bread almost weekly. I hadn't replaced them because who was going to use them?

POTENTIAL: But after one very successful batch of french bread and two rounds of yeast rolls, I was ready to bake real bread from scratch again. With Russ as my accomplice, off I went to Target to find the world's best loaf/bread pans. My, oh my, did we ever find the Mercedes Benz of bread pans! There they are at the top of this post. Mat gun-power stainless steel with the nicest surface you've ever seen...a little heavier than my previous pans, and just absolutely perfect in every way. I felt like I had bought my dream car when I piled them on the counter at the check-out stand!

PURPOSE: Well, I got those babies home and as fast as I could, washed them and got ready to initiate them. Then, last Thursday, I drug out all the ingredients for whole wheat bread after going on-line and finding a new recipe that allowed me to add oatmeal, sunflower and sesame seeds, and pecans. My counter was a bit messy with every ingredient out and ready.

POSSIBILITIES: I thoroughly enjoyed my new recipe! It called for a little real butter, brown sugar AND honey. The beginning of the mixing and processing called for blending the yeast with honey and warm milk and a little flour. The mixture had that lovely yeasty smell and bubbled and rose just like it was supposed to do. Just looking at the white mass in the bowl made my mind race forward to the completed product and the possibility of my baking Russ the world's best whole wheat bread. I also started thinking about my own future on the Food Network and how good my pans would look on the cover shot of the new cookbook I might write one day.

Kneading fresh bread dough has always made me feel really satisfied. As the dough came together and became more velvety smooth with every thrust and push, I pictured myself demonstrating this fabulous new recipe at a career day celebration at a local school. Maybe it is possible that I could win the newspaper's bread-making contest in the summer?

PERFECTION: The end results of my messy counter and mixing mania, were two regular loaves of bread and a braided bread rope. The bread looked beautiful and tasted wonderful. At dinner on the night of my baking "rebirth," my man and I ate our way through almost an entire loaf of the bread. I believe Russ' big smiley face delivered my reward!

PERSONAL BEST: Over the next few days we used the fabulous whole wheat bread for snacks, breakfast toast, and sandwiches. It tasted good no matter what we did to it! On Sunday, I used the leftover scraps in bread pudding. Warm out of the oven, we enjoyed our bread one more time, this time as a sweet dessert treat. The jury is still out for now, but this particular batch of bread pudding could be my own personal best recipe I've ever made. How good it tasted!

The last crumb of the bread is gone. It was wonderful while it lasted! If my schedule this week will let up just a little, I'll try a second whole wheat recipe and break out those marvelous loaf pans one more time. No, I probably am not the next Rachel Ray or Sandra Lee. There are no cameras following my every move in the kitchen. But famous or not, God loves me and He loves you. We have the potential to be all that He designed us to be. No matter what we do in life and no matter how hectic our lives are, we still have one purpose in life...we were created to worship and serve our Heavenly Father. When we choose Him to guide and direct our lives, the possibilities are endless. I'll never be perfect on my own, but the Lord grants me His perfection through His bountiful grace. Praise the Lord, He has given us His personal best---His very own Son.

Jeremiah 29:11..."For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Time and Time Again

2010-03-08T22:17:00.005-06:00

I’ve thought about time a lot lately, as I always do…Next Tuesday, it’s time to pack and go to San Antonio for two weeks of work. My time’s almost up for having a more relaxed schedule, and I have a writing deadline NOW. Tomorrow I need to have a board report ready and need to take time to call 12 prospective churches. Yesterday I was caught up—what happened?! Where did the time go? It can’t be time for Easter—it was just Christmas.

My heart absolutely races as I think about the moments of my life and how quickly they are passing. The Lord seems to be driving the point home with me that it’s now or never for all of us. Every day has to be the most special of days. Our work has to be accomplished like it was our last day. Memories have to be made and collected as they happen. We can’t wait for the tomorrow that might or might not be ours.

Can you see why I’m intent on my “time relativity experiment”—living life purposefully and intentionally—to the fullest, if you would—so that the minutes, hours, day, months, weeks, and years don’t whirl away right in front of our eyes. I won’t even begin to get into all the Bible verses that are tied to time. From Genesis to Revelation, God is called the Ancient of Days. We often read the words forever and forever attached to God. His divine eternal nature is sometimes contrasted with our human frailty and our mortality.

There’s really nothing to fret about. God knows the length and breadth of our lives and has things under control. Job 14:5 reads, “Man’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.” You and I have a beginning, a middle, and an end…it’s inevitable.

Before the Lord, I declare that all I want is to really comprehend, recognize, know, feel, and realize the life around me. Wouldn’t it be totally ungrateful and disrespectful to our Creator if we just ran through this earthly life and didn’t stop and appreciate its wonder and amazement? If God is in all the details of life, might we not miss Him if we don’t mount a campaign to slow down our life and mark its meaningful moments? Yes, that’s why as children time drug by. We were always waiting for the next great celebration…our birthday, summer vacation, the family reunion, Christmas.

So, tonight I post another entry. I celebrate this ordinary, rainy Monday because it is the only March 8, 2010 I will ever have. I commemorate this day by asking, “What do I want to see happen in my life before I die? What small step could I take toward that purpose today? Or tomorrow

Psalm 90: 12…”Teach us to number our days aright that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

Psalm 90:17…”May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us—yes, establish the work of our hands.”

Sunday Thoughts

2010-03-07T18:37:00.002-06:00

If you're a regular at Graceful Lives, then you might recognize the bridge in the photo above. I took this photo while we were on vacation and going through some of the most beautiful areas of Arkansas. I am not a gifted photographer and usually consider it a good shot if I don't chop off someone's head. Which is why I can't believe the quality of this photo. It is centered...it is focused and clear...it reflects the feeling of mystery of the woods surrounding the bridge...it captures the light just over the curve of the bridge...it has content and tells a story of sorts...it just may be the best photo I've ever taken..it inspires me to work harder at trying to get more shots like this one. An impromtu moment, a quick aiming of the camera, and I now have a forever memory in a photograph with which I'm very pleased. A happy accident, to say the least!

I ponder at times if some of my life has indeed been a "happy accident." Not that that is bad, but somehow that lacks the intentionality I think God intends for us. Don't you agree that most of our lives are a compilation of the choices of consequence which we make? I hate to admit how many of my life decisions I made on the spot, without study, sometimes without prayer, and without consideration of the future application or merit. "Aim and shoot" unfortunately has sometimes applied to more than just my camera.

Yet, there has always been an underlying current of purpose in my life. I see God's grace arriving with every wave that has rocked my life--dealing with a bi-polar mother and brother, experiencing miscarriages and an early hysterectomy, living through family illnesses and financial set-backs, and facing the aftermath of bad decisions, etc. I see His hand steadying my life and getting me back on course time after time. How I got to this point in my life amazes me all the time. Why didn't I drown? How can I still be swimming?

God's grace is the only answer. His unwavering commitment to being a loving and faithful Heavenly Father is the constant life-saver that keeps me afloat. I can't sink or drown because He won't let me. I'm tethered to the Rock of Ages and He won't let me go..."rooted and established in love." How cool is that?!

Ephesians 3: 16-19..."I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

A Perfect Day

2010-03-06T16:25:00.001-06:00

I thought this was not going to be a good day at all. My pity party started yesterday when I remembered that Russ would have to work. On a Saturday. On our day...the day we were going to scout out farmers' markets, have lunch out at some new place, catch a movie, hold hands, have fun. Saturday, the only day that I have a "laid-back" Russ with some time to kill. Now it felt like it was going to be a horrible, terrible, not very good, just bad-to-the-core day. I was more than a bit bummed out last night just thinking that I wasn't getting the day for which I had planned and wanted so badly. I'm not sure I exactly pouted, but I know I wasn't a happy camper.

It isn't any wonder that I couldn't sleep beyond 4:30 a.m. This used to be my wake-up time, but I've worked hard at re-teaching my body to stay in bed and asleep until at least 5:30 or 6:00. But here I was awake already. It had arrived, the horrible, terrible, not very good, just bad-to-the-core day. And, it had arrived EARLY. Oh, did I mention, it was overcast and starting to rain as well?

I got up and started the coffee and began my quiet time. As I've mentioned before, our church is going through a three month challenge to read the Bible through in 90 days. I read the 12 pages assigned for today while sipping coffee. O.K. ,while sipping really very good coffee. Was the mood lifting? Then I thought about the Lord and prayed for a while. Was that a smile about to turn up my pouty mouth? All right, I admit it, it's impossible to pout, cross one's arms and stomp one's feet (figuratively speaking, of course) and be in a bad mood when you're either reading God's Word or praying. By the time Russ left for work, I was actually really smiling and had a plan for the day. While it might not be on your list of favorite things to do, for me, when I'm in a funky state of mind, I want to clean or organize--especially on a rainy day. I decided to clean the house from top to bottom (not hard to do in a small apartment like ours) and get all the laundry done.

I felt energerized as I dusted the photos in the study/office (photo at the very top). Who wouldn't feel better looking at those faces I love so much. That kissing/hugging photo of Russ and me at the top on the wall, just made me laugh again at our "kiss and dip" venture earlier this week (my March 4th post). Was that really a giggle coming from my mouth?

Yes, my desk still looked like the disaster it did in the photos in March 's post. But, I decided to ignore the stacks for right then and took just enough time to survey what I needed to do to get my office back in shape. I made a plan to come back and work exclusively on my desk and files later in the morning. I went on to the rest of the house. I dusted shelves (photo above), vacuumed floors, and moved on. I was feeling better and better!

By the time I got to the living room, I had already cleaned and shined every inch of porcelain, chrome, tile, etc. in the kitchen and bath. Now I was really into the action. See the photo above? Will you look at that glowing wood shine! The fruit of my labor!

The dining room was finished in a flash and I stepped back to admire how good things looked. With just the two of us in the house, things don't really get dirty, but we have street construction going on in front of our house. Everything gets so dusty. In the photo above, see the now dust-free enviroment? Splendid!

I even moved all the stuff off every table and polished all the wood surfaces. See photo above. Don't tell my perfectionist husband that I sometimes dust with a Swiffer duster and dust around books and things. Not today, though. You can even see the reflection of the books in the table's surface. Brilliant! In the photo below you may not be able to tell but there are no cobwebs on the lamp nor on the table legs. Oops, Russ, I miss those sometimes!

All the while my whirling cleaning rag was moving, the laundry was being completed and hung. Both tasks were finished about the same time. Then I headed into my office and the fun really began. I'm sorry to say that I don't have photos except the "befores" that I used on my March 3rd post. Let me just say that you could not see much of a wood surface anywhere on my L-shaped desk. The floor around my desk was not much better. Now you know why I didn't take too many "before" shots.

After a quick lunch, I got my second wind and started in. I organized a little and put enough things in files or in stacks to be filed so that I could have some working room. That's when I began a conquer-all battle with almost every piece of paper within reach. I organized, filed, acted upon, or shredded reams (well, it seemed like reams!) of bits and pieces of my work life. I was so absorbed in my work that I didn't even realize the time and didn't notice when Russ came in from work.

It took jjust about three hours this afternoon to manage a feat that I had been dreading forever. Since I travel so much, I'm in the habit of taking lots of files with me. I have everything on my flash drive or on my lap top's hard drive; however, I need hard copies of things. I had huge files that I had labeled: "In Progress", "Work to Finish", etc. And I love this one just marked, " Later". Later when? The "needs" list was overwhelming: needs answer, needs reply, needs call, needs decision, etc. I threw out all excuses and just dealt with each file as best as I could at that moment. The list of finished projects grew and grew. I'm excited right now even as I write this!

My day wasn't finished yet. Once Russ came in, I stopped what I was doing and we had dinner together and then watched a rented movie. I got my special time with Russ after all.

So I really got EVERYTHING in this one day...clean clothes and a clean house, plus enough accomplished on long over-due work stuff to make me dance a happy dance all evening...and there was time with Russ. My horrible, terrible, not very good, just bad-to-the-core day just got blown to bits. It morphed into a terrific, wonderful, better-than-expected, fantastic, great day! God is good EVERY day in EVERY way.

Psalm 13: 5-6..."But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me."

Very Favorite Things

2010-03-05T17:06:00.006-06:00

Nothing like starting a post with bling! Isn't that a gorgeous necklace? It is one of my most favorite pieces of jewelry of all time. Every time I wear it, I have women stop me to admire it. It must be all the beautiful dangly hearts and charms. Would you believe it only cost $14.99? How could something so lovely and wonderful be so inexpensive? I found the necklace back before Christmas when I was looking for something for our older daughter. I did indeed find something delightful for her, then I spotted this wonderful creation. It is a bit much for some outfits, but with something simple like a black velvet plain front blouse, it is near perfect. My mother was a jewelry fanatic and I could never compete with her vast collection of costume jewelry. You know what? She would have definitely approved of this piece, and matter of fact, would have begged and bartered for this. Now, if this inexpensive necklace will only last like a piece of fine sterling silver. Is there a chance it might?

The intent of doing a post on some favorite things was not to display jewelry. However, here's another piece of bling that is really, really, really my all time favorite piece. Russ and I bought ourselves simple silver bands for our anniversary last October. I was going to post about our 43rd anniversary, but just never got it finished. This ring is special, but not because it was expensive, because it wasn't. It's an ordinary sterling silver band from James Avery (a familiar and famous local jeweler from the Texas Hill Country). It is extraordinary to me because it represents a settled battle over something I've fought for years. I've hounded Russ forever for a diamond ring. Every gift giving occasion became a time of whining about what I wanted...a princess cut center diamond surrounded by smaller diamonds. Through the years, my would be diamond disappeared as we paid for college tuition, weddings, car repairs, grandbaby expenses. I was always part of the decision making process and always agreed that something on my finger was far outweighed by the current pressing financial need. Then it happened. A quiet revelation that my diamond ring existed in a hundred different events, things, people, etc. And, the realization that I'm married to the biggest diamond in the world, my guy Russ. So, when it came time to treat ourselves for our 43rd anniversary, for once I didn't ask for a diamond ring, either in jest or in seriousness. I asked for a vacation and for time with Russ. It was while we were on the vacation that we walked past a James Avery shop and in less than 15 minutes had picked out our bands. We took off our old rings and put on the new ones I instantly felt the most contented that I've ever felt with any gift. Russ, when you read this, please know that I'm sincere when I say that this is the most beautiful thing I own!

I adore Susan Boyle and have enjoyed her CD more than almost any album of music I've owned. Russ heard me say that I might like to have her album and then surprise me with it. What a perfect combination of oldies, two hymns, and some newer music as well. Very easy listening...very well produced. I listen to it in the car, and I go to sleep with it with I'm in San Antonio by myself. I want to buy another one because I know that I will wear this one out very soon. I hope Susan records another one soon. Every time I listen to her lovely voice, I pray for her. I worry about her and her new found fame and hope she's happy. I feel like she's family. She's had that profound an effect on me.

Bright happy looking feet have never been a priority with me. I wear black or navy shoes always. I do mean ALWAYS. Even my house shoes are black. So these funky looking sockies are as far from my norm as they can be. Yet, they rank high on my list of favorite things. A very thoughtful friend (who sometimes reads this blog) brought these to me as a hostess kind of gift when she and her husband came to our home. It was past Christmas and a gift was not expected by any means. But there she was with this little wrapped bundle. She told me that I would really enjoy wearing these, and she was so right! I can't wait to kick off my shoes or sneakers and pull on these fluffy things of delight. It doesn't matter that they don't match a single pair of P.J.s or any of my gowns. I wear them anyway. During this cold, cold winter of 2009-2010, they have warmed my feet night after night. I try to time their washing and drying so that they're ready to be worn in the evening. I've started wearing them with my regular house shoes to protect them from wearing out. Does that tell you how attached I am to these sockies?

Well there you have it...the funny and the sublime. I started with bling and ended with fuzzy socks. Reminds me a lot about how our very lives often are---a huge mix of the ordinary and the extraordinary. All these things are just that--things. Just about everything I've listed is a temporary pleasure that has a shelf life of sorts. Most of these things can and will either wear out, break, or even get lost. They might even be replaced in time by something I favor more. Fortunately, I know a source of pleasure that is everlasting, doesn't require batteries, can't be broken, and can't end up in the lost and found. It's our Lord and the relationship we can have with Him. Much more valuable than gold or silver or diamonds. Certainly more satisfying than any earthly treasure. Truly more delightful than anything we can experience on this side of eternity. And, praise His Name, He calls us His favorite things!

I John 3:1a..."How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"

The Mundane and the Miraculous

2010-03-04T18:34:00.003-06:00

Four days and counting towards my research into time relativity. I'm writing a post a day (a huge feat for someone with a life like mine) to carefully and intentionally mark the time. Supposedly, noticing details and being purposeful in celebrating them psychologically slows time down. Well, at least that's the theory!

Yesterday was primary election day in Texas. I'm not certain that this is a celebratory occasion--unless you were one of the winners-- but it did "mark" the day. Other things which set apart Wednesday, the 3rd of March, were much more personal and definitely funnier.

When you look at the two grandparently-looking folks in the photos below, you see two pretty average, everyday people, right? No one would necessarily guess that together, Russ and I have the best time every day of our lives. We flirt, laugh, and generally have fun together.

People walking past our house would swear that we're having a party because the laughter can get really loud. People seeing Russ at work at church would never guess that there's a lot of kissing and carrying on taking place almost all the time. Matter-of-fact, there are more "kissing" photos of Russ and me in albums and on the photo walls than any other kind. Russ will be good and embarrassed by this admission--but it's true.

So yesterday morning I was goofing around with Russ and asked him for a kiss and a "dip." What I had in mind was that Hollywood move where the guy boldly bends the girl back and plants a juicy kiss. It always looks like so much fun. Well, Russ took me into his arms and I relaxed and started to lean backwards in what I thought was a classic "dip" position. I hadn't given Russ time to brace himself and get ready for the big moment. He tried hard to hold on to me but he just couldn't keep his balance and his grip on me at the same time. Down I slid...fell actually, all the way to the floor. I had no time to be worried about what was happening because the fall happened so fast. I was flat on the ground in a heartbeat and laughing all the way down! I looked up from my vantage point of being flat on my back, to see a shocked Russ. His face was an absolutely hilarious study of "Oh my gosh, what did I do?"

We both burst into side-splitting laughter...me crumpled up on the floor and Russ leaning over me, trying to help me up. Oh to have had a video camera near by! We could have won the $10,000 on the "World's Funniest Video" hands down. Russ and I both laughed so hard that we had to make a bee-line for the bathroom--well that is, once I was able to stop laughing long enough to sit up and get up from the floor! The whole time, Russ was checking to see if I was all right and I couldn't answer him because I was laughing so hard. Even as I write this, I'm still laughing at the memory of my kiss and "dip."

Now I have to admit I'm sore today from my "dipping" experience, but I have a lovely and very funny moment to relive over and over. Russ and I have laughed as hard today as we did during the actual event. I think God is so good to us to give us these kinds of memories. The Lord definitely has a sense of humor Himself. My life is certainly evidence of that!

I still would like my kiss and "dip", but I think Russ may not be willing to try again. While I don't think my kissing days are over, I'm pretty certain that my "dipping" days may have expired!! Neither of us can imagine how we'd ever fill in the insurance claim forms after another thud to the ground.

Aren't we glad that God gives us lives filled with all kinds of emotions? We're sad sometimes, happy on other days. A life spent in grief and sorrow would be impossible. Yet spending ALL of one's time in laughter would be unreal. Praise the Lord for BALANCE---and yes, the pun is intended!!

Ecclesiastes 8:15..."So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun."

Oops! Maybe Easy isn't so Easy.

2010-03-03T22:20:00.004-06:00

My husband thought that I might have left an incorrect impression with yesterday's blog entry. After reading it again, I can see what he means. I sound like I'm someone with their act really together--working ahead to make sure life runs smoothly. While it is true that I do work hard at maintaining this sense of organization I have, it is also accurate to say that in my off moments, I can be as messy as the next person. Case in point: my at-home desk pictured above and immediately below. I never seem to have just one project going, but several at once. Whatever I'm working on always seems to involve files, resource books, note cards, etc. There are always stacks of files with which I'm working. Since I work on more than one project at the time, there are times when the books and stacks of accompanying papers are horribly messy. No matter how organized I try to be, there are times when function outweighs form. While I'm embarrassed to show anyone my messy side, I do so anyway to make sure that others can see that I have struggles with staying neat and organized...just like most people. I talk a big talk, but I don't always walk the walk, if you know what I mean.

Just to make sure you really get the picture, below is a photo of my prep space as I made bread today. I'll blog about that later. For now, just know that I try to keep the ingredients neatly arranged, but in my hurry to get things mixed and rising, I made a huge mess.

In my defense, I can say that some of my messiness comes from not having enough space. In both my at-home office and kitchen, counter or desk top space is very limited. But I have to admit that some of my lack of neatness is just being in a hurry to get things done. Rather than take time to put things back into file folders and then put those file folders away, I stack and stack...until the stacks fall over sometimes. In my heart of hearts I know that the clean up after several days of digging through files and researching material in several dozen books is usually much longer than putting up a few things along the way. What looks to be the easy way out at the time usually turns out to be harder and more time consuming in the long run. Ouch! It hurts to admit that truthhood outloud and in print. You know the adage: if you don't have time to do things right the first time, when will you have time to correct them?

Yesterday, I wrote that making things easier came from being prepared in advance and working harder in the present to guarantee an easier future. Yes, I wrote that on a computer sitting in the middle of a very messy desk. What was I thinking?

Easy is as easy does. Easy is consistently doing the right thing at the right time without excuses. Where our walk with the Lord is concerned, easy is making appropriate choices all along the way. It's more about OBEDIENCE and less about asking for forgiveness. Easy is being real all the time and seeking the Lord's leadership every step of the journey, not just in the good circumstances. I don't know about you, but I want easy to be my lifestyle and my heartstyle. Perhaps easy is spelled g-r-a-c-e. What do you think?

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10..."But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. Tht is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Easy Does It

2010-03-02T20:25:00.004-06:00

After using a stock photo of lillies last night, I knew that I had to download my camera and show off our Amaryllis. We have two bulbs "planted" in rocks and water which have bloomed their hearts out since right after Christmas. Russ and I found the bulbs in beautiful, tall vases on a clearance table at Lowe's for $5 a piece. We figured that the vases were worth the $5 expenditure. All we had to do was add 1/2 cup of water and put the bulbs in a sunny window. How easy is that?! Watching the Amaryllis grow has been such a delightful experience. I can't believe how much pleasure we've received just watching the bulbs give up their blooms.

Even the unopened buds are a work of art. The photos are actually the third set of blooms on these plants. We've done nothing, zero, zip, to enhance the bulbs. We've added a tiny bit of water when needed, but nothing else. Talk about the world's easiest growing project!

Russ and I are into easy things. Both with our work and with our families, things are complicated enough. We need some parts of our lives to fall into place and be simple.

I'm putting in a little extra work with several of my major projects so that my life is simpler in the future. I've made dozens of phone calls to reps from helping agencies trying to line up programs and in-services for the bi-monthly meetings of our San Antonio One by One Coordinators. By the end of the week, this chore will be accomplished and I'll breathe easier.

My work life is run by a careful list of projects and action plans. It takes some time and effort to make up these lists and charts and then keep them current. However, the pay-off is actually getting things done and not living by the seat of one's pants. A little difficulty early on usually translates into breathing easier down the line at a later date.

Other things which help me balance this wild life of mine include color coding my closet and keeping all my clothes ready to be packed at any time. This usually eliminates those last minute crazy rushes when I have to pack to go out of town. I just recently indexed my cookbooks with post-its marking the easiest recipes with the fewest ingredients. A little work on the beginning side of things and I won't have to search through a number of cookbooks to get to the one recipe I need. I've also been known to go directly to the net and look up a recipe with a quick search to cut to the chase quicker. And, one of the biggest, work-harder-now-and-enjoy-the-benefits-later ideas is to keep my pantry full with staples and groceries so that I can make almost any basic recipe.

I don't know if I can get my life to a place where it is as easy to manage as my lovely Amaryllis bulbs. However, I can do a multitude of things every day to make my life more organized. Just recently, in my Bible readings in Ezekiel, I found a verse that offers a simple outline for life. It's almost a check-list of sorts. What if we planned our lives around these words? Would we have a simpler recipe for success with the Lord?

Ezekiel 18:9..."He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Two Posts In a Roll...Unbelievable!

2010-03-01T22:54:00.010-06:00

It’s after 11:30 p.m. yet I won’t close down my computer without doing a blog post. I promised myself that I would count and mark my days and thereby make them seem to go by a little slower. Part of that process is to post something to Graceful Lives every day. I won’t know for a few weeks if my time relativity theory holds water or not. I think I’ll know within a few days if being diligent about writing pays the dividends I think it will. The lily picture above was just thrown in for today's post. None of my other photos would download tonight. Rather than not doing a post, I compromised with the nature photo that doesn't really relate as well to the post as I wanted it to. It is a lovely stock photo, though. After days of rain and cold, the lillies look amazing to me.

The photo was a minor attempt at being spontaneous--at doing something unplanned. Being spontaneous is not my most outstanding characteristic. There always seems to be rhyme or reason beyond most, if not all of my actions. Doing things “off the cuff” with an open heart and lots of enthusiasm and excitement is a stretch for me. Maybe I am indeed TOO stiff and predictable.

Something turning my daily quiet time upside down is a joint reading of the Bible that our church congregation was challenged to do. Our pastor encouraged us to read through the Bible in 90 days beginning January 1st. The test I face each morning is to read just the 12 allotted pages—no more and no less. My daily personal contest is to find spiritual meaning and application for my day in the 12 pages. There’s just something very intriguing about being held to a minimum or maximum. The rules person that I am just thrives with a deadline or set parameters! The same kind of challenge reappears each evening as I write a 100 word post for a website named appropriately, One Hundred Words. Again, the assignment is to write something of meaning in no more or no less than 100 words. The great trial as I write is to create a beginning, a middle, and an end that relates to my day’s experience or some topic which piques my interest.

Beginning and ending my day with boundaries such as the 12 pages of Bible reading limit, has proven to be exhilarating and inspiring. I’m getting more done in the time between the morning reading and the evening writing. The word which comes to my mind is again, intentionality. I am getting more done every day on purpose. Maybe my newfound industry is also coming from the fact that I am limiting my work day to certain time frames. I fill an 8-9 hour day, no more and no less. Yes, the challenge is working!

Psalm 37: 5-6…”Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.”

Proverbs 16:3…”Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

Matthew 6:26…”Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Tracking or Stopping Time?

2010-02-28T22:57:00.003-06:00

Photo above is my grandfather's watch and the photo below is my father's watch. Both men worked for the railroad, though 30+ years a part, where marking time was of utmost importance. I remember that our household ran by my dad's Bulova pocket watch. We were never late to church nor to school.

It’s now been more days than I want to think about since I’ve entered a post on Graceful Lives. I’ve made a fast trip to San Antonio and Kerrville and now I’m back home in Ft. Worth for two more weeks. I’m aware that I lived each 24 hour period. I ate, slept, worked, etc. Yet, I’m sitting here tonight in a daze with the words, “How did I get here?” forming on my lips. Do you ever feel that way? That life is happening all too quickly? Days, weeks, months, and years flying by with such speed that we can feel the wind whizzing in our ears? So fast and unstoppable?

Sundays mark my life by being the beginnings of each new week. Fifty-two days which sort of feel like New Year’s Day each week. Usually on my mind is the thought that maybe this is the week I’ll get caught up. Potentially during the next seven days I could finish a particular project or meet a specific goal on my list. The promise on most Sunday evenings is always that it could happen. For that reason and many others, I have always LOVED Sundays.

So, here I am again with a new week ahead of me. I don’t want the days to take wing and flutter by without my realization. Recently I read that as children we did not feel the whirling away of our time. Matter-of-fact, do you remember thinking that your birthday would never come? Christmas seemed light years away? Summer was an eternity long? It was the marking of important days, experts tell us, which gave us the sense that time was not moving as quickly as it is now. Today, as an adult, I’m not as mindful of major, important days. Holidays, vacations, celebratory occasions come and go without the marking of time I used to give them when I was younger. Therefore, my days melt into one another and 2009 roared by as quickly as 2008.

My potential “cure” for my flying time phenomena is to mark my days with more intentionality. While I’m positive that I won’t stop the quick passing of time, I might be able to slow down my spinning world long enough to at least think about and appreciate the 1,440 seconds of each day.

I promised myself no New Year’s Resolutions this year, and I dutifully obeyed my own edict. However, here at the end of February, I’m reneging a bit—well actually, just making a late promise—and vowing to do a couple of things to celebrate and mark each day.

Here’s the low down. I’ve already been reading 12 pages of my Bible daily and writing 100 words as part of a daily challenge. These two things have helped me to feel that I’m actually getting some things accomplished each day. These actions have powered my days, as it were, and I’ve felt more in touch with my time. Doing just these two things has helped me to feel just a tad of power over my fleeting life. What if I add writing a blog post EVERY day as well?

I realize that I spend too much time attempting to make my posts as perfect and well put together as possible. I cripple my own efforts with my concentration on posts being stellar. While I will not give up on trying to post something of consequence, I will endeavor to put aside my perfectionism. I’m as anxious as anyone to see if I can really do just that.

Is a blog post for the reader or for the writer? We’ll have to see how that comes out in the end. What readers I do have will have to decide. Defining and marking time…learning and sharing the lessons the Lord sends my way…let’s see how that turns out. Certainly this adventuresome journey has as much merit as working through a cookbook and blogging about it?

Isaiah 55:9-11…”As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

Making History and Learning Lessons

2010-02-13T16:56:00.011-06:00

February! Can it be the second month of 2010 already? I remember writing the last post and then life took over and I've not been able to get back to post something more current. I've already spent a two week work time in San Antonio, plus a few days of work in Memphis. I've been home just a week and I head back to San Antonio in two days. Such is life for now with One by One trying to survive the unsteadiness of the economy and also deal with huge opportunities for growth presented to us just since Christmas.

In the middle of my travels, Russ became ill and just this last week was diagnosed with double pneumonia. He's been off work for over a week, slowly recuperating. While he's been off, I've been trying to keep up with my work load and take care of him as well. I feel very guilty about being away from Russ so much. My remorse pushed me into a cooking frenzy. I've pulled out my cookbook more in the last four days than I have in all of 2008 and 2009. I've baked bread, muffins, cornbread, and a cake, plus cooked full meals with as many from scratch dishes as possible.

Good thing that I went to the store and filled my pantry for this kitchen marathon. For the last few days, as Russ has been home recovering (and eating!), we've been in the middle of the worst snow storm in our city's history. The snow started falling three mornings ago. It snowed steadily for over 14 hours. By the time the snow began to taper off, we had 12.7 inches on the ground.

Below is a shot when we were at about 5-6 inches on the ground. We are like kids when the tiny white flakes begin to fall. It's been our tradition to always capture our cars in the snow. Don't laugh. It's a Texas thing and a man thing, I believe.

Photo below: looking south down our street--at about 7-8 inches on the ground by this time.

Needless to say, this snow storm broke all previous records. Those of us who have grown up in Texas were both baffled and pleased by the amount of accumulated snow on the ground. We are used to getting a flurry or two of snow every other winter or so. We are NOTused to watching the beautiful powdery flakes fall for hours on end. Three days later we still have patches of snow on the ground, in the trees, and on some roof tops.

The photos below were taken from our kitchen window...sorry about the window screen showing; but, I wanted to try to capture the snow laden trees.

By the end of the first day of the snow storm, Russ and I had to get out and look at our winter wonderland. Russ had been stationed in Augsburg, Germany, when he was in the service and had experienced living with snow covered landscapes. This Texas girl has had little to no experience with the white stuff. I have never seen so much snow! I was amazed and awe-struck by the sight of blocks of nothing but glistening white stuff.

Right before we got outside, the weathermen were reporting 11+ inches on the ground. I've read various authors' descriptive phrases describing the sights and sounds surrounding a typical snow storm. But, I wasn't prepared for the muffled quiet which greeted Russ and me when we walked out our front door. As far as we could see, there was a deep blanket of pristine snow. Russ laughed and began to quote a part of Clement Moore's "Night Before Christmas" because it seemed so appropriate. The street lights reflecting off the snow made it look almost like day time.

When we walked on the grass, we sunk down into the snow up to our calves. Because everything was covered so solidly, Russ had to scout around and find our stepping stones and our sidewalk so we culd walk through the snow without falling and getting so wet. He carefully walked ahead of me and adeptly set a path for me to follow. I was so enthralled by the snow that I wasn't watching my steps very well. Russ warned me over and over to be careful and walk where he had walked so I'd be on more solid footing. It only took a slippery skid or two before I realized how right he was

Photo below is our side yard which butts up against the church's west parking lot; however, you can't tell where our yard and the parking begin and end because of the snow.

Photo below is the west side of our church which faces our house. Again, you can't tell where the grassy areas are and where the parking lot is located because of the snow.

We really enjoyed our snow "escapade", especially since we realized that this kind of thing won't happen very often in our neck of the woods. Even as I was changing out of my damp clothing and drying off my feet, I was thinking about what an obvious and outstanding lesson our evening outdoor adventure had been. Not being accustomed to dealing with so much snow, when I was outside I took off exploring without noticing that there could be some challenging situations if I wasn't careful. My more experienced exploration partner, Russ, was keenly aware that there was a safe way to walk, stay upright and enjoy the snow.

I can't help but note that our Father often tells and shows us the way to go to stay out of trouble, remain upright, and keep going in a way to safely enjoy our lives. It's always a choice whether we follow His leadership or not. How many sticky, troublesome challenges I've gotten into because I veered off the path or trail that the Lord had established for me. I still have the scars from some of the spiritual and emotional injuries I suffered because I wasn't watching where I should go. My prayer for you and for me is that we'll see the folly of our ways and pay closer attention to the safe trail set out for us by a loving and very wise Heavenly Father.

Deuteronomy 5: 32-22..."So be careful to do what the Lord your God has commanded you; do not turn aside to the right or to the left. Walk in all the way that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess."

Discovery of a Life Time

2010-01-20T21:15:00.006-06:00

TAPESTRY...CHOICE OR CONTROL? Now it's 20 days into 2010 and I wonder what about my life would have changed if I had made New Year's resolutions? Without a list I've actually finished a few things and have consistently worked on a few of my "must get done" projects. During this first part of the new decade, my heart has led me to pay more attention to what was going on around me and to learn the lessons the Lord seemed to be teaching me.

My last post about life being all about the choices we make seemed to hit home with others. I’ve had to make some interesting choices and decisions since that post—some serious ones and a few just everyday, run-of-the-mill ones. After writing about choices, I haven’t been able to just willy-nilly do things without thought lately. Even my garden variety decisions have been made with more intentionality. It’s evident that I can’t say the Lord is teaching me something, share the lesson in public, and then go about my business and not let it penetrate all the layers of my life.

Choices…determining a course of action…selecting a plan…settling on a conclusion about a decision—life is made up of these little and big moments. Because the Lord allows us to have a free will to make choices, we can get into real trouble when we take our decision making to mean we’re in control. I’m sitting here with all my fingers pointing back to me. I am a BIG control freak. Being out of control or giving control of a situation to someone else just kills me. You can ask my husband how I’ve battled the submissive issue. I think I have learned to submit (when I’m really prayed up!), but my sweet Russ might argue with you!

Control or having power or rule over one’s own destiny is that for which most human beings seem to fight. Isn’t that what freedom is all about? It’s been said that even a baby in the womb understands this issue and that it is his desire for freedom which begins the birthing process.

God’s Word often reminds me of my lack of real power over my own life. Sometimes circumstances at work or at home also bring me back to reality. And believe it or not, my scrapbooking even keeps me pretty humble both about who I am and who’s in charge. Gathering the evidence of a life and pasting it to pages in a book is a unique experience in discovering who that person is. It is also a learning experience for the person creating the book. Even the process of putting life event photos into chronological order can take a person smack up against the truth... our lives follow a life map that we did not set.

A case in point—the scrapbook I put together a few years ago for Russ. I loved doing this for him and there are pictures below so you can see where I went with its design. I generally name my scrapbooks and have a theme for them. Russ’ is called “Tapestry.” I looked at all different aspects of his life, both before our marriage and then our life together. What an intriguing journey it was when I put this book together.

When I made Russ' scrapbook, it was really easy to get caught up in the retelling of Russ’ life as witnessed by me, his wife. Every photo reminded me of how much I love this man and how dear he is to me. But, when I stepped back and saw the ebb and flow of his life…childhood, military service, our marriage, the births of our children, the loss of babies and other loved ones, career changes, Christmases, camping trips, possessions we bought and sold, homes in which we lived…I saw indeed a weaving of sorts. Many different threads carefully crafted to make a whole piece. I discovered all over that all these threads of Russ' life are in the hands of a faithful Father who has a master plan for the finished product: Russ’ very real life tapestry. While he has made some very good choices (like asking me to marry him!) and some not so good choices in his life (I don’t think it’s fair for me to tell these), Russ has never really been in control of either the threads of his life nor how those threads came together to form this crazy but wonderful life that is his.

That there IS a pattern and a lovely design to his life, should not be a surprise to either Russ or me. So much has happened in our 43 years of marriage, plus all that happened to him in the 23 years he lived before me—and Russ was NOT in charge of any of it. What a paradox of life…choices but no real control.

Tonight as I ponder these things, I find it strangely very calming and reassuring to be “out of control.” I choose tonight to trust the Lord with the threads in Russ’ life and with the scraps and pieces of my life. Life in God's hands is indeed the only way.

Psalm 139: 16 (Contemporary English Version)…”But with your own eyes you saw my body being formed. Even before I was born, you had written in your book everything I would do.”

Isaiah 41: 4 (Contemporary English Version)…”Who makes these things happen? Who controls human events? I do! I am the Lord. I was there at the beginning; I will be there at the end.”

Life's Choices

2010-01-12T21:49:00.003-06:00

The first days of this new decade have slipped by quickly, haven’t they? Thirteen days into a pristine New Year. I left sort of in mid thought on New Year’s Day, talking about lessons I’m learning and re-learning. I really love doing posts on decorating or crafts, but even with those, I catch myself these days looking for the deeper meaning in everything. Is it my age? Is it the weight of the New Year and the possibilities and responsibilities it brings? Or, is it just the part of my quirky personality that has to make sense of everything? If God is in the details, He is surely in the mundane AND the miraculous, right?

Speaking of the miraculous, take a gander at the photo collage below…

What do you think? Aren’t those the most precious babies you’ve ever seen? I am proud to say that these babies are some of our One by One babies. Their moms are being mentored by church volunteers in Texas and Tennessee, using the One by One Ministries materials I wrote in conjunction with a marvelous editor, Evelyn. I’m humbled by the way the Lord is using this ministry in the lives of mothers and in the lives of the volunteers who work with them.

It’s an incredible fact that these sweet babies and toddlers are alive today because their mothers chose LIFE for them. With abortions well within the affordable range of even a teenager’s budget, many women of every age are choosing a different route. A day out of school or work, a little discomfort and the problem is taken care of. Wrong! The problem is only multiplied a million times over. Praise the Lord that for the babies in the collage, a different choice was made. These moms made an intentional decision to let their baby live. In just a heartbeat, in a split second, someone’s choice made it possible for Beth to come into this world and find her destiny as a surgeon and for Liam to be born and fulfill his potential as an elementary teacher.

Every moment of every day, we make a hundred choices. Some are life altering like deciding to accept God’s gift of grace and asking Christ to be our Savior or saving a child’s life. Some are garden variety, very ordinary ones, like which outfit to wear, or whether to answer someone’s rude question or remark. Just yesterday I saw the statement, “We’re just one choice away from changing our entire life.”

And making choices is this most primary lesson I’m re-learning. I can typically make the big choices. Weighing the pros and cons and making lists of advantages and disadvantages are things I like to do. It’s those choices made in the moment that get me into trouble. Those decisions I make by the seat of my pants, often without thought. Someone asks about a mutual friend and I tell them everything I know about her, including every piece of gossip I’ve heard about her for the last two weeks. Someone pulls into my lane on a busy expressway and I honk or speed up and pass them. Russ makes a comment which I misunderstand, get my feelings hurt and immediately clam up and stop talking for hours. In each circumstance, I have choices to make that can end the situation with a good solution or can escalate the situation into a hot issue or even into an emergency, or hurt someone’s feelings or reputation. In these early days of 2010, I pray that I will re-learn the importance of every decision or choice I make. There really are few choices, even humdrum, everyday ones, with little or no consequence. If discretion is the better part of valor, then I need to be ever mindful of the intent of my words, my decisions, and my actions. This moment is all I can count on. I choose to spend it well! How about you?

Deuteronomy 30: 15-16 (Contemporary English Version)..."Today I’m giving you a choice. You can choose life and success or death and disaster. I am commanding you to be loyal to the Lord, to live the way He has told you, and to obey His laws and teachings. You are about to cross the Jordan River and take the land that He is giving you. If you obey Him, you will live and become successful and powerful."

Choices, Resolutions, and Hope

2010-01-01T08:12:00.003-06:00

Happy New Year! Last night we watched the glittery ball fall in Times Square in New York exactly at 12:00 a.m. Eastern Standard Time; we saw the fireworks at Victory Square in Dallas shoot off and fill the sky at exactly 12:00 a.m. Central Standard Time; and then we observed thousands of people in various time zones all around the world raise glasses of good cheer, toot horns and throw confetti…all on television, of course! And with all this hoopla and fanfare, we and the world welcomed the arrival of the year of our Lord, 2010 A.D.

Back in my neck of woods, Ft. Worth, Texas, right after midnight in Central Standard Time, I kissed a very sleepy Russ who was dozing on the sofa trying his hardest to stay awake and welcome the New Year with me. Earlier in the week, Russ and I had gone through the list of possible things to do on New Year’s Eve including: driving nearly 300 miles into San Antonio to stay at my apartment there; taking the train over to Dallas for the night for dinner and a movie; or having friends over for a small get together. As schedules, weather concerns, and late planning came to bear, we finally made a very conscious decision to stay home and have a quiet New Year’s Eve.

This was exactly the most perfect New Year’s Eve. In the late afternoon, Russ and I ran out to Target for a few “essentials” and thought we would grab some dinner while we were out. We found all the things on my grocery list and were preparing to leave the store when we went by the jewelry counter. I found the most beautiful sterling silver earrings with pearl drops (on sale, but still more than I ever spend on jewelry), which Russ promptly bought for me. Not a bad way to begin the New Year! When we got back into our car, we both decided at almost the same time that going home for a simple meal was a much better idea than fighting what could be large crowds at local restaurants. It must be our senior-citizen status, but we were very happy campers, getting home, putting up groceries and settling in for the evening. We watched a sad but meaningful movie, Grace is Gone; ate a simple but tasty supper on trays; and made jokes about how much we were showing our age because we really were enjoying a night at home. I even put on my new earrings with my P.J.s! Russ surprised me with a lovely and sentimental greeting card with the dearest hand-written message. Oh yes, it was a perfect evening! I didn’t even mind Russ going to sleep on the sofa in the middle of the midnight celebrations. I still felt like a queen as I looked over at the man who adores me and shows it every day.

Have you noticed that in all the discussion about New Year’s Eve, I’ve not said a word about resolutions? This is really strange for me—the person who is the world’s most devoted planner, strategist, list-maker and “resolver.” Among family, friends, and coworkers, my use of paper pads and now the computer, is almost legend. You need not fear, however. I have indeed made my list and will share it in the days ahead. Yes, I realize that if you’re a regular reader, you know that my posting several days in a row just doesn’t happen. This event is not in the miracle category, but close! It is part of my resolve to be more disciplined about writing more often…with Graceful Lives...with the book I’ve started a million times over...and, with the next phase of the One by One curriculum. But, I digress. For now—today—I’m focusing on my most important New Year’s resolution (made shortly after midnight last night) to make NO resolutions, plans, or choices without prayer and seeking the Lord. For weeks now through His Word, through the actions and words of those I respect and love, and through the spoken word of people the Christian world esteems and admires, the Lord has been working my heart over, with the culmination happening last night. I can’t wait to share some old truths I'm relearning, each with a new slant or viewpoint.

I pray that your 2010 began in just the way you hoped it would. Some of us began the New Year with great challenges, some with tremendous grief, and some with hardships none of us can comprehend. In whatever circumstances you find yourself today, I pray for you to have HOPE in this New Year. The Lord of the universe sits on His throne today, just as He did yesterday and just as He will do tomorrow. He can be trusted to be faithful to you and yours. He gives GRACE for the moment, for a lifetime, and for all eternity. He provides us with such grace-filled lives. He is indeed good and loving every day in every way. May you discover that anew today, the first day of 2010.

Psalm 16: 1-2, 5-6, 11 (Contemporary English Version)
1-2 “Protect me, Lord God! I run to you for safety, and I have said, ‘Only you are my Lord! Every good thing I have is a gift from you.’

5-6 “You, Lord, are all I want! You are my choice, and you keep me safe. You make my life pleasant, and my future is bright.

11 “You have shown me the path to life, and you make me glad by being near to me. Sitting at your right side, I will always be joyful.”

Christmas 2009---It's a Wrap!!!

2009-12-28T18:39:00.005-06:00

All good things do have to end, and our Christmas season is over—all but the photo exchanges and thank you notes. This year, more than any other, our celebration was very different, and it reflected our new lifestyle. In some ways it was the best Christmas ever. In other ways it was a reminder that times have changed and we’re in a new time and place in our lives and we’re not going back to the past. The photo at the start of this post is of Autumn's huge Christmas tree. It was so lovely, filled with her collection of ornaments. Many of her Christmas decorations were gifts from me. It was fun to visit my Santas. I collected Santas for years, with family, friends, and coworkers gifting me with them year after year. At Thanksgiving this year, I gifted them to our daughters. Laura (the oldest) and her younger sister, Autumn, decided that the Santas would move between them as they rotated the Christmas family celebration from one house to the other.

On the positive side of change, I stopped back in November to actually appreciate the fact that I do live in two different places with two different sets of friends and obligations. I’ve fought this for the two, nearly three years I’ve been spending half the month in San Antonio for work. Much to my chagrin, I realize now that I’ve really put my life on hold in some respects by denying that life for me is very unique these days. When I’m in San Antonio, I have usually NOT gone out much nor had folks over to my apartment. I wait until I’m home in Ft. Worth with Russ to be social. And, even when I’m home, I’m so glad to have my feet on my own territory and to have Russ to myself that I am not very willing to entertain. Just recently, I realized that since moving to our church apartment, we’ve not entertained hardly at all.

This Christmas, I did a little decorating in the San Antonio apartment and had two groups over—our One by One Coordinators and then our One by One staff. I baked and cooked and had a ball! I realized that the wreath on the door and the pretty, decorated dining room table made every day brighter. Just having plans and dates on the calendar that represented activities other than WORK was uplifting. I will definitely do this again.

Back home in Ft. Worth, we decorated late, but we did decorate and put up the tree. We did less than in past years, but we did get out the nativity sets and other seasonal goodies. It was interesting this year because not one of our children came home—we went to them for Christmas. We also didn’t have anyone over during the season because Russ’ schedule was so full and he was just exhausted each evening. But, you know what? For once it didn’t make me crazy to have worked so hard on decorating and not having anyone over. Russ and I enjoyed the tree and the decorations. I was really satisfied with how this happened. I think back now on how much planning and decorating that I’ve done just for others to see and enjoy. I know now that I will decorate whether it’s just Russ and me (or just even me in San Antonio). This has been a great lesson for me to learn, albeit I’m learning it late in life.

Our daughters are now in charge of Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations. I never thought this would happen this early, but our tiny apartment just isn’t comfortable for the crew, no matter how we try. Beginning last year, Laura and Autumn are taking turns doing each of the holidays. Both holiday get-togethers were absolutely perfect this year. It is with a glad heart that I can say I enjoyed both without too much guilt at not being the one who orchestrated the entire thing. I am a “bigger than life” holiday person and have always been in charge of making sure that everything was indeed as perfect as it could be. I’m positive that I’ve driven Russ and the family CRAZY over the years.

Autumn took on Christmas this year because she now has a townhouse large enough to accommodate all of us, at least for meals and activities. Some of the family stayed at a local motel at night to make sleeping and showering easier. But, we spent the days all together having such a fantastic time. We dubbed Autumn the "Princess of Christmas." She decorated her house from top to bottom; planned, shopped, and guided the preparation of all the meals we ate, including Christmas dinner; and, helped to keep us on target with activities and places to go. Laura took on the task of doing Christmas stockings for everyone and joined her sister in the kitchen for every meal prep and clean-up. What a joy to see these two very different personalities come together in the same kitchen, laughing and having fun together. Their closeness seems to grow as the years pass.

(Above, our great granddaughter, Lenzy Allyse)

Russ and I sat back and watched the action on Christmas Day as Autumn and Laura took over the kitchen and made everything happen. That meant that we could enjoy playing with our great granddaughter, Lenzy, as well as just rest and enjoy being with each other. At one point when things looked especially harried in the kitchen, I was very tempted to go in and help. However, good sense prevailed and I let the girls solve the dilemmas. I remember saying to Autumn, “Being the "Princess of Christmas" is a bit tiring, isn’t it?” She and I enjoyed a good laugh over that. Below is a photo of Autumn and Lenzy cooking our breakfast on Christmas morning. We felt that we were at the world's best Bed and Breakfast!

Laura planned the stockings so well that everyone received the grandest and most practical personal items, mostly purchased at discount and dollar stores. She took such pains to pick things for each person. The highlight of the day, after opening gifts, was a game Russ and I put together. We had purchased $25 gift cards from seven different sources—Dollar Tree, Visa, Sears, Old Navy, etc. I wrapped the gift cards in boxes and bags, some with other things included such as an antique book and a Christmas ornament. This was to weight the bags and throw off folks from guessing what was in each box or bag. Everyone got to choose their box or bag but no one was allowed to open them. We moved into a small circle, and while Russ read the “Night Before Christmas” Clement Moore poem, we moved the bags and boxes among ourselves. Every time Russ read the word “the”, we passed everything to the right. When he read the word “and”, we moved thing to the left. Russ read slowly so even Lenzy could play with us. We forgot when to move things, made many mistakes, but generally just had a ball doing this silly game. I would highly recommend this to anyone! We had all drawn names this year, so Russ and I didn’t spend what we usually do on gifts. We felt that we could spend the extra money on getting the gift cards. Once the poem was complete, everyone opened their bags and boxes. They all seemed pleased with what they received. One gift held a $50 Master Card gift card and the person getting that one was really happy.

("Hey, Mom and Lenzy, out of here!" Above, Laura and Russ preparing the stockings.)

All in all, we had a delightful time; but, it’s time to declare Christmas 2009 as being finished. Even though we decorated later than usual at the Ft. Worth apartment, we’re ready to get things organized and back into boxes. A few things will linger. I think I’ll leave the nativities in the china cabinet until Epiphany Sunday. And, a few things may find a permanent home in the apartment’s decorating scheme—my Fredericksburg angel (pictured in the December 22nd post) and my large, Lenox nativity (also pictured in the December 22nd post). I think I would like to be reminded often that God loves me so much, He sent His only Son to earth to save sinners such as me.

Yes, Christmas 2009 is a wrap. But, praise the Father, Easter’s on its way! The tiny baby in the manger is also the victorious Lord of Calvary. While I love every detail of the Christmas story, it is the harsh reality of what happened on that hill of pain and agony that bought healing, forgiveness, and salvation for you and me. As I ponder that thought, I realize all over again that Christmas is not really a “wrap”…it is only the beginning.

John 3:16…”For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Thank you, Lord!!

Ft. Worth Christmas 2009

2009-12-22T09:19:00.017-06:00

Merry Christmas from Ft. Worth, Texas! I know that it seems confusing to have Christmas in two places, but that is the reality of my life...living in Ft. Worth with my husband, but spending 1/2 my time in San Antonio working with One by One Ministries. This arrangement at least allows me to decorate two places for Christmas. See my last post for the San Antonio apartment's Christmas "look." Since we downsized 18 months ago, we live in less than 1,100 square feet in Ft. Worth. There's not much room for furniture, people, AND decorations. However, that being said, we've managed to put just enough Christmas spirit into our apartment to give it quite a seasonal appearance.

Below is a shot of our kitchen table with its Cracker Barrel finery. I fell in love with the cardials and thankfully, there was plenty of this line left after Christmas last year. I got some great bargains at 60-70% off some things I purchased. If you notice some similarity between a few pieces in the San Antonio and Ft. Worth decorations, it's because I packed up some things and took them with me for my early December work time in San Antonio. The cardials really made my San Antonio apartment feel more like home. The table runner was a fortunate find at Tuesday Morning--a $9.99 bargain! If you look carefully, you'll see cardials as well as poinsettias.

Photo above is our dining room table. I left the candlesticks which normally are there and just added greenery and the "Believe" sign. I picked up the sign at Big Lots months and months ago. It's lived its life in the closet until now. I think I will try to find a place for it to live in public after Christmas. It is made of cast iron and is almost too heavy to hang on the wall.

Below, this delightful angel was a vacation buy while we were in Fredericksburg, Texas. What a shopper's heaven is that little German town in the Texas Hill Country! The angel is carved from wood and her wings hang on a hook so that they move when the angel is touched or moved. I think I'd like to leave her out all year. What do you think?

All right, here's a test. What do you see in the photo below? A bookcase with books? Or, do you see the Christmas tree? I saw this idea on a decorator blog and copied it. The bookcase never looked neater! I think I'd like to leave this look all year. I keep my real library of personal books in my office at our church, where they kindly gave One by One some space. At home, I just have a few essentials for writing--dictionaries, Bible concordances, Thesaurus, Bibles of all kinds...and, oh yes, Russ' car, Star Trek, and motorcycle books. All together they make a jolly Christmas look, don't you agree? Worth the effort it took to put it together.

Below are some photos of nativities found around the apartment. The one immediately below is very tall and looks grand sitting on our Bombe' chest in our entry way. You can see more of our Christmas nativities and other decorations at the August 4th post. I was so wishing for Christmas back in August and now it's here. Be careful about what you wish for...I think I sped up my calendar too much with that wish.

Below is a shot of the soffit area in my kitchen. I love these bouquets because I made them for our older daughter's wedding nine years ago. She and Justin chose the weekend of New's Year for a beautiful Christmas themed event. The church was already beautifully decorated and we just had to do the arm bouquets. Since I used silk flowers, I saved two of the bouquets to use as part of my regular Christmas decorations. Every time I look at the bouquets I say a little thank you prayer for a Godly son-in-law who loves my daughter and grandchildren.

Christmas in Ft. Worth has been about more than just decorating. In just the short time I've been back home, we've served breakfast for Russ' staff (12 of them) plus the pastors and secretaries of our church (10+ of them). We served everyone in shifts in a Sunday School classroom because there were other activities in our regular dining rooms. Then just yesterday, Russ and I served an impromptude lunch to the same group at church. I made a hearty Italian-based bean/pasta/meat soup on Saturday that multiplied a million times over as I cooked it. It made a perfect lunch with some great bread we picked up at a specialty grocer. I also baked a big pan of bread pudding and made a vanilla sauce and viola, we had a meal worthy to be served to friends. Below are some photos of the breakfast...

All in all it's been a marvelous Christmas. I've even gotten some craft time in as I made 31 pin cushions out of the yo-yos one uses to make a quilt. I'll do a blog one day on these and offer a tutorial on how to make them. I've given these to One by One volunteers and special friends. Below is just one photo of them.

Here's a special offer. If you read this post and leave a comment, I'll send you one of my special pin cushions. How's that for a deal! Please leave an email address with your comment so I can contact you to get a mailing address. It would be my delight to get to do this for the readers of Graceful Lives. Many of you say you read my blog, but not many are leaving comments. So here's some motivation!

Well, I really need to close this post. You have to admit that this post contains a lot of variety! Something on it is bound to be of some interest to some one. Of interest to ALL of us, should be the reason for the Christmas season, the Lord Jesus Christ. Christmas does bring out the best in us...we are more willing to go the extra mile and do more to fix our homes so they are pretty. We are usually more bent towards entertaining and doing nice things for the ones with whom we work and share our lives. We will often take the time at this time of the year to sew or make something special for others---just because. And, we are usually more loving and kind even to our own husbands and children.

If Christmas makes us kinder, gentler, and more loving and service-oriented for a season, what could really happen to our lives if we let Jesus come in and change us from the inside out every day of the year? What difference could it make if we allowed Him to change us for all time, not just for a season? May you know the Christ of Christmas...not just the baby in the manger, but the Savior who was all God and all man...the Lord of all who was born to die for us.

Ephesians 3: 16-19..."God is wonderful and glorious. I pray that His Spirit will make you become strong followers and that Christ will live in your hearts because of your faith. Stand firm and be deeply rooted in His love. I pray that you and all of God's people will understand what is called wide or long or high or deep. I want you to know all about Christ's love, although it is too wonderful to be measured. Then your lives will be filled with all that God is."

My 2009 San Antonio Christmas

2009-12-18T07:07:00.014-06:00

What a joy is mine as I get to celebrate Christmas at several locations with different sets of relatives and friends! I thought I would share a little of my San Antonio Christmas which officially kicked off my holiday celebrations during the first two weeks of December. As most of my readers know, I actually live in north Texas in Ft. Worth, Texas; however, every month I travel almost 300 miles south to San Antonio for work sessions at the One by One Ministries Administrative Office. I rent a one bedroom apartment there and try to make life as normal as possible when away from home and Russ. If you've been reading this blog very much, you know how hard it is to be away from my most wonderful husband. I have been known to host some pretty sad pity parties. Much to Russ' credit, it is his constant encouragement that I make my San Antonio stays as pleasant and fun as I can. He challenges me to NOT put my life on hold when I'm away from him. With that in mind, he suggested that I decorate the San Antonio apartment and make it homey and inviting with a few Christmas decorations. He also encouraged me to host an event or two at the apartment to make the time spent decorating a worthwhile investment of time. So, welcome to my San Antonio pad. Come on in!

Hobby Lobby's wonderful 1/2 price sales allowed me to purchase the lovely Christmas wreath on my door--see photo above and below. Everyday coming home alone did not feel so bad with such a lovely sight to greet me. I've already started thinking about what I could put on the door when I have to go back to San Antonio in January. There's just something about being greeted with something cheery and pretty.

Inside, I used just a few pieces to bring a look of Christmas to the apartment. With a red sofa and green chair, my place already reflects Christmas. At last, my crazy decorating scheme for this apartment makes sense! Well, you can't call what I did to decorate this apartment a "scheme" of any kind. Talk about the truest meaning of the word, "evolve." The San Antonio apartment was furnished with cast-offs, garage sale stuff, and used furniture shop finds. The red and green coloration was purely accidentally...but it works for this time of year just perfectly.

I carefully packed and brought with me from Ft. Worth, my cardial stuff. Thanks to the great buyers at Cracker Barrel, I have a lovely coordinated set of teapots and other items to carry out a bit of a theme. Would you believe that I purchased all of this stuff at 40% and 50% off?

The nativity scene pictured above is another 50% off sale item. Hobby Lobby put these on sale just as they were setting up this year's Christmas merchandise. Russ and I were walking down an aisle and noticed the sales sign first and then this lovely, tall statue. The tall candlesticks are just the right accents to set this off. Don't look too hard at the background. There's evidence of the preparations for the get-together for a group of our One by One Coordinators. I forgot to move the punch pitcher. Good thing I don't earn a living as a photographer!

Even the bathroom got a little Christmas spirit. Fortunately, this bathroom has a large vanity area which allows for room for things like decorations plus regular bathroom necessities.

Now, for the very best "decorations" and Christmas trimmings of all...PEOPLE. Folks in our lives who are dear and wonderful and add so much to who we are. When the people we love are in our home, they make it lovely. They are not the accessories of life...they are the vital mainstays that make our lives possible. Below are some candid shots of a few of our San Antonio One by One Coordinators. Like their counterparts in Georgetown, Keller, and Kerrville, Texas, and in Memphis, Tennessee, these ladies work hard all year long to make life better for expectant and new mothers and their babies and extended families. These ladies are representative of the marvelous women who are part of our ministry. Each of them has a special story and/or reason for being a part of One by One. Coordinators make ministry possible within a local church. They recruit and manage the volunteer mentors and prayer partners necessary to make the One by One program go well in a church. Without Coordinators, there is no ministry. They are that important.

I had excitedly planned a couple of Christmas oriented games for the get-together at my apartment. One of the games involved guessing answers to questions based on Christmas songs and carols, both secular and Christian. It never occurred to me that there might be a generation gap with this activity. The younger ones kept remarking, "Say what?", while the more mature ones of us were busily humming and singing away. You can guess which group stayed on task and worked through to the end and which group started lively conversations about other things. Yet, we all had a very good time.

Eating at a Christmas party is always important! I asked the Coordinators to bring a favorite snack along with the recipe for it, if it was homemade. We had wonderful, wonderful food. Everyone is going to benefit from this, because I'm printing several of the recipes below. Each one is simple, but scrumptious!

CHILI CON QUESO

By: Lola McGann

1 sm. onion, diced 1 tub hot sausage

1 lb. lean hamburger 1--2 lb. box Velveeta

jalapeno peppers

Brown onions, hamburger and sausage together in a large skillet. Add as many jalapenos as you like, then cut Velveeta into 1/2 inch slices and make a layer over the top of the meat mixture. Cover and melt.

Note from Linda: This is delicious!! You could lower the hotness by using mild sausage or moderating how many peppers you add.

TOSTITOS BLACK BEAN DIP

By: Lynne Foulds

1 can black beans, rinsed and drained

1 can mandarin oranges, drained

1 red bell peper, seeded and chopped

1 bunch green onion--white and green parts chopped

1 fresh jalapeno or Serrano pepper, seeded and chopped

4 tablespoons chopped cilantro

2 tablespoons red wine vinegar (or more)

Combine all ingredients, mix gently. This is best when dip is made several hours in advance so flavors can blend. Stir ocasionally so vinegar can coat the vegetables. Amounts can easily be adjusted to personal taste preferences. I ahve found it is betterwith a small amount of salt added to the above ingredients. Serve with Tostitos chips.

Note from Linda: Great taste, a bit different with the oranges added...very low-fat...very good!!

FUDGE

By: Linda Petty

1 stick oleo (or even butter)

1 box powdered sugar

1/2 cup cocoa

1/4 cup milk

1/2 cup pecans (optional)

Melt butter/oleo in microwave, add powdered sugar, cocoa and milk. Stir a little (it will not be smooth). Micorwave on high for 2 minutes. Remove and stir well. Microwaveon high 25 more seconds, stir and add 1/2 cup chopped pecans if you like them, and 1 tablespoon vanilla.

Pour into a square pann lined with Saran Wrap (or a pie plate will do), refrigerate 30 minutes until set. Best to keep it in fridge.

Note from Linda H.: This is a very easy recipe that tastes just like what your mom used to make. Really good!

CHEESE BALL

By: Linda Hibner

2 --8 oz packages of cream cheese

1/2 cup black olives, chopped

1/2 cup green olives, chopped

1/2 cup mayonaise

1/3 to 1/2 package dry onion soup mix (according to your own preference)

1/2 to 3/4 cup finely chopped pecans (for coating outside of cheese ball)

Bring cream cheese to room temperature. Add all ingredients, except pecans. Mix well. Shape into ball and roll in chopped pecans. Wrap lightly in waxed paper and refrigerate until serving.

Options: add 1/3 cup chopped green pepper and follow rest of instructions as given.

add 1/2 cup shredded swiss OR cheddar cheese

Note from Linda: This is a very easy, but delious party food. It keeps for weeks in the fridge.

Well, there you have it--a very full blog post . There's bound to be something for everyone in this one! It's filled with decor, seasonal fun, a little about One by One (always my intent), photos of favorite people, and recipes. What more could you ask for? Oh, yes, of course...a wonderful scripture in which to wrap this and tie it together and add to our grace-filled lives. There is nothing as inspiring as the words of Mary in the book of Luke to inspire us at Christmas or anytime. Enjoy a few verses from Mary's song of praise, and see if these words don't also describe our own thanks. God bless you, my sweet friends.

Luke 1:46-50: "Mary said: 'With all my heart I praise the Lord, and I am glad because of God my Savior. God cares for me, His humble servant. From now on, all people will say God has blessed me. God All-Powerful has done great things for me, and His name is holy. He always shows mercy to everyone who worships Him.'"

Christmas Bargains and Bliss

2009-12-14T07:26:00.006-06:00

Thanks for sticking with me through the story about our grandson's battle with leukemia and how God helped us through this time (Sunday, December 6 post). I hope after hearing our true story of a nurse named Mercy you came away believing even more in the Lord's great grace and mercy. I truly believe that His interest in our lives follows us through all parts of our lives--big and little events...life changing and radical happenings as well as the everyday and the ordinary.

Now, with the same idea in mind but on a lighter note, let me share with you my recent antique mall experience. I drove out to Keller, Texas, one of the many bedroom burgs in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area, to meet with one of our One by One church Coordinators. Being the mother of five, this precious lady maintains a breakneck schedule. Long story short, she forgot our morning meeting and there I was, near this adorable antique mall with a little time on my hands. As you know from reading this blog, I don't ever have extra time. I normally squeeze meaningful activity and work into every waking moment. But, for some reason on this particular day, it didn't take much to convince myself that the extra time was a gift that could and should be spent in the pursuit of doing something different!

I rarely spend time shopping for much of anything but groceries. Typically, I am NOT a shopper. However, with Christmas around the corner, I decided to take my newly found time (and a little cash in my pocket) to find what unique things I could at this antique mall. In particular, I was looking for small gifts to fill a basket for our great granddaughter, Lenzy. For the last couple of years, I've put together a basket of 25 small gifts for Lenzy to open each day before Christmas. This started originally as a way to keep Lenzy from being so overwhelmed on Christmas morning opening too many gifts at once. Now, it has become part of Lenzy's Christmas anticipation and celebration. As I've filled her basket before, I included things to decorate her room for Christmas. I do this with the hope that I'm starting Lenzy's own collection of Christmas decorations which she'll take with her when she's grown. My one request of my daughter, Laura, with whom Lenzy lives, is that they tie the daily gifts into something meaningful for Lenzy. Sometimes Lenzy has a special task to do for another member of the family or a Bible verse to learn before she opens her daily gifts.This little December ritual gives Lenzy a treat to which to look forward each day. It has also helped to build a new tradition that belongs just to Lenzy. The Dollar Tree, Wal-Mart and my sewing and craft boxes are usually my suppliers of these daily treats. However, on my trip to the Antique Mall, I found that I had a different source of small treats as I explored the aisles of this new found paradise.

The snowman pictured earlier in this post, plus the snowmen in the photo below, were just a few of my "finds" on this shopping adventure. I discovered several of the most delightful booths where everything on a particular table or in a particular box was just a dollar or two. It didn't take me long to see a theme developing for Lenzy's bedroom this year as I found plenty of snowmen ornaments and decorations.

Then, pushing my cart through the mall, I rounded a corner and practically ran into a booth with a huge antique baby bed sitting on a table right in the front. Inside this lovely old piece were plastic bags filled with all kinds of Christmas decorations and ornaments. Each grab bag was filled to the brim and had price tags of $1.00 to $3.00 on them. The objects in the bags looked like things rescued from gargage and yard sales, all sorted and bagged for a quick sale. I had an absolutely delightful time handling each and every one of the 75+ bags. I picked out 10 bags which held just the best assortment of Christmas items...small ornaments for small table-top trees...handmade quilted hearts, and other novelty items. I really felt like a kid playing in a toy store! The photo below is a compilation of just some of the goodies coming out of my bags of treasures.

As you can see, in addition to the handmade items there were brand-new things still in their original packaging. What finds! You can tell what a happy camper I was then and still am as I talk about my shopping adventure. I wished then and now that the operators of the booths I visited knew how much pleasure their wares had given me.

But wait! The treasure hunt wasn't over. Walking past a small cubby-hole of a booth, I spotted an old, worn box with six silver-plated spoons resting in its satin lined interior. I love collecting silver teaspoons and tablespoons of all patterns. Once polished, even the most dinged spoon can have another life in my kitchen. Imagine my thrill and surprise when I spotted the tag--$12.95. With a slight quiver in my hand, I picked up the box, put it in my cart, and quietly sang "Merry Christmas to Me! Merry Christmas to Me!" all the way to the check-out stand.

As strange as it sounds, the greatest pleasure I had that day was knowing how little my antique mall purchases had cost. Wrapping the things for Lenzy was pure joy as I thought about how the little time and money I spent that day were multiplied over and over. Laura reports often how much fun Lenzy is having opening her daily small gifts. While there were also pajamas and other practical things in the basket, Lenzy's favs have been the snowmen and Christmas ornaments. Such a tiny investment has brought so much fun and pleasure to both Lenzy and me.

Conclusion: Does God care that we have small, simple pleasures in our lives? I truly believe He does. I know for certain that He is involved in the lives of His children in the ordinary and the extraordinary. I think that a grace-ful life is one lived with an attitude of gratitude which includes seeing God's hand in His daily provision of all we need and even sometimes in the provision of things we didn't know we needed. God loves us...what a wonderous thought in these days before Christmas.
Psalm 100:5 "The Lord is good! His love and faithfulness will last forever."

A Different Kind of Post

2009-12-06T20:31:00.005-06:00

While hundreds of our days go by with little or no fanfare, there are for most of us times which are burned into our memory banks. Those periods in our lives which stay deeply imbedded in our memory, and in a flash we are able to pull up those particular days and remember every vivid detail. Some of us are old enough to remember exactly where we were and what we were doing when we heard the news in 1963 that President Kennedy had been assassinated. More of us recollect exactly where we were and what we were doing on the morning of September 11, 2001. On these occasions, life seems to have stood still for a short while as we waited to see if the world would end then and there. Or, if God would grant us mercy and allow for our world to adjust, or to right itself and get back to normal. For our family, Sunday, December 6, 1992, is our day of infamy. All of our immediate family can tell you exactly where we were and what we were doing when our life in the "normal lane" ended. I’m warning you now that this post is a bit longer than most of my typical ones, but I hope you’ll read to the end.

In 1992, we were living in Austin, Texas, and Russ and I both served on staff at two different Baptist churches. Russ was the music minister at a small church in a little town outside of Austin, while I directed the preschool and child development center of a good size church in South Austin. In retrospect, I remember our life in Austin before December 6th, as being almost ideal. Our oldest daughter, Laura, and her first husband, Paul, also lived in Austin at the time, which meant that our two grandchildren were close by for wonderful play dates and Nana and Papa weekends.

Not long before Thanksgiving in 1992, our youngest grandchild, Quinn, 2 ½ years, developed a viral infection in his hip. While this seemed really bazaar to us, Quinn’s doctor thought it was nothing out of the ordinary. Quinn seemed to respond well to the treatment the doctor prescribed and we went on our way to what would be our last typical Thanksgiving for a very long time. Russ and I thought things were going well with our family and were a little put out by Laura’s constant harping about Quinn just not getting over the viral infection like he should. Since he looked healthy to us, we got a bit annoyed with Laura. Matter-of-fact, on our family video from Thanksgiving Day, we have a taped brief conversation between Russ and Laura. On the tape, Russ very clearly tells Laura that she should stop being so paranoid and let Quinn be an ordinary toddler.

Just two Saturdays past that Thanksgiving, Laura and Paul ended up taking Quinn to the emergency room with a low grade temperature, swollen lymph glands in his neck, and tiny little red dots all over his legs, chest, and arms. Russ and I stayed home to take care of Quinn’s older sister, Ahna-Allyse, four years old, still believing that Laura was being too cautious. When we last saw him, Quinn had looked robust and rosy-cheeked earlier, ready to get down and play. Even when the hospital kept Quinn overnight for observation and further tests, Russ and I were still feeling confident that Quinn was fine and Laura needed to get a grip.

Early on Sunday morning, December 6th, I began to feel just a little apprehensive, yet still not overly worried. Russ’ church was celebrating the Hanging of the Greens that Sunday night, the first ever celebration of Advent for the church. He and I had been up until late that Saturday night, preparing banners and boughs of greenery. Russ and I decided that we should go by the children’s hospital since it was on the way to the church. Russ just dropped me off because he was still feeling that things were fine and that he would later end up picking me up at Laura’s house after Quinn was dismissed.

It’s weird now to think back on how calm Russ and I were for those minutes before I walked into the hospital. I even took bolts of white ribbon, wire, and scissors with me in a bag so I could finish making pew bows. “Might as well use my time while we’re waiting to go home,” is what I said to Russ as he dropped me off. Our life in the normal lane was quickly ticking away.

When I got to Quinn’s room, I was greeted by a very worried looking Laura and an ashen-faced little toddler, who was obviously gravely ill. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a child go downhill as quickly as Quinn had. He looked totally different than he had just the day before. Paul had gone home to take a fast shower and bring Laura clean clothes, so Laura was alone tending to Quinn. I can still remember the overwhelming rush of emotions as I entered the room and immediately realized how wrong Russ and I had been about Quinn’s condition.

Just as I took a breath to say something to Laura, a stoney-faced man in a white lab coat briskly walked in and began to talk in quick, short sentences. Without a prelude of any kind, the man, who was Quinn’s attending physician since Quinn’s doctor was out of town on this day, began telling us that Quinn’s symptoms and his last blood tests revealed that Quinn had leukemia. While they didn’t know yet what kind of leukemia Quinn had , they did know that he was one very sick baby. Today, in retrospect, all I can remember was how brusque, curt, and rude the doctor was. I realized immediately that this doctor would have given Laura this hurtful diagnosis even if I had not been there and she had been alone.

At that very moment, I knew the enormity of the situation. I was holding onto the sides of Quinn's steel hospital bed thinking that if I let go of the bed, I would fall down right where I was since my knees were shaking so bad. I remember how the cold steel side rail became almost hot to the touch due to my hard grip on it.

The next minutes were a blur as the reality of the leukemia diagnosis settled in. When I shook myself out of the shock stupor, I realized that there was almost manic activity all around me. The door to Quinn’s room had been closed, an isolation sign posted, and Laura and I were helped into haz-mat paper hospital gowns plus surgical masks, caps, and shoe covers. I remember thinking that everything had a dream-like, surreal atmosphere, like a sci-fi movie...lots of activity but all players moving in very slow motion. Absolutely nothing felt real until I looked over at Quinn who was still and quiet, very unlike the two year old behavior he normally exhibited.

Laura and I prayed together over Quinn and began to figure out how to call and alert the rest of the family. People from our two churches came by after the morning services, and there were small groups praying outside Quinn’s room all day. Because Quinn was so critical, only immediate family members were allowed in his room, and only one or two of us at a time. It felt rather lonely and frightening to be in that hospital room that day.

From noon until late evening, a rather large nurse with a heavy Jamaican accent was in and out of Quinn’s room over and over. It took me a while to notice that whenever she came into the room, all masked and robed, she made sure that she came to Laura and me and touched us and explained in detail what was going on. She always gave us encouraging words. Late in the afternoon, she whispered to me, "I'm a believer. I am praying for you." Her very presence in the room brought both Laura and me calmness and a sense of peace all through that difficult day.

While I remember stopping to pray and thank the Lord for sending us a Christian nurse, we were so tied up with everything going on around us, neither Laura nor I thought to ask the nurse’s name. The Jamaican nurse worked late into the evening and continued to be our constant help. I dubbed her our angel and truly felt that the Lord was reassuring us of His presence with every word, touch, and hug from this precious nurse.

What I remember most about that Sunday was wondering how to pray. I was almost too afraid to pray for God’s will to be done. What if His will included the end of Quinn’s life? I was also not sure how to pray yet for a cure. So, in my pain, I just prayed for mercy. For, on that December 6th, my heart was broken. I trusted the Lord, but was also very aware that we had some very rough waters ahead to navigate as a family.

Even very, very grimy, horrible, and indescribable bad days have to end. At close to the end of that very terrible Sunday, we saw our sweet angel nurse several more times; and then she was off duty. That December 6th was to be the first of a long series of days filled with high anxiety and tremendous stress. Quinn eventually made it through a three year protocol of chemical therapy that put him at death’s doors more than once. For three years I prayed for Quinn and mostly I asked the Lord for mercy...”Please, Lord, be merciful and don’t let Quinn hurt and suffer.” “Oh God, please give our family mercy…your grace…your unmerited favor.” I got to where I started praying as I went to bed each night with the word “mercy” on my lips and got up the next morning still saying, “Lord, please grant us mercy.”

At long last, in December of 1995, Quinn went off treatment and we planned a huge party at Russ’ church. The Off Treatment Party is a traditionally big event for children with cancers. It is usually a great time to look back and be grateful for what has happened. It is also a time to gain a little perspective so that the child and his family can move on to the future.

We invited all of Quinn’s doctors and nurses. There was one nurse that I especially wanted to invite to the party and that was our Jamaican nurse, our angel. When Laura tried to locate her, she discovered that this nurse had taken a job at another hospital and had moved away not long after December 6, 1992. We also found out that this nurse had always worked on another floor and was an emergency substitute only in the Pediatric wing the day Quinn was diagnosed. We all got goose bumps as Laura told us that this nurse never worked in the Pediatric wing again. I remember my hands shaking as I thought about how God had provided this precious nurse just for us on the worse day of our lives. We were all aware that God’s provision of this nurse on this particular day in 1992, was indeed God at work just for our family!

Laura said later that since the nurse had moved, she had totally forgotten to share with me the nurse’s name until the day of our party. You can imagine my surprise and astonishment when Laura told me that the nurse’s name was Mercy! Honest to goodness—MERCY.

Whatever anyone wants to believe, God orchestrated every detail of December 6, 1992, just for us. He very carefully led us through and provided His very presence through a nurse who had never worked in that Pediactric wing before and would never work in that wing again. For her actual name to be Mercy is just unbelievable.

Quinn is now 19, tall, lanky and healthy. He is a recent high school graduate getting ready to start college in January. We have never heard anything else about nurse Mercy, but I pray that the Lord blesses her richly both on this side of eternity and the next.

Thank you for sharing our December 6th anniversary with us. God is good every day in every way! What a Savior! He is worthy of our praise.

Lamentations 3: 21-24…”Then I remembered something that fills me with hope. The Lord’s kindness never fails! If He had not been merciful, we would have been destroyed. The Lord can always be trusted to show mercy each morning. Deep in my heart I say, ‘The Lord is all I need; I can depend on Him.’”

Tired But Thankful...

2009-11-22T17:19:00.003-06:00

How can it be Sunday again? I know that I lived through the 24 hour periods which marked each of the seven days in this last week. My calendar, my phone, and my computer inform me that at least 168 hours have passed since last Sunday. Yet, it all passed so quickly that I feel like I’m looking back at all that transformed and this period of time feels almost unreal…almost like a DVD stuck on fast forward.

I finished three or four days’ worth of work on Monday and then hurriedly packed for a three day trip to Memphis, Tennessee. One by One Ministries has four churches in Memphis with trained mentors who are working with almost 20 families who are expecting a baby or just had a baby. For almost two years, we’ve been working with churches, pregnancy care centers, and other agencies in determining how One by One can be part of the solution to Memphis’ huge problem with teen pregnancy and infant mortality.

It was an amazing three days as our Executive Director, Camille, and I had five meetings on Wednesday and three on Thursday. We made outstanding connections with some of the brightest, godliest, and most diverse women. We found support for our ministry in very unlikely places such as the Valero Corporation. They recently gave us a $10,000 grant for our Memphis work. But praise the Lord, there is more. The young Valero executive who we just met, is a believer and wants to see One by One used in many churches to reach the inner city of Memphis where the problems of teen pregnancy and infant mortality are now legend. In a beautiful, single, young African-American business executive, we found a champion for our ministry. Then we met with a group of both men and women who represented some of the shakers and movers of the community. Each one pledged their support in getting One by One well established in the Memphis community. While the days were full to overflowing with meetings and appointments from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., we went back to our hotel rooms each evening absolutely ecstatic.

I don’t ever mean to doubt the Lord and what He is capable of achieving in our behalf. However, I had to wonder what we were doing just two years ago when one of our funders asked us to investigate the possibility of working with just one agency in Memphis. We are a young non-profit having just opened our Texas office in 2005. How could we reach out to another state? The bigger question to me seemed to be, should we do this? Why couldn’t Tennessee take care of its own? What I didn't realize back then was that God had a plan to bless Memphis and One by One Ministries at the same time. From the very first exploratory trip to Memphis, we found a city very aware of its problems and very ready to find solutions to its biggest challenges. Yes, Memphis is a city with a very hurtful past fueled by deep racial division. But it is also a city in the middle of a massive spiritual revival. One by One Ministries is right smack dab in the inner hub of the revival.

As big as getting the $10,000 is to us, there is more news that really tells the story of what God is doing in Memphis and with One by One. Lives are being changed as the transforming grace of Jesus is shared with expectant and new moms and their families. Just recently, two young mothers have become Christians. We found out while in Memphis last week, that one participant mother who had left the program in the spring because her two month baby had died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, re-entered the program this month. She’s pregnant again and specifically requested a One by One mentor. God is moving!!

I am still tired after all it took to make this last week possible; but my heart is about to burst with excitement and thanksgiving for all that the Lord is doing through One by One Ministries in both Texas and Memphis. We worship a great and awesome God! I keep being reminded that we really do not grasp how far and wide our Father’s love is, nor how fantastic His plans are. I hope that you are finding the same thing true in your own life. As you look ahead to Thursday and a day of Thanksgiving, I hope that you’ll also have a list of gigantic blessings for which you are grateful. We definitely should be grateful for all the little things the Lord does for us daily. And, we absolutely need to be anticipating His grace to come to us in mammoth proportions. Our grace-full lives are always bigger, deeper, fuller, and more wonderful than we ever imagined. God is good every day in every way!!

I Corinthians 2: 9…”What God has planned for people who love Him is more than eyes have seen or ears have heard. It has never even entered our minds!”

A Grab Bag of the Ordinary and Extraordinary

2009-11-15T19:07:00.018-06:00

I've been home two weeks and boy have I enjoyed being here. Waking up in my own bed, putting my toes down on the floor and knowing that I'm home...these are marvelous things in my life. When I got home on November 1st, I looked at my calendar and realized again that in 7 1/2 weeks, I had only spent two nights at home. One night was right before leaving for my last Memphis trip that actually started our vacation. The other one was as our vacation was ending and we were on our way to spend a day or two in San Antonio at my apartment there.

So, every day I've taken great delight in the things that seem so ordinary to most folks, like bringing Russ his coffee in the morning and reading the Ft. Worth paper. I've even had a good time cleaning out my closet and getting caught up with the laundry. It doesn't take much to make me really happy when I'm home! I've continued to work at least 10 hours each day, but it's just different when I can walk just a few feet and be in my "office." Russ likes my being home and I love his several-times-a- day calls. Since we live across the street from the church where he works, he comes home for lunch. What a treat to sit across the table and share a sandwich with him. I don't mean to complain, but eating lots of meals by myself when I'm on the road or in San Antonio has no appeal. One of our daughters came to visit and yes, I baked a pie and cooked a roast as I mentioned I was going to do in my last post. I even did home-made mashed potatoes and deviled eggs for them.

Since I've been home, I've accomplished a number of things. I was the "ghost" writer of our major Christmas fundraiser letter for One by One. By the time we finished with this project, I was very proud of the piece that was mailed. Then, I "story-boarded" the training module I use to prepare our One by One mentors and coordinators. I was really out of my comfort zone, but I felt good about having this accomplished and turned in. I even did an Informational Meeting for our brain new One by One church in Georgetown. On the fun side, I completed a big part of my Christmas shopping--well, at least I've shopped for Lenzy, our four year old great granddaughter. That was pure fun and joy!

And, oh yes, I've harvested the fall crops. That's meant to be funny. We have four patio containers of tomato plants and these plants are just blooming their hearts out. Russ purchased these for two bucks a container because it was the end of the season. We are enjoying having tomatoes to slice and put in salads and on sandwiches. It fills my heart with agricultural pride when I see the little green orbs sitting on my window sill turning various shades of pink and then finally bright red. Then, the neighbor's pecan trees whose branches hang over our back yard, have been dropping a bountiful crop of pecans. In Texas, pecan season in the fall is big stuff. I got caught up in searching for and picking up these thin-shelled nuts. Every day when I take our dog, NIcholas, outside, I've taken a plastic bag outside with me to "harvest" the latest batch of pecans.

While the tomatoes are tasty and just grand, the pecans are a great disappointment. We had such a dry spring and fall here in Ft. Worth that the meat of the pecans is just not what it should be. I spent several hours, cracking and picking out pecans before I finally conceded that the nuts were just not very good this year and not worth my work and efforts. We went to Sam's Club and I bought a large bag of shelled pecans for a little less than $10.00 and they are perfect. All my hours of picking out pecans, ruining a couple of nails, and making a mess in the kitchen netted out a bag of mealy pecan pieces that will need to be roasted before they will taste good in cookies. Somehow with this fall crop, I got caught up in some false economy. At least for this year, it is cheaper to buy good pecans than gathering and processing the homegrown ones.

We bought a new comforter and bed linens back in early October. Russ has been waiting for me to be home to use the new finery. We finally got everything out of the container and onto the bed. There are two different sets of pillow shams and six throw pillows in the set. We had been looking for a long while for something attractive but a bit masculine. This set is teal and brown with stripes. Russ helped pick it out and likes it, though he complains about all the "decorations" as he calls the fru-fru pillows. I feel like I have a new bedroom. When I'm out of town, I promise you that those pillows will live their lives stacked in my closet!

At long last, I've been home long enough to put out a few fall things. I usually decorate in a big way the very first part of September and enjoy the floral arrangements, new shelf arrangements and door wreaths all the way through to Thanksgiving. I generally change out things all over the house, including getting out candles with a spicy, outdoorsy smell for this time of the year. We're just grateful to have the few things out that we do. They'll come down the week of Thanksgiving since we're going to our older daughter's house for Thanksgiving. I'll have Christmas unpacked and up before Thanksgiving. I'm going to San Antonio the weekend right after Thanksgiving so I know that I'll not get Christmas decorations put up until later in December. Hardly worth doing decorating if you don't do it early, right?

So my time at home goes flying by. Every day seems like a blessing, like a gift. The ordinary, everyday things are thrilling because God is in the details. The spectacular things of my life are even more delightful because God is in those things as well. When you weave all of this together, the resulting product is my life, plain and simple and wonderful beyond comprehension.

Lamentatons 3:21-24 "Then I remembered something that fills me with hope. the Lord's kindness never fails! If He had not been merciful, we would have been destroyed. The Lord can always be trusted to show mercy each morning. Deep in my heart I say, 'The Lord is all I need; I can depend on Him!' ''

TIME...My Enemy...My Friend

2009-11-06T09:07:00.009-06:00

Russ and I collect clocks…all kinds of clocks as you can tell from the photos in this post. Our obsession with time devices began decades ago with one lovely and expensive mantel clock we purchased at an antique shop. We put this all wood, Westminster chiming clock in lay-away and faithfully made weekly payments until, at last, we happily wrote the final check. Then the beauty was finally ours to take home. I can still remember 30 years hence, the feeling of elation knowing that we owned such an exquisite piece. This clock is still the centerpiece of our collection and one of our most prized possessions. It is one of the things that gets unpacked and put into place first when we move. It would be a close call to say which I would grab in a fire, the family photo albums or this clock. Of course I’d grab the albums, but I would try with all my might to also pick up the mantel clock on my way out of the house!

Following fast behind the mantel clock in popularity with Russ and me is our large grandfather clock, carved out of oak and containing Westminster chimes. It stands tall with a set of attractive gold weights and a pendulum and is the show piece of any room in which it resides. This clock has a magnificent quarter hour chime that gives just a hint of the melodious sound that will erupt from it on the hour. My, oh my, but we love those two clocks. We have over 50 other clocks, classic mantel, wall hung, standing, and tabletop lovelies. Some are expensive, but most of them are relatively inexpensive knock-offs or reproductions. When placed in groupings, our clocks are lovely to behold and each one seems to have some sentimental value to us.

Friends and family have gifted us through the years with clocks that chime, sing, chirp, rock, and talk. At the top of each hour, you really don’t want to be on the phone in the hallway of our apartment. The sound of all the time pieces going off is quite impressive and LOUD. We personally love the top of the hour!

Some say that our collections reveal a lot about who we are and what we are like. I would have to say that this is true where the clocks are concerned. I especially am intrigued with time--how it’s calculated, managed, planned, and spent. My library of time management books is large and I’ve written and taught many conferences on the subject. My fascination with time is very much about how we schedule it and fill it up with things to do. You won’t be surprised that I own many different organizers/day planners. I have one on my desk at home in Ft. Worth, one on the table in my apartment in San Antonio, a thin-line one in my purse, and of course, one for my car.

With all this emphasis on time, you would think that I was a master at managing my own. Intrigue with or a passionate interest in a subject doesn’t necessarily translate into expertise. I AM a master at setting unreal expectations and goals for the use of my time and at filling as many of my waking hours as I can with stuff to do. Yet, as one who has lived six decades should already know, goal setting and time filling do not always make us the most productive, effective, or efficient person around.

Yesterday I worked at my computer with my One by One Ministries deadlines for almost 12 hours. At the end of the day, I still had unfinished chores and had not gotten to half of the things on the to-do list. I was so tired at the end of the day that I was almost depressed. I certainly wasn’t good company. My daughter and grandchildren, here for a quick two day visit, were left on their own for most of the day while I worked. Shame on me is all I can say. While I had had a wonderful quiet time yesterday morning, both reading the Word and spending time in prayer, I left the Lord’s leadership there and didn't take it with me into my day. I made my own plans for the day and look where they got me. Nowhere.

I am struck today by the truth of God’s Word.
Psalm 139: 16 “But with your eyes you saw my body being formed. Even before I was born, you had written in your book everything I would do.”

My life has been laid out and strategized by the One who created me. How awesome a thought! How convicting an idea! When I put myself in a contest or race with every clanging, ringing, or chiming time-keeping instrument in my house to see how much I can push or shove into every moment, there is not much room left for the divine plans already made for me. My continual battle with time is mostly with arbitrary deadlines I’ve set or allowed others to set for me without any consultation with the Timeless, Eternal Rock of Ages. You would think I would learn this lesson and move on to the other things God has for me to learn. But, oh no, I’ve got to get clobbered again by my own inadequacies and my failures before I realize again the tremendous truth of the scriptures. My life is in the Father’s hands. I can do things His way and succeed at managing my time well and get accomplished the life goals He has set for me. Or, I can do things my way and dread the end of the day with unmet deadlines, unfinished goals, and unfulfilled potential and promise.

That seems like a no-brainer! So, today I'm consulting the Lord for His best plan for my schedule for this day. I’m slowing down the pace, enjoying my family, serving the Lord, and cooking a roast and baking a pie. And, of course, I’ll also get some One by One work done—but just the work the Lord gives me for today. That’s enough for anyone’s 24 hour day. Praise Him!

Psalm 90: 12—14 “Teach us to use wisely all the time we have. Help us, Lord! Don’t wait! Pity your servants. When morning comes, let your love satisfy all our needs. Then we can celebrate and be glad for what time we have left."

This and That and Whatever

2009-11-04T20:41:00.002-06:00

Yes, I’m still alive and kicking. Though some time has passed between my last entry and this one, I’ve thought about those of you who send me comments to my personal email or call me and tell me you are reading the blog. I’m always surprised that someone doesn’t say, “Hang up or stop reading emails and go write a post!”

One of the blogs I read a lot is Coffee, Tea, Books, and Me. Brenda originates this friendly and chatty blog. I’ve been reading her blog almost daily for over a year. Though I don’t know her personally, I wrote to her and asked her about developing a readership for Graceful Lives. Brenda was kind enough to write back and tell me that writing consistently and often would help a great deal. Now, every night around midnight, I think, “Skip sleep and go write a post.” Lately, I’ve been so exhausted by midnight that there’s not much creativity left in me to use to put a few thoughts together.

You really should read Brenda’s blog and get pointers about deepening your food pantry and being prepared for anything. Brenda is a precious born-again sister who has been through many trials and still praises the Lord with all she has. I’m inspired by her all the time. You’ll find her at www.coffeeteabooksandme.blogspot.com. I want to feature her in an interview one day soon as one of my “Women of Grace.” She is certainly that.

I’m home! What a wonderful sound that has to it. I got back on Sunday evening and Russ literally bounded down our front stairs to see me. He told me later that he had been more excited to see me this time because he had missed me more this trip. I think our having vacation time together just convinced us both that we’re so much better when we’re together. It felt really great to be missed by my sweet fella.

There are still intentions to tell you about our anniversary which we celebrated while on vacation. I will do that later. I think it’s worth writing about because it is fantastic news that two people are crazy about each other after 43 years together. If there are more of you long time marrieds out there, write me and let me feature YOU. It takes a tremendous amount of work to stay committed to the same person for decade after decade. It takes even more grace to continue to be “in love” with the same person for a long, long time. I believe as well that steadfast, unshakeable love is an act of our will. Real love and dedication lies in our head as much as in our heart. Do you agree with me? I’d love to hear from you about this. Today, my good friend, Caron, celebrated 31 years with her cutie, Pat. They just had their first grandbaby and are about to marry off their last daughter to a wonderful young man. They have a lot for which to be grateful and they are. It’s exciting to see very good things happening to very good people!

Well, I’m going to close for now and write that anniversary post tomorrow. It’s almost 9:00 p.m. and we have company. My oldest daughter from Conroe, Texas, is visiting for a couple of days. While I’m really happy to see her, I’m even more overjoyed at seeing our great granddaughter, Lenzy, who lives with Laura and her husband. To have a four year old in our house for two days will be wonderful. Lenzy lived with us for over 18 months. Her Papa and I are devoted to this little one.

Psalm 118: 28-29 “The Lord is my God! I will praise Him and tell Him how thankful I am. Tell the Lord how thankful you are, because He is kind and always merciful.”

Post Script to Yesterday's Post

2009-10-25T21:30:00.005-05:00

Today is an add-on to yesterday's post. You'll have to read that entry to totally understand why I'm posting today's entry. I was disappointed that I didn't have photos from the Fredericksburg and Kerrville leg of our vacation trip. After talking so much about our Kerrville years yesterday, I just thought someone might like to get just a glimpse of our life during this time of our family's life. I apologize for the quality of the photos. They are mounted in an old scrapbook of mine. Since I'm writing this blog at my San Antonio apartment, I don't have a scanner and have to rely on taking photos of the pages.

Below is the front of the foster home as it looked in the 80s. Russ painted the entire house and trim to please me. It was chocolate brown when we moved there in 1981. You can imagine how many coats of primer and paint it took to make the house white. You can't tell from the photo, but the house has two stories. There were four main bedrooms, three baths, living room, dining room, kitchen, office, and family room. In addition there was a two bedroom, one bath small apartment area in the back of the house for our daughters. We raised the flags daily and even had a neighbor to write and commend us for instilling patriotism in our children. Only our closest neighbors knew that our home was a foster home. We tried hard to make the house look like a normal house in the neighborhood.

Below is a photo of a scrapbook page which features the house in the center and pictures of some of the foster children surrounding it. We had both boys and girls living with us for the first four or five years and then switched to having just boys. Most of the children were from 10-16 years of age.

Below is another album page featuring more of our foster children. We had a high success rate with many of our children and their parents meeting prescribed goals and able to be reunited. Some of our children were long term placements and stayed with us for much longer periods of time. Many of our foster children came to know Christ as their personal Savior while they lived with us. Of course, not all our placements were successful ones. There were those children or teens who ran away or who continued to get into trouble. It always broke our hearts when we weren't able to reach one of the kids and they had to be placed elsewhere. Some of our kids had been taken away from their parents because the family was either abusive or was not an appropriate place for the child. While we were still at the foster home a wonderful thing began to happen. There was a bigger emphasis on getting older children and teens adopted and out of the foster care system. We saw three children find families who adopted them.

Finally, below, there's a photo of Russ and me and the girls, circa 1985 or 1986. Look at my handsome Russ! With my dark hair (at least it was dark back then!) I always was the odd one in this family of blondes. Notice Laura and Autumn's 80's big hair and shoulder pads. The silly bee on my jacket is a sticker that was supposed to go with the layout of this scrapbook page. Like my clothes, glasses, and hair, my scrapbooking style has certainly changed.

Yes, I know. In reality, we can't go back home again. Yet, I'm glad that we can recall memories and reminiscence about the past. I welcome the excuse to look at these old photos again. When I see them, I am reminded of all the grace-filled moments of this time of our lives. Not every experience was a good one. There were many nights of tears and even pleas for the Lord to let me let go of this ministry. In a field where the burn out and fall out rate is about nine months, we lasted almost 10 years. Today, I see again all that God accomplished in us, in our girls, and in the foster children. I am amazed at what He was gracious enough to do through us, even when I was kicking and screaming about how hard it was. When I think about the Kerrville days and 10 or 12 of us sitting at the dining room table eating, studying and praying together, I am humbled that God gave us this opportunity to serve Him. There's a nice glow to the last days of our vacation as I recall this trip down Memory Lane. God is good and His grace is abundant.

Psalm 9: 1-2 "I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart and tell about the wonders you have worked. God Most High, I will rejoice; I will celebrate and sing because of you."

Going Home Again

2009-10-24T21:19:00.001-05:00

While Russ and I have been back to work for a while, I’m not able to leave the subject of our vacation yet. I think it’s because the Lord spoke to us so clearly along every leg of the vacation journey. The original plans we made for our two weeks of leisure seemed so wonderful and represented such a dream vacation time—one of those once in a lifetime ventures. When we realized that we needed to trim our plans down to be more financially reasonable, I have to admit I was sorely disappointed. Russ was probably more disappointed than I was since he was the trip planner who had launched the idea of the grand vacation in the first place. Yet, as we drove from our starting point in Memphis, traveled to Branson, Missouri, then through Arkansas and the Ouachita National Forest and Mountains, and then finally back into Texas, we were two very happy and contented people.

As we got back into Texas, we went by our home in Ft. Worth. I was VERY reluctant to do this since we arrived there on a Sunday. I just knew that Russ would get a phone call from church and have to go in and work. Gratefully, I was wrong. We washed several loads of laundry and repacked for the last leg of our journey. I had to pack my work files and things for my next work trip to San Antonio since our very last stopping place for the vacation would be San Antonio. It made me sad as I saw my big rolling briefcase go into the back of the Rodeo along with all the sundry boxes and bags that I usually take with me for my work sessions in the Alamo City. I realized with every bag that went into the car that our vacation was nearly over.

Russ would have none of my doldrums. With a marvelously merry attitude and spirit, he reminded me that we had several days to just relax and still have fun. We took an alternate, somewhat longer route out of Ft. Worth and towards San Antonio. Rather than go directly to San Antonio, we decided to take a side trip through part of the Texas Hill Country so familiar to us—Fredericksburg and Kerrville.

Fredericksburg is a small German town well known for its quaint village-like characteristics and the fantastic eclectic shops all along the historic downtown Main Street. My heart even now beats faster when just saying Fredericksburg because I love this little town so much. I know it well because it is just about 25 miles down the road from Kerrville where Russ and I lived with our girls from roughly 1981 through 1991…ten of the most important and influential and yes, wildly happy years of our lives.

I had been really good about not spending money during most of the vacation. In Fredericksburg, I tossed frugality out the window and had a very good time finding some unique Christmas gifts. The shopping was just as much fun as I remembered it to be! With our 43rd Anniversary just days away, Fredericksburg also provided an opportunity for Russ and me to treat ourselves to early anniversary gifts—James Avery silver wedding rings. I’ll write more about the anniversary in another post.

Needless to say, the walk down “old times” in my favorite little village town was a huge success. We arrived in Fredericksburg in the afternoon and only stayed through the next afternoon. As much as I enjoyed our special “shopportunity”, I’m really not that much into what some women call retail therapy. Once I had my gorgeous new ring, a new Christmas angel, and a few Christmas gifts for the family, I was finished with helping to restore the economy.

But, before we headed back to San Antonio, we decided to drive the 25 miles over to Kerrville to go by a couple of our favorite places—the large home in the center of town in which we lived for much of our time in Kerrville, the church we attended and then served on staff for a couple of years before moving, and the house out in the hills to which we moved during our last years in Kerrville.
Talk about a trip down Memory Lane! In the nearly 20 years since we moved from Kerrville, Russ and I have only been back together to visit maybe two times. I’ve been back a few other times since we have One by One Ministries work in several Kerrville churches. Yet, when I’m there to train or have meetings, I don’t go by the old “haunts.” I just usually go to wherever I have an appointment. When we drove into Kerrville from Fredericksburg, I was watching Russ’ reactions and caught his surprised gasp and shocked look when he saw all the new stores, buildings, and other developments. The empty lots which had always been there in the past were now occupied by motels, gas stations, restaurants, and shopping centers.

Of course we went by our big old house at 829 Earl Garrett first. We had moved to Kerrville in 1981 to serve as foster parents for the Medina River Baptist Association (back then a group of the 28 Baptist churches which included Fredericksburg, Comfort, Junction, Boerne, and Kerrville, all rather small Texas Hill Country towns) Group Foster Home. The house itself was owned by the Association and the work with foster children was sponsored by Buckner Baptist Benevolences, a large national child and family services agency. Back in the 80s, Buckner ran group foster homes in many areas of Texas. Working for Buckner and moving to Kerrville was a very deliberate and well thought out action on Russ and my part. After a hard stretch in our marriage, Russ and I had prayed and decided that we wanted to do something very different for the Lord, for ourselves, and for our children. The story behind this move and career change would make an entire book, so I’ll not go into everything here.

Just know that stopping by the old site of the foster home brought back a flood of memories. While we lived in this grand old 5,000+ square foot turn-of-the-century home, we had 50 children who lived with us for six months to five years at a time. Over a period of eight years we had stripped down and painted almost every inch of the house, inside and out. We had worked hard to make the house a safe haven and a comfortable home for the children and teens with whom we lived and worked. Suffice it to say, we were well invested in the career which we had so carefully chosen and in the children who were placed with us by Buckner, Child Protective Services, and sometimes the juvenile court systems of various cities and counties. I think the outward manifestation of our joy and satisfaction for most of those years was the glow and well kept exterior of the house. In those days, the house stood out on the block and even won awards at Christmas when we lined the long winding front sidewalk with glass jars holding candles.

On that day of our vacation, parked in front of the former foster home, Russ and I were so lost in our individual thoughts and memories that it took a few minutes before either of us spoke. While the structure of the house looked the same, its exterior sometime in the past 20 years had been repainted. Some features of the yard had been changed as well. Currently, it looked very tired and worn and in need of repairs and maintenance. We knew that the house had had a varied past and had changed from a foster home to a pregnancy care center to some other helping agency in recent years. On the day we were there, it looked empty, tired and forlorn.
We were so taken aback by seeing the house in its current state that we didn’t take photos. I think we both just wanted to remember this fine grand dame of a house as it was when we lived there. Once we drove away and got over our initial shock of what we had seen, Russ and I grew philosophical in our discussions. Of course, we shouldn’t have expected to find the home the same. Of course there are been changes. Russ and I had experienced change. We weren’t the same two starry-eyed people who had embraced small town life and loved having eight foster children at a time living with us.

We then drove around the corner to see First Baptist Church where we spent many happy days. This county seat church had welcomed us and loved us as we served at the foster home. Russ and I had also both served on staff at this church after we left the foster home and as we decided on the next part of our family’s future. As we drove past the church on our vacation day, it was obvious that it had also undergone big changes. There were new additions, new garden areas, and new playground areas. From the front of the church plant, nothing about the church’s exterior looked quite the same as it had. If we had seen a photo of the current building and church grounds, we may not have recognized it as First Baptist. Time certainly doesn’t wait for anyone.

If our vacation had already been about lessons the Lord was teaching us, this last leg of the journey was certainly filled to the brim with spiritual instructive moments. We drove from the foster home and First Baptist out to a rural subdivision where we stopped to see the house to which we moved after we completed our time with Buckner and the foster home. It also had been an important home in our life as we started a different time of our life with our marriage totally healed, our children graduating from high school and starting lives of their own. Our first two grandchildren had been born while we lived in this gray blue house. Some of our best Christmases were spent in this house on a hillside with a spectacular view of the surrounding hill country. Of course, in the years since we moved away from Kerrville and this house, changes had been made, the biggest of which was that a double-wide trailer had been moved in on the lot next to our former residence. Shock registered on both Russ’ face and mine. The subdivision had always included lovely homes on spacious, well-treed lots. There were wide scenic vistas from every angle. These things were still evident. However, as in a lot of rural subdivisions, there were few deed restrictions. Though there’s nothing wrong with a double-wide, we were shocked and dismayed that this development had occurred in this beautiful area and probably changed property values for our former neighbors. It was obvious that nothing of our previous life had stayed the same.

Our drive from Kerrville to San Antonio, only 70 miles down the road, began with a short silence as Russ and I tried to grasp what we had just witnessed. Then we both started talking about all our memories of Kerrville and about our reactions to what we had just witnessed. We both said the same thing, “Time never stands still and you really can’t go back home.”

In spite of the momentary sadness we felt after our visit to our past, this was a great way to wind down our vacation. As we talked on our drive into San Antonio, Russ and I reflected on the life we now have. While we have such tremendously good memories of our Kerrville years, we have moved on. We are as changed and different today as are our former residences and church. Kerrville represents a wonderful time of our family’s life. We will always be grateful to the Lord for the years of service with our foster children and the church. Someday I will write more about these years. However…and here’s an important however…we realized while we drove that we can’t and don’t even want to go back to our past. Though it’s complicated as can be, this phase of our life is wonderful and we love it. I think I can speak for Russ and say that we wouldn’t change a moment of it—except being with each other more. For everything there is a season…

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-7… “Everything on earth has its own time and its own season. There is a time for birth and death, planting and reaping, for killing and healing, destroying and building, for crying and laughing, weeping and dancing, for throwing stones and gathering stones, embracing and parting. There is a time for finding and losing, keeping and giving, for tearing and sewing, listening and speaking.”

Yes, There's More! The Vacation Continues...

2009-10-19T03:42:00.001-05:00

I can’t remember the last time that Russ and I took off and “played” for two full weeks. I had my sweet man’s attention almost every moment of every day—and I loved that! Embarrassing our children aside, I have to confess that I flirted and made passes at my favorite guy at every opportunity.

In my last post I described Russ’ near catastrophic adventure with a deep, deep ravine. You would think that the fall would be enough to make one call it quits for the day. I would not have blamed Russ at all. However, being the brave soul that he is, Russ dusted himself off, or rather, scraped the mud off, cleaned his head cut and we were off again. It would be later that night that the true consequence of his fall would be apparent. But, for that afternoon on Magazine Mountain with a round of pain killers in his system, Russ continued to drive us down the other side of the mountain and through the Ouachita National Forest. I was ready to take over and drive, but there's just something about Texan men and their cars and driving.

The haze and rain stayed with us all the way down the mountain and beyond even as we stopped at a beautiful picnic/camping spot. We parked and got out for a while to take a few photos of what we’d call in Texas a gorgeous “waterin’ hole.” If it hadn’t been for the rain and the cool fall temperatures, I think Russ and I would have gotten into our swimsuits that were tucked neatly away in our suitcases and just jumped in. There definitely would have been NO photos of that event! Good sense (and good taste) prevailed. You know, you can only embarrass your offspring just so much.

Below are shots of the spring fed creek and water fall we found at the picnic/camping spot in Ouacita National Forest. There are also a couple of photos of a lovely wood bridge we walked over. Again, the autumnal scenery was colorfully and gracefully pleasing to the eye. If one was given to hyperbole, words like magnificently dressed for the season might come to mind. The fallen wet leaves covered most of the trails on which we walked, muffling the sound of our footsteps. With just light foot pads being the only other noise audible, it was easy to hear the rushing gurgling water in the background with better clarity and stereo orientation than a Bose CD player. I know that I’m in danger of sounding too much like Jane Austin or Emily Bronte; but, I have to comment that the forest around us had a elegant look about it and the surroundings felt magical. We would have happily stayed in this one spot and finished the vacation sleeping in the car just to enjoy the beauty around us. I’m not sure you could find such a moment at Sea World or the Washington Monument. Remember that you can click on the photo and see an enlarged version.

All too soon we were at the bottom of the mountain and back on a level road without the curves we had experienced going up and then again coming down the mountain. The scenery remained lovely for miles as we continued through the forest; but, that moment of magical natural splendor had passed. The real world of Seven/Elevens, gas stations, homes and lawns, and McDonald’s seemed to come crashing down on us as the road became straighter and flatter. Our vacation wasn’t over yet. Fortunately, we still had several days left to unwind and rest before going back to work. It’s just that with our leaving Missouri and now Arkansas, I felt like a child on December 30th of Christmas break. Our days had been everything we wanted them to be (even with my cold) and now we were facing driving back into Texas and getting closer again to the reality of jobs, deadlines, etc.

I shouldn’t have worried, however, because Russ had another plan or two to make our last couple of vacation days really special. I can’t believe it, but I’m going to get at least one or even two more posts out of the vacation!

Now, I know you’re waiting for the spiritual life lessons from this part of the vacation. Well, there are some that the Lord taught us well. I'll leave it to you to read between the lines and see the life applications.

It’s always grand to be in love with the person with whom you spend vacations! (O.K. while true, this idea is not as spiritual as the other thoughts which follow.)
Look well before you step, especially when your path is unfamiliar and is covered with wet leaves.
Stop and enjoy lovely sights and breath-taking moments wherever and whenever they appear.
Make every day, even ordinary ones, special and grace-filled. Don't wait for vacation to stop and smell the roses or the fall leaves.
Work may be in the valley and vacation on the mountain, yet we need to remember that valleys lie between two mountains.
Forgetting yourself and remembering only God and His wonder are parts of vacation type living that can go on and on no matter the surroundings or circumstances.
Rest, refreshment, renewal, and restoration are God’s Graceful Life-Savers.

The following verses from Psalm 90 just seem perfect to end this post:

Psalm 90: 12-14…”Teach us to use wisely all the time that we have. Help us, Lord! Don’t wait! Pity your servants. When morning comes, let your love satisfy all our needs. Then we can celebrate and be glad for what time we have left.”

The Vacation Road Leads to Arkansas

2009-10-12T20:25:00.009-05:00

Here we are on our way back to Texas after spending a few days in Branson, Missouri. Russ and I have loved the state of Arkansas since our early married days. We won a vacation to Arkansas when our oldest daughter was just a baby, about 1969. Back then we visited a new vacation development in North Arkansas and saw the Ouichita Mountains and National Forest for the very first time. We were hooked from the very first sight of this gorgeous part of the country.

What made this part of our vacation really special for me is that Russ designed our trip to take me along the path of one of his previous motorcycle trips through this area. I loved seeing things through his eyes and he was so sweet as he shared what he had learned about this area as he rode through it last year. When we got to Russellville, Arkansas, the evidence of autumn was everywhere. Back in Texas we were still seeing nothing but green, so what a welcome sight it was to see the glorious hues all around us.

On the day we explored Magazine Mountain, rain and fog settled in all around us. Russ had hoped for a clear, sunny day so I could enjoy the vista from the top of the mountain. I, on the other hand, was delighted by the hazy quality of the day. It felt that we were indeed in the clouds as we rode along. Because there had been so much rain in this area lately, springs were active everywhere. The difficult thing was finding a place along the side of the two lane road that was wide enough for us to pull over and park and take photos.

When we got to the top of Magazine Mountain, the views below are what we saw. We couldn't see the same vista Russ saw on his motorcycle trip up this mountain months ago. However, you have to admit, that the views in the shots are still awesome ones.

On our way down the mountain, we saw several more sets of water falls. Read more below about our adventure in getting just the perfect pictures of these beautiful natural wonders.

The springs and waterfalls pictured above were really breathtaking. We saw them on our way up the mountain but couldn't find a place to pull over and park for picture taking. On our way back down the mountain, we found one of the largest waterfalls again AND a narrow parking space right next to a drop off to a deep ravine. After pulling over, Russ got out of the car and went in search of the perfect shots of this natural wonder. I thought he would take a while to get just the right angles, so I picked up the novel I had been reading. While I love nature and really enjoyed seeing the falls both going up and now coming down the mountain, I had gotten to the next to last chapter of the book. The death of the main character of the book drew my attention as Russ was searching for enough light and the right location to get his pictures. Just as the author of my book revealed some of the facts needed to solve the biggest mystery of the novel, something caught my eye and I looked up. I didn't see Russ immediately, so I raised up and looked out the car window towards the ravine.

When I finally spotted Russ, he was four or five feet below the road's edge. At first I thought he had climbed down to a ledge to get his perfect shot. Then I saw the look on his face and saw him wiping blood from his forehead. By the time I exited the car and ran towards him, Russ had gingerly climbed up the side of the ravine and back onto the solid ground of the road. My man's face looked like that of someone coming back from a war. His forehead on his right side was cut and bleeding and the left side of his face had abrasions from the forehead down to his chin. Russ had mud and grass stains all along his right shoulder, across his back side and down one leg. To say that his face was ashen white is an understatement. He was really shaken up. It seems that he had slipped on the wet leaves and fallen down the side of the ravine, fortunately catching himself before falling all the way down hundreds of feet to the botton of the ravine. He hit his head on a small tree and then was able to grab another tree to break his fall and stop his sliding farther downward. We cleaned him up and then went on down the mountain. I have to give credit where credit is due. The man got my pictures of the falls! Later that night he had developed a a real shiner with deep bruising on his right eye. He had bruises and abrasions all across his shoulders, arms, back side and legs. Russ' favorite things that night were Ibuprofen and a hot shower. The photo below shows where Russ slipped and went over the edge.

The photo below is the infamous shot Russ risked life and limb to catch. It is a good one, isn't it? I have to admit that nothing about the novel I was reading compares to Russ' adventure! We are making a little light of the situation because otherwise it scares us silly. It does not escape us that Russ was in real danger. We know that it was God's providential care which kept him safe. A simple outing could have ended with grave consequences. We know for sure how good God is and we are very, very grateful that He was watching over my precious husband.

The verses listed below are Russ' and my personal choice after our experience on the mountain. Russ truly felt that he was close enough to his life being in great danger that he wanted to mark this event as one that he will not soon forget. We began learning lessons in Branson, and life's greatest Teacher taught us more in Arkansas. Whether we are mindful of it or not, on any given day (even on vacation) we could find ourselves in a life threatening situation. God, our Creator, Sustainer, Savior, and Father holds us in His very hands no matter what the situation.

Psalm 18: 30-33 ..."As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; He enables me to stand on the heights."

And, They're Off!

2009-10-12T07:04:00.004-05:00

V a c a t i o n. Just say that word out loud and my mind conjures up fantastic memories. Rushing to the surface are recollections of warm beaches and salt water waves, or flashy whirling, make-me-sick rides at a huge amusement park, or the smell of canvas tents and wood burning in an outdoor fire with s’mores on the way. I guess Russ and I have planned and executed at least 43 vacation times when we left work behind and managed to find some magic either at home in our own backyard or off to an affordable destination that made us forget about problems, deadlines, and the other things that attach us to the everyday and the ordinary. With the rose-colored glasses we all seem to put on when we think about our pasts, I look back across the years and remember how precious those days are to us. Sometimes, in the early life of our family, there were just four or five vacation days carefully strung together. No matter what we did or where we went on vacation, these special times stand apart as absolutely astonishing and extraordinary.

This year, we let spring and summer pass by without a real vacation because neither Russ’ nor my schedule would allow for us to take off for more than a day or two at the time. We began to look at the fall as a time for our vacation because it is actually our most favorite time of the year. Russ, being our usual family vacation planner, took on our fall vacation with the gusto of a seasoned travel agent. He actually planned three different itineraries: a new Bahamas cruise sailing out of Galveston, Texas; a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Washington D.C. filled with historic sites and wonderful stops at monuments, etc.; and finally, a slow journey through historic and beautiful autumnal rural countryside in Pennsylvania with stays at small towns along the way to Philadelphia and back through Harrisburg and Gettysburg. We spent many fun nights on the phone, me in San Antonio and Russ in Ft. Worth, working out the details of each different trip.

In the last analysis, when the downturn in the economy continued to challenge the well-being of One by One, Russ and I decided to trim down our vacation. Plan No. Four was launched quickly. The new plan dictated that I would fly to Memphis and complete my last training there for this year. Russ would drive up to Memphis and pick me up and we’d drive back to Texas along a route that would take us to an interesting stop or two. Russ came up with the idea that Branson, Missouri was on our way back (well, it is sort of). He mapped out a route that would take us through several states as we headed back to Texas.

By the end of the day on September 3rd, our official vacation launch date, I had come down with an awful cold. I had been exposed to several coughing and sneezing folks both at previous training sessions and on the airplane in route to Memphis. By Saturday night, I was miserable, with a head full of congestion and a sore throat. So much for my saying, “I never get sick.” We stayed an extra day in Memphis just so I could load up on some cold meds and rest a little. Russ had booked a Branson hotel for us before he left Ft. Worth, but we didn’t make any more plans than that, waiting to see how I would be feeling.

By Monday morning I felt all right enough to head out to Branson. Once we left Memphis, we really enjoyed the drive to Missouri with the roadside lined with fall foliage. It may not have been the autumn of the eastern United States we had originally planned for vacation, but the scenery along our drive to Branson was lovely beyond words. There was row after row of every kind of tree imaginable all decked out in crimson reds, vivid oranges, and burnished browns. God is so good!
Since we had never been to Branson, we really didn’t know what to expect. We’d heard many stories from friends who had visited Branson repeatedly and loved it. I think these stories had influenced Russ’ and my thinking to the point that we were really surprised by the reality of this town whose life is entertainment. As we drove into the town, I know that both Russ and I had a certain image in our minds of what we thought the city would look and be like. Somehow we had gotten the idea that Branson was as glamorous as Las Vegas (but much more wholesome) and as entertaining and fascinating as Disney World. We were more than a little surprised by what we found. The most startling thing to me was that the entertainment part of Branson looked like an old fashioned boom town which had evolved sort of willy-nilly over the years.

There are indeed some large, beautiful Las Vegas-style theaters or show palaces with lots of neon and the latest electronic signs out front. However, there are as many if not more theaters that are built from portable tin structures, or are decades-old wooden theaters with tired looking facades. Everything is scrunched together down several main “drags” with motels and restaurants of every description squeezed between the theaters, attractions, and shops.

I have to say also that we have never seen so many gray and white haired folks in one place before. Until our second day there, we did not see anyone less than 70 or older. We actually felt like the young ones! Perhaps it was the time of year, but there were very few young or even middle-aged families anywhere to be found. R.V.s and large buses filled with retirees seemed to be the norm. There’s nothing wrong with this scenario—it just wasn’t what we expected. Russ and I kept looking at each other and commenting—is this what we look like, too? Because we’re still actively working with thoughts of retirement in the distant future, we don’t see ourselves as senior citizens. Branson provided a mirror to our near future!

Second, we expected to see the names of stars we recognized plastered on the billboards of the theaters and shows. However, we barely recognized any of those appearing in the shows. We did see a few famous names on the buildings and theaters and a couple of country western stars who were doing limited gigs. Russ jokingly said that most of those stars that might appear in Branson were doing Dancing With the Stars and were just not available!

That being said, I have to hurry to comment that the town was a friendly one and the locals bent on pleasing and serving customers. The four shows we took in were fantastic, filled with some of the most talented individuals we’ve ever seen or heard. The production quality of the performances would match any of those on Broadway or in Hollywood. We felt that we really got our money’s worth and then some with every show we saw.

Even with the variety review of Broadway plays, the costuming, music, and actions on the stage were family-oriented. It was wonderful to watch scene after scene and not be insulted or embarrassed by the dialogue or sexual innuendos. While the actors and performers were not well known ones, they were superbly talented.

All through our Branson days, we felt that God was teaching us lesson after lesson. One thing we learned quickly was to stop judging things by appearances only and to appreciate what we were experiencing. Big names and glamour are not needed when true talent is evident. We enjoyed every experience God allowed us to have.

The self portrait below is Russ and me out and about and enjoying ourselves in spite of my cold (which was worsening at that moment in the photo).

We were laughing in this photo mostly because we had eaten so many of our meals at the Branson Cracker Barrel. We struck out several times when we tried some of the other, more exotic looking local restaurants. We kept trying new restaurants and finding that the food was just awful. Our motto became, “If the words home-cooking and/or buffet are visible on the sign out front, run like crazy!” We again felt that God was teaching us lessons. Sometimes the old and familiar are better friends than the new, different, and exciting. And, when in doubt, go with the reliable known things in your life.

Russ had gone on line and researched several of the shows playing during our time in Branson. He really wanted to go to a show called, “SIX.” I was willing to go to this one really only to please Russ. Then, we got to the show and I was blown away by the talent of six brothers ranging in age from their late 40s to late 20s. These guys sang, but more surprisingly, they were their own band as well. Using only their mouths and voices, these brothers provided the percussion, piano, and horns for every piece they sang. I would have sworn under oath that there was a back-up tape playing, but there wasn’t. The production numbers were so well done that I wanted to give them a standing ovation for every piece they sang! The lesson the Lord poured into my life: Don’t jump to conclusions and be negative—wait for the facts. Give some things a chance before automatically saying no.

We saw three productions at the very same theater. See the photo below.

We were able to get unbelievable bargains on these shows because they were under the same management. We saw a Broadway review show comprised of familiar pieces from 20+ popular plays; the Twelve Irish Tenors who sang ever genre of music from classical opera to jazz and rock and roll; and the exquisite Spirit of the Dance with a huge troupe of talented young people who sang and danced through brilliant number after number. Russ and I had the time of our life—in the presence of hundreds of retirees and senior citizens! I took my rounds of meds, stayed away from others (so I wouldn’t make anyone else ill) and rested between shows. We found some great cough medicine that kept me from coughing even once during a performance. Lessons learned? Excellence can be found anywhere. And, where there’s a will, there’s a way!

Branson wasn’t what we thought it was going to be…it was actually better. Different than our expectations, but wonderful just the same. Would we go again? In a heartbeat! Vacation saga to be continued.

James 1:5 "If any of you need wisdom, you should ask God, and it will be given to you. God is generous and won’t correct you for asking."

And The Seige Began

2009-10-10T09:48:00.002-05:00

O.K. my wild, crazy life has interrupted my blogging good intentions again. The days have passed quickly and I am shocked that October is well underway and my last post is back in late September. My intentions were to write often…at least two to four times a week. Then, yes, work, illness, and just “life stuff” got in the way. Here I am again embarrassed with “sorry” on my tongue.

When a fellow blogger who has maintained a popular blog for years responded to my enquiry about how one grows readership for a blog, I was not surprised by her advice. She wrote that blogs must be current and the writer must post almost every day. I know she’s right, and oh how I love to read her well written daily posts. Yet, as guilty as I feel today in being so far behind yet again, I’m NOT going to quit posting. I’ll just keep trying to be more and more current as time goes by.

September proved to be a trial of a month. My detailed and planned and normally well executed schedule just went out the window when I was besieged by three serious maladies—well, now four of them. Let me state clearly that I am almost never ill. After years of working with children as the director of large child development centers and schools, my immune system is a great, marvelous work of God. Normally, while the whole office or family are catching colds, flu, etc., I’m the one still perking along, taking care of the sick ones. And, typically feeling sorry for the “sickies” under my breath, I move through one bout of contagious stuff after the other. That is until I get hit with something that didn’t come to me in the air by someone sneezing on me. Within one September week, I went to the doctor twice and the emergency room once.

Everything started with an “old as mankind” and very personal problem—hemorrhoids. When on my own in San Antonio, I lift too much as I unload boxes of curriculum at trainings, or move furniture when I take a fancy to making a change in my apartment’s décor. Not very smart moves for someone with chronic hemorrhoids. This time, when I got home to Ft. Worth, my over-the-counter meds were not working and I was in total misery. Trip one to the doctor yielded some great maintenance strategies and meds that brought some instant relief. However, within three days, I was bent over with horrible back pains, and a curious streak of red across the right side of my abdomen.

Trip two to the doctor, a urinalysis, and a diagnosis of a urinary tract infection. Not uncommon for women, and certainly not uncommon for folks with hemorrhoids. More meds and the admonition to go to bed for a day or two and rest. Rest is not a word in my vocabulary for September. I’m working with the rest of our staff on closing in with all the details for our One by One fundraiser, doing three week-ends of eight hour trainings for coordinators and mentors, and trying to keep up with my regular duties as our ministry’s Program Director. Rest is a word I promise to speak when everything is over and I can breathe again.

Wrong, wrong, wrong thinking. Within two days of the UTI diagnosis, my back and right side are more painful than ever. I feel awful all over and my bright red streak on my abdomen is bigger and beginning to become bumpy. This time, my destination is the E.R. because the doctor had already told me to go there if I continued to have pain in spite of the strong meds she gave me.
Another urinalysis, plus a C.T. scan and the E.R. doctors are satisfied that the UTI is better. So what’s the final problem? A heavy duty case of shingles! I’d had a very easy case of shingles over 15 years ago with one little blister on my face. Anti-virals worked great back then and I had moved on, never thinking about this problem again…until now. Guess what? Anyone who has ever had chicken pox is a candidate for shingles. Stress and fatigue are two of the things that can make a person more susceptible to developing an active outbreak.

Stress and fatigue—me? I was so miserable that I had no choice than to take the anti-virals and the pain killers and go the bed for a day or two. That accounts for those lapses of blogs in mid to late September. With so much still pending for One by One, I had to work some between spells of lying down and resting. I got pretty good at working through the pain and staying focused.
By September 17th, I was driving back to San Antonio to do the first round of training on the 19th. The next week found me deep in the preparations for our One by One fundraiser gala. The hours both before and during this event were full to overflowing with errands to run and details to manage. And, there was the second round of training to do on the 26th. I did manage to get a post on Graceful Lives on the 27th.

Then, the bottom fell out of my schedule with the fundraiser on the 29th, the fast turnaround and trip back to Ft. Worth on the 30th with barely minutes for repacking for both a work trip to Memphis and our long planned for vacation. We arrived home in Ft. Worth at 9:00 p.m. on the 30th and left for the airport with everything completed at 6:00 a.m. the next morning. I thought about a Graceful Lives post but voted for a bath and bed instead.

When I arrived in Memphis, my hostess for my stay (our Memphis One by One staff person) had news. Her father-in-law had suffered a brain hemmoridge and they might have to leave at any second to go to Minnesota. My plans of staying in her home with lovely meals at the ready and a built-in driver were extinguished in a heartbeat. I had planned on catching up with blogging during this ideal stay in Memphis. Once again, my posts went undone as I moved to a hotel, rented a car, made a new plan for my Memphis time, and began to fight the onslaught of a cold that had made itself known as I got off the airplane earlier.

Long, long story made just a bit shorter, no posting was accomplished. Russ made it to Memphis, as previously planned, on Saturday the 3rd and met me after my last round of training. We stayed in Memphis an extra day as I fought off fever, coughing, and the other miseries of a head to chest cold. What was that I was saying about not catching things? That theory is out the window! I think all my earlier maladies just weakened my immune system and made me an easy target for that dreaded rhino virus.

I’ve got to end here and leave you in suspense. We did leave Memphis and start our vacation. I’ll pick up there tomorrow, I promise, because the story is worth telling. Thanks for staying with me as I recanted my tale of woe.

In spite of not being able to post blogs, I WAS able to pray a lot and concentrate on the Lord. I was forced at times to get the rest that the doctor had prescribed a couple of weeks ago. In all of my retelling of my journey over the weeks of late September and early October, I hope you see a lesson over-riding all the grimey details. If we would just listen the first time and do what the Lord is telling us to do, we might get on with our lives a lot sooner. The cost I paid for not listening was a high one. While I accomplished all my work assignments and no one knew at any of the trainings or events that I was ill or hurting, the cost was being more ill in the evenings and a overflow of my being sick into our first days of vacation.

Moral of the tale? LISTEN AND OBEY!! God’s timing is always best and our own plans are pretty insignificant compared to His. Through everything, the Lord was right there for me. I can’t recount how many times I felt His presence holding me up and getting me through everything I had to do. I can’t claim anything wonderful from my last few weeks except God’s GRACE. If I was able to get up after all that happened, it was only because of the Lord’s great love.

2 Corinthians 4: 8-9 “We often suffer, but we are never crushed. Even when we don’t know what to do, we never give up. In times of trouble, God is with us, and when we are knocked down, we get up again.”

Through the Eyes of a Child

2009-09-27T20:38:00.001-05:00

Do you ever wonder what a child is thinking when they look so pensive? Are they lost in wonder as they see parts of their world for the very first time? Are they day dreaming and just not seeing what is going on around them? Is that land of imaginary friends and make-believe and once-upon-a-time so real to them that they are lost in deep thought? Is it possible that they have "God-moments" when they are lost in worship? Do their little minds sense the presence of the Father more deeply than we do since they were so recently in His presence? Is it God they see all around them?

And when a child's face lights up with good humor and great joy, what are they thinking? Why do they enjoy the simple pleasures in life…running through the grass, sliding down yellow tubes of plastic, blowing bubbles…with much more zest than we as adults do? Do they see things more clearly than we do and know how to relish the moment and choose to embrace the fun that comes their way? Through the eyes of a child, does our world seem like a softer and safer place in which to live? Is it because they are so innocent minded and just don't know better yet?

We have to ask, is their deep-down-in-the-heart giddiness possible because children don't even have a vocabulary yet filled with words that describe sorrow, worry, fear, or grief?

Through the eyes of a child, everything seems possible. The older I get, the more I want the innocent joy of a child. I want to see things like they do. My heart longs for simplicity. My life seeks those moments where the giggle starts deep in the tummy and exits the mouth as a full-fledged laugh. I believe that we could all use a run in the grass. And what about a little bit of true, naive worship as we contemplate the grace of our Lord in the world around us?

Through the eyes of a child, a grace-filled life is attainable. Faith in a Heavenly Father who has everything under control is not only plausible, it is possible. Through the eyes of a child, grace is truly AMAZING! Don't get me wrong, however. I know that living the life Christ expects from us requires a huge amount of maturity. Yet, it also mandates an innocent approach to life, a trusting faith, and the bright-eyed wonder of a child. I do believe the results of this approach to life will be better for our looks than Oil of Olay or any kind of plastic surgery!

Luke 18: 15-17..."Some people brought their children for Jesus to bless...So Jesus called the children over to Him and said, 'Let the children come to me! Don't try to stop them! People who are like these children belong to God's kingdom. You will never get into God's kingdom unless you enter it like a child.'"

What Do You Do at 2:00 a.m.??

2009-09-25T04:15:00.004-05:00

All right, I have to confess that my absence from blogging hasn't been because I've been on a cruise and watching sunrises! However, for several days now I’ve been awake waaaay too early and not able to go back to sleep. I’ve been getting myself into bed before 10:00 p.m. and drifting off to sleep very easily. It’s that second time of getting up and going to the bathroom that somehow alerts my body that five hours of sleep is enough. I put on quiet, sleep inducing CDs; I pray for my entire family and my on-going prayer list; I actually count my blessings and list them: I visualize Russ and me together on vacation at the beach; I read my Bible—Psalm after Psalm, and one or all of the Epistles; I read my favorite blogs; I drink milk; I read leadership and self improvement books that are full of detail and no plot; I try to not think about how behind I am with projects, or how many days it’s been since I’ve written in my blog; and, I watch infomercials and finally (sometimes) fall asleep in my big recliner in my living room. It usually isn’t anything major which keeps me awake. If I feel stressed or worried about anything, I usually get the notepad I keep handy and make a list of what’s on my mind and heart, pray over it and by the time I’m half way through the list can usually fall asleep. For the last several days, it’s just being awake and my body not wanting to get back into bed and drift off.

I’m thinking that if you’re reading this and my scenario is your scenario, you should write me. We ought to correspond during these early morning hours and at least enjoy one another’s company! Maybe we could find something boring to talk about and make ourselves good and tired.

Now, since I’m up and obviously very awake, I might as well write a post and catch up for the days I’ve missed. We’re in a real crunch time at One by One Ministries (if you read Graceful Lives, you’ll know that this is the non-profit that I helped create and for which I work). I’m in San Antonio for my regular two week work time and we’re preparing for a big fundraiser this next Tuesday. We are blessed to have a great event coordinator who is a professional development person, so our event is going to be one of the best. It does take a lot of hands, however, to make one of these things come off flawlessly. It is the number one reason that I just haven’t had any time to devote to my blogging.

Also, because of the downturn in the economy, our ministry is really struggling to find adequate funding. That means changes in the way we do business and it means not being able to keep as many staff on board. Our executive director and I will wear even more hats for a while until we are at a different place. Our already 10 hour days will be more like 12 and our week-ends mostly gone. I’m not complaining, really. Just stating where I am. Even with this schedule I feel so led and inspired to keep the posting going with Graceful Lives. Though I’m never sure who is reading the blog, it feels so good to write it.

Those of you who write to me personally or leave occasional comments are such a blessing to me. Thank you for noticing when there is a new post. You inspire me to try harder to get more posting accomplished. What a personal joy it is to share my journey with you. If you keep a blog, I’d love to know so I can read it…like at 2:00 a.m.!

I hope you enjoy the diversity of the Graceful Lives posts. Sometimes it looks like I just can’t make my mind up about which direction I want the blog to go—interior design, home life, arts/crafts, etc. However, the variety in types of posts is intentional. Mixed with the miscellaneous topics, photos, etc. is always a deliberate bent to the text to hopefully guide our thoughts to the Lord and to the spiritual side of who we are. As I stretch a little and work on topics, I pray that you will find some tidbit that might cheer you on to being all that God has planned for you.

I so enjoy the blogs of my other artist and decorator friends who include such lovely photos with their blogs. It just makes for such great visual stimulation as one reads. I am striving for that “look” but it comes at an expenditure of time that I don’t always have right now. So, here’s the scoop. I’m going to concentrate on getting new blog entries written and posted with greater frequency and worry less about the photos. I’m going to include photos as often as I can, but I’m not going to let the lack of them keep me from posting as I’ve been doing. If you, my precious readers, can live with that, I’ll be one very happy camper.

Well, what else do you do at 2:00 a.m.? You sometimes take time to think things through, evaluate, and come up with workable solutions. Perhaps there’s a lesson hidden here somewhere. Is the quiet of the early morning the only space in our lives where we are free to let our minds and hearts roam a bit? For me, the answer seems plain this morning. In the pre-dawn hours, God has my attention today—the competing noises, voices, urgencies, activities are still. My choices are limited and I am more prone to be in a listening mode this morning. Is the urge to get up before dawn just restlessness or is it a really deep spiritual call from the Lord…“Wake up, come and spend some quality time with me.”????

Thank you for sharing these moments with me. It’s now 4:00 a.m. and believe it or not, I’m sleepy! Of course I’m tired and ready to sleep now that there are not many minutes before I need to get in my walking clothes and get out the door for my early morning walk and then it’s time to shower and go to work! But, it’s all right. I’ll survive—no, I’ll thrive through this day. It is our choice, isn’t it? I wish for you “two o’clockers” who are so like me, blissful quiet moments processing your thoughts and being with the Lord.

Psalm 5:1-3…”Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my signing. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.”